The Freaks and The Greeks
by ThroughDeepBlueVelvetSkies
Summary: Volatile Bella Swan is thrown straight into a high school warzone; with vicious ice queens, strangely philosophical stoners, backstabbing giants and a hyperactive emotional neighbour - not to mention the stunning brother who seems to really hate her. AH
1. Wet encounters

**A/N Well hello there, new friend. Has anybody else seen Freaks and Geeks? That show shouldn't have been cancelled. This story, however, has nothing to do with it. **

**Disclaimer: It may surprise you to discover, that I am not in fact Stephenie Meyer. Just another follower. I know, I know, you were fooled for a second there. Happens to the best of us. **

**Read and review! **

**Chapter 1**

**Wet encounters**

The water pelted my shoulders and head, licking around my ears and stroking the crevice of my neck. This was perfection; my head tilted to the sky, my eyes gently closed and a small smile on my face.

I'd been looking forward to this all day – throughout the torturous hours of packing, the quick 'sayonara' to dear Renee and the uncomfortable, excruciatingly long period of the plane journey - where I was inconveniently placed next to a family consisting of four hyper children and an uncaring mother, drowning out the choruses of "are we there yet?" with heavy blasts of Whitney Houston on the last seasons IPod she owned and clutched onto for dear life.

I also survived the awkward two hour car journey to the middle of nowhere, with my father, who spoke only when he had to greet me. Charlie was a simple man; he kept to himself and didn't bother commenting much, however, I knew that when he did talk, he usually had something either particularly serious or surprisingly witty to say, when he was in a good mood that is – I must say, the man has a good sense of humour, even if it only does rear its head once in a blue moon. But we try to avoid each other as much as possible – we're too similar to be compatible.

I heard the comforting roar of thunder as it clapped around in the distance, feeling as if it were knocking ripples into the air and shoving against me.

I felt the easy calm flow through my cool blood as the rain battered the thin white t-shirt into my skin and plastered my long dark hair against my face and neck. I pushed my locks back, relishing in the sound of them slapping against my back.

I smiled wider now and tilted my head back further as the dark enveloped me and the water caressed me; this was heaven right here.

I didn't have to think about my cold hearted, gallivanting mother or her uncomfortably young, latest conquest, I didn't have to think about my first day of my first ever school in the morning, I didn't have to think about my lack of actual friends here or back in Phoenix, or in Durham, or in Paris, or in Glasgow, I didn't have to think about my very short and flammable temper and I didn't have to think about the fact that I had no clue what was going on in my life or if I was at all normal in any way. All I had to do was sit here, on my father's – and now, I guess, my own – roof, outside the window of my new bedroom, staring up at the weeping sky as it drenched and calmed me.

And then someone did something very stupid.

The light from the room right across from me switched on and stole away my dark comfort. My eyes flashed opened and I glared at the face staring not two metres away.

His tortured jade eyes stabbed back at my own - fiery chocolate against passionate mint. This boy was stunningly attractive; thick, dark, pouted lips, inky, heavy eyelashes, pale, smooth skin and frantic hair, a strange rusted red colour. His tight black T-shirt stretched around his muscled arms and made him look as lickable as James Dean.

The bottle-green eyes travelled down from my face to my sopping shirt and jogging shorts, which clung to my - otherwise very naked – figure. He flicked his gaze back up to my eyes again, his expression never changing.

He seemed to be asking a silent question; _what are you doing out in the torrential storm you crazy mother fucker?_ He raised one eyebrow, cocked his head to the side and leant his palms on the window ledge.

I looked up to the sky quickly and felt the rain quickly thinning; I hated this boy, his attractive glare broke me from my meditative state. He'd thrown me off balance with a look and I hated it. I hated how he stole my darkness, I hated how he made my pulse race and most of all I hated that he was the most startlingly beautiful person I had _ever_ encountered.

I bit my lip angrily and then stood lithely up, balancing on the slightly tilted roof tiles. I sent one last hateful look his way before stomping back up to my window and climbing through. I drew the blinds shut without looking back and peeled my clothes of, deciding a shower was in order so that I didn't freeze.

I had wanted to relax, so that I would be ready for the unfortunate social contact too early in the morning. But no, the angry redhead had slaughtered my calm, and left me a nervous, confused, angry mess.

Already, I knew that nothing would be different here; I'm just a piece that won't fit any puzzle and that's the way that it has to be. It was only a matter of time before I revealed to Forks just how unstable I was; then I'd be on the move again.


	2. Unconventional Acceptance

**A/N Ahh, so you've decided to stay along for a little while. That makes me happy. **

**Disclaimer: **_**Still**_** not Stephenie Meyer – I just like to fuck up her characters. **

**Happy Reading - let me know what you think of my little introduction to the characters.**

**Chapter 2**

**Unconventional Acceptance **

The morning came too soon; all of a sudden I was sat at the kitchen table, alone, with the company of my orange juice and toast. I wore some dark skinny jeans and a tight white sex pistols tee. I let my hair go wild today, crunching the natural messy curls with a little mousse to make it thicker. I don't need much makeup when my hair is so dark and big around my face, I paint my eyes with a little mascara and smother my lips in a natural red.

I read the note once more, feeling a stab of resentment at Charlie. I was fine with being alone, but introducing myself to new people? I suck at first impressions.

_Alice at number 11 will give you a ride, see you at nine. _Man, that guy worked long hours; but I suppose when you love your job as much as Chief Swan does, you don't mind working a bit of overtime – in fact, it's probably his choice to be there the majority of the time.

Alice. The girl's name sent a little pang to my chest; girls never seem to like me – well, most people don't – but girls in particular almost always hate me straight off, with guys it takes just a fraction of a second longer. But they get there eventually.

I tumbled out of the door at about quarter past eight, carrying my chuck's because I couldn't be bothered to put them on inside. The rain from last night had almost cleared up altogether, and my socked feet only had to dodge two puddles as I sauntered over to the huge white house next door.

I settled my backpack on my shoulder and climbed the porch, dinging the doorbell and then sitting on the cute, swinging seat to pull on my shoes. The door opened after a few seconds and a small creature popped her head out.

"Isabella's here!" Alice – I assumed – called over her shoulder before she appraised me. "You'll do." She said with a satisfied nod and then leant against the doorframe. She had a small, but curvy body; perfectly accented by a crazy layered dress that stopped just after her bum and bright purple, flowered tights. Her short dark hair was coiffed up and pinned with a large purple flower and with her elfish features and wide, dramatic eyes she looked like she'd stepped off of the glossy pages of a magazine.

"Excuse me?" I asked, not meaning to sound as blunt as I had. But she ignored my question and instead looked back over her shoulder.

"Yo, Old English, we gotta go." She examined her black fingernails and then winked at me. I was majorly confused.

"Fry, you've been spending too much time with Tex. _You _don't call me Old English." The voice was deep, sexy and masculine and I instantly connected him to Furious Red last night. As soon as he sloped past Alice and in front of me, he froze. I stood up from the seat and looked him in the eye.

There was an awkwardly tense moment before Alice coughed and broke it.

"Do you two...know each other?" We both broke our heated gaze and looked at the short smirking girl who casually leant up against the side of her house.

"No." We both snapped at the same time and 'Old English' put his head down and started off down the porch steps.

"You sure?" I looked back to Alice.

"Yeah."

"Alrighty then, that's my brother Edward, and my oldest brother Emmett - who you may or may not meet at school – leaves early to pick up his _girlfriend_." She seemed to snarl the word 'girlfriend' but I let it pass, whoever this chick was, was none of my business. "So Isabella," she said hopping down the steps with me following, "You ready for the ultimate experience that is Forks high, home of the Titans?" I saw Edward had sat himself in the driver's seat of a shiny, silver Volvo, drumming his long fingers impatiently against the steering wheel, not looking in our direction.

"Oh yeah, I'm pumped." I said, void of any emotion. Her eyes scanned me.

"What's wrong? First day blues?"

"Sure." I responded, but mentally I was blaming a lifetime of blues.

"Well," Alice said after a moment of silence, when she caught her brother's eyes in the front seat of my ride to school, "Come on then chatty, let's go." I just nodded and folded myself into the backseat when Alice took the front one next to Edward.

"Edward, really?" She shouted when solid pounds of The Prodigy thumped out of his speakers. I chuckled a little, and then quickly averted my eyes when two probes of green flashed my way from the small length of the rear view mirror.

The rest of the ride was free from idle chit chat; I had a feeling it was killing Alice that she couldn't talk over the music because I think she's one of those people that can't face an awkward silence. Well, if she's going to be giving me lifts, I can assure her, she'll have plenty of spaces to fill.

As we pull into the parking lot, I notice the sign: **Forks High, Home to the Greeks. Go Titans!** The Greeks? What the hell?

"Not even fucking music." I heard Alice mutter as she stepped out of the car and slammed the door, leaving me for an entirely too long second alone in the car with her brother before I scampered out after her. I was surprised that she had waited for me and hadn't scooted off to her friends as soon as she got rid of me; instead she stood patiently by the car.

"Ready?" She asked holding out her hand. I looked at it curiously. "Oh, for fucks sake." She grabbed my hand and propelled me forwards, leading me up to the unfamiliar building and around the side of the stairs. I pretended to be unaware of the multitude of stares I got from all of the students in the parking lot; I guess it was because I was new.

The group of people that we found were unconventional to say the least; you had a small gaggle of punks with the over exaggerated hair and leather (I thought that time was over?), the loners – who surprisingly, flocked together to listen to music and read by themselves, a couple of stoners and a couple of people who looked almost normal, albeit slightly extroverted. I was suddenly wondering where all of the jocks and townies were...I mean, I'd seen high school movies before; were there no cheerleaders at this school? Were all of the movies exaggerated?

A good amount of teenagers lounged on the bike racks by the side of the school steps, all looking like they shouldn't be friends, and yet they were mingling, some of them making out against the side of the building. It was strange; like a clashing of the weirdo's.

"Isabella," Alice began, "No...Bella, you're more of a Bella – even though _that_ nickname probably won't last - This is my boyfriend, Jasper." She towed me up to a cute, tall guy with longish, blonde messy hair and a lazy smile across his face. He was as high as a kite and looked like a chilled mother fucker. He saluted me with two fingers before attaching his lips to his girlfriend's neck. "This is Rose, Jazz's sister." Alice said through it all and directed me to an ice blonde, with cool blue eyes and a stunning Grecian look about her. Her eyes were shrouded in heavy, black kohl, but I think it just made her eyes even deeper, expressive and beautiful. I wonder why there are so many attractive people in the asshole of nowhere, because this girl was a goddess.

"S'up." She said with a nod which I returned, she then turned her attention back to the manuscript in her hands. I perched leisurely on the rack next to her, feeling a little out of place as Alice turned and attached her mouth to Jasper's. I tried not to watch, but it was a little difficult. The moaning, however, made me blush and I turned to Rose to distract myself.

"You act?" I asked a little too loudly, figuring I might as well try to be sociable.

"Hmm," she responded, "but for my class I have to edit this monologue, and I can't write for shit. Seriously, why do I need to know how to write a plot if I just want to act it out?"

"Here," I leant over and circled a line on her page with the pencil she held, "You need to rearrange the speech so that it seems more natural, a monologue is supposed to be personal, you put that there and you defy that point...but if you," I added a line which made sense, and scribbled out the first, "write that, you get marks for restructuring and intuitive thinking, the rest of the marks are for punctuation, spelling, creation and deliverance, which you've got pretty much fucking perfect anyway – that's an A grade piece." Everything was silent for a moment, and I wondered if I'd done it again, fucked up somehow.

I looked up to see another couple of faces looking at me curiously; a boy with short blonde hair, still hanging onto some baby fat around his cheeks, a dark haired boy with a nose ring, an Asian kid with glasses who basically had his nose in a book and a tall, muscular, dark skinned boy with cropped black hair and happy cinnamon eyes. He winked when my gaze lingered on his face and I turned my eyes back to Rose.

"How did you do that?"

"What?" I looked down at her paper and noticed that I'd put small pencil ticks where she would probably gain marks, I hadn't even realised I'd done it. She glared hatefully at the boys staring and they all quickly averted their gaze, Alice however continued to smirk in my direction, whereas Jasper got distracted and started humming up to the sky.

"You graded my paper in, like, ten seconds." I just shrugged, giving her the pencil back and leaning back a little on the metal rack.

"I was home schooled for a while, my tutor always used to mark my work and then tell me how to improve it...I guess I just picked it up. Sorry for scribbling all over your work." I said without looking at her.

I flinched away a little when her fingers wrapped around my chin and forced my face to look at her, I wasn't really comfortable with the touching, and to be honest I never really have been.

"Thanks." A few people gasped a little and I looked up to the boys from before and glared, almost exactly at the same time as Rose did. Both of our glares shrivelled them up and they scampered off around the side of the wall towards the steps to the school.

Rose looked to Alice then and they shared a look. "She'll do." Rose nodded with affirmation and hopped down off of the rack.

"Welcome to the team, Chimes." Jasper spoke with a soft southern accent, which was doused by whatever he had smoked.

"Chimes?"

"Bells chime, Bell...a."

"Right."

**So, Bella's a little odd, she doesn't fit in anywhere that she goes...but it seems as though Forks High is the place for her. Edward's a moody bastard, but isn't that how we like him? **

**Review! **


	3. The Pleasantries of Old English

**A/N So here's another chapter, I'm not sure how long I'm keeping this story up – I have a very short attention span, so I'll try very hard to concentrate towards the continuation of The Freaks and The Greeks. I actually start loads of Fanfics, but I never upload them because I lose interest! I figured if I upload them as I write them, I'll have a reason to keep the chapters coming! **

**This Chapter gives you a little view of Alice's character, and also a little of the mysterious Edward; hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I am not, nor will I ever be, the creator of Twilight. **

**Chapter 3**

**The Pleasantries of Old English**

Rose and Alice walked with me to the front office; Jasper left with a strange bow and then swaggered off down the hall, pulling a fedora out of his bag and placing it jauntily on his head as he did so.

"How long have you been with Jasper?" Rose laughed at my question, throwing her arm around my neck and ruffling my hair a little.

"I love how new you are." She said and I scoffed; that phrase was a first. Both Rose and I were quite ridiculously tall - she topped me by about half an inch – so the kind of short Alice looked tiny next to us both. Yet, she seemed the most full of life and large, because the energy bubbled out of her.

"Jazz and I have known each other since we were six years old, it was kind of a given that we started to date."

"Whoa." I couldn't help my bugging eyes and gaping mouth, "That's a _long_ time to stick to the one guy."

"He's my soul mate; why would I waste time with any other guy, if I've already found The One."

"Oh God." Rose grumbled, "Here comes the speech."

"Well Rose, you're so gorgeous, intelligent and funny you could have anyone but you just don't date, I don't get it, I really don't!"

"Why would I want to commit to a stupid relationship when I can hook up with guys with no strings attached?"

"Amen to that." I said, swiping my palm against hers. Alice looked at me horrified.

"Oh please, not you to! I have to have at least _one_ friend I can talk to boys about! You know what? I hate you both, why don't you just become fucking lesbians." She stormed off then and I stared after her. Good job, Bella, you've lost your very first friend of the day. To my extreme surprise Rose chuckled and continued to lead me down the hall.

"Shouldn't we go after her? To, I don't know, apologise or something?"

"She's not really hurt, she's just really dramatic - that's what makes her Alice. See, Alice could be one of those girls," she nodded her head a little to three girls in cheerleading outfits, one applying lip gloss in the small mirror of her locker and the other two comparing the skin tone of their bare legs – I knew there had to be cheerleaders somewhere, "she's peppy, beautiful and she's likeable. But because she hangs out with Jazz and me, and because of her brother, she's instantly a Freak; I guess she's just dramatic to overcompensate, to give people a reason to separate her from the norm." I saw a stab of guilt shudder through Rosalie, almost as if she thought it was her fault that Alice wasn't in with the popular crowd.

"A freak?" I asked, a little taken aback. Sure, Jasper was a little strange, and Rose's tight black leather pants and heavily made up eyes made her look a little less cheerleader and a little more Satan-worshipping - but they were both really cool. They were kind for talking to me, they were both very attractive, Rose was smart from what I had read of her paper and Jasper was sweet for giving me a nickname.

The fact that Rose didn't want a boyfriend or that Jasper likely took drugs shouldn't have made them unlikeable. Or it shouldn't have by my standard.

"Let's just say that there's an archetypical hierarchy at this school, and if you're not 'normal' per say, you don't make the cut. So, what-cha say, Chimes? Are you a Freak?" The way she said the words made it seem like a much bigger deal than I realised.

...

The morning classes flew past, and by the time I made it to third period Biology I was a little flustered; I'd climbed a whole flight of stairs, only to realise that my class wasn't in this side of the building. I'd almost run the entire way here, and I still managed to be five minutes late.

I crept into the classroom and was instantly thankful that the class hadn't even begun yet. A small, peculiar looking man sat hunched over a desk at the front of the lab; tables stretched back throughout the room, two desks and four students for each row. The room was illuminated by the entire wall of windows on the far side of the classroom. The little man at the front desk gestured me over with a small wave of his hand and I couldn't help but study him as I walked.

With thinning, mousy brown hair and dark, deep set eyes, the man looked as though he had past his prime. His skin was a little sallow looking and his mouth seemed to droop a bit, making his face look quite sad.

"I'm Isabella Swan," I said approaching his desk, "sorry I'm late, I got a little lost."

"That's quite alright," he said picking up a book from in front of him and sticking a white, blank sticker on the front. "My name is Mr Banner; just write your name on there and take this exercise book, Edward – your partner – will fill you in with what to do, I'm sure." So, had the class already began? I looked to the students who were laughing between themselves, sat on each other's desks and not concentrating on any part of their books.

It was only once I was half way to the back desk when I realised that my partner was actually _Edward _Edward, as in 'Furious Red, Alice's brother, Old English' Edward. When I took my seat next to his, I could tell he was about as happy as I was that we now had to spend an hour together every day.

"Great." I heard him murmur as I searched through my bag for my pen.

"What was that?" I asked, innocently as possible. His eyes struck mine hard, it felt like a physical blow. He didn't reply, and I really didn't expect him to.

We sat like that for a moment, I don't think either of us realised we'd been staring flat out at each other until we were interrupted.

"Hey, Chimes." Someone said in a slightly too breathy voice. I looked up and found myself recognising the face a little; it was the chubby blonde from this morning. "I'm Mike."

"Hello." I said, lacking enthusiasm. He smiled and hovered for a second before realising that I wasn't going to say much more. Edward's head snapped to me again, but I chose to ignore it. He was angry again for some reason, did he not like me talking to his friends? Was Mike even his friend?

"So, where you from then?"

"I moved from Phoenix." I said plainly, twirling my pen back and forth over my fingers. I didn't dare explain the whole situation; because after Phoenix I'd lived in a lot of places, like England, and France, and then for a little while Scotland. But Phoenix was the last American state I'd been in, and I'd really rather avoid the ridiculous explanation of my gallivanting mother and her younger boyfriend. There was a moment where he just stared at me, as if anticipating this story.

"Phoenix? Cool, cool. Isn't it, like, hot there?" He'd put his hands down on our table, leaning a little closer. I tried to discreetly sway away from his puffy face. He'd styled his baby soft, blonde hair up all crazily with gel, I thought it looked a little like an attempt at crazy bed hair – a perfect exhibit sitting silently next to me – only on Mike, it looked too forced, and made his otherwise quite cute face look a bit squinty and round.

"Yes."

"You're really pale."

"Well done?" I said, not meaning to sound rude. His face fell a little.

"What I meant to say is that shouldn't you be tanned if you lived in Phoenix?" I think he was generally trying to be nice, and so I bit my sarcastic tongue and tried not to be too much of a bitch.

"I guess I don't really like the sun."

"No, you prefer the rain don't you, Isabella?" It was the first time he had spoken directly to me, and I was quite shocked. I turned my head – a bit too quickly – to glare at him, he'd reminded me why I was pissed at him in the first place. He'd witnessed something personal, and I hated that he knew something about me, when I tried so hard to remain puzzling to others – not necessarily for the mysterious quality, but rather I found I could only trust myself. He had leeway that no other had.

"Then you'll like Forks, huh Old English?" Mike seemed to guffaw with his joke, but I watched as his face froze. Edward pierced his eyes into Mike, his pudgy face turning pale as milk before he scattered away back to his desk.

"Why are you such an asshole?" I asked him, unable to keep my temper in check – yes, Mike was creepy, but I felt a little sorry for him. "He was only trying to be nice." But Edward ignored this, instead staring deep into my eyes.

His expression had changed then, from the first time I had ever seen his face - For a second he looked almost scared, although I'm sure I was mistaken. It was a strange thing to witness; especially considering he had such a strong masculine face. His hard exterior had melted for a moment, and when he spoke his voice was so low and gravelly I almost didn't understand.

"They call you 'Chimes'?" I looked into his beautiful eyes, and found myself utterly baffled. He made no sense.

"Because bells chime." I whispered, feeling stupid as I did so. He let out a little breath of air before pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

The next I knew, sensitive Edward was gone, and his uncaring counterpart had returned; blank, uncaring mask secured over handsome features.

"What the fuck ever." He mumbled and I couldn't help but gasp in surprise.

This boy was an enigma, and I was torn between hating him passionately and wanting to uncover the truth.

**So, what do you think? Why don't you mosey on down to that review button and let me know **


	4. In the Dark

**A/N Hope you all like this new chapter, I like to think this one starts to develop the story a little more.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight **_**so**_** isn't mine.**

**Chapter 4**

**In the dark**

By the time lunch rolled around, my bad mood had heightened entirely. I felt exhausted and lethargic, barely able to move my legs towards the lunch room. Alice had caught up with me after Spanish, linking my arm as if our last parting had been as normal as any other.

"I hope you're ready for this." She said, patting my arm. I was still a little uncomfortable having her so close, but I was beginning to realise that Alice was touchy feely, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings by pulling away.

I wasn't ready; I don't see how I possibly could have been. Such a large amount of hungry teenagers all piling into the one stuffy room; it was surprising how many students there actually were, considering Forks High was quite a small school.

It was hell; noise, smells, bickering, platonic embraces, inappropriate embraces, heat, bodies. When Alice propelled me to the line I grabbed a sandwich – the first thing I saw – and dashed to escape. Everyone seemed to crowd around me.

I tried to see someone I knew, but everyone closed in. I started to breathe a little heavier, and squeezed my eyes shut, begging myself not to have an episode on the very first encounter with the entire student body. I need to open my eyes and calm down; everything will be fine if I just open my eyes.

Two people shoved into me from either side then and I had to stifle a scream and try to balance all at once.

But then my feet were swiped out from under me for a second, someone hoisted me out of the crowd, settling me down. Only once my feet were securely on the ground did I unclench my eyes.

I was met with a face full of hard chest, looking up I saw the man – boy? – grin down at me with an adorable smile that lit up his whole boyish face. His hair was black and curled around his ears and at the top of his forehead. The boy was attractive as hell, and huge. His broad shoulders and intense arms painted him to be some kind of monster, but his handsome face and cute dimples proved his friendliness. A twinkle caught my eye; a small, golden Alpha pin was stuck through his shirt near the collar – It confused me for a moment, why would a boy wear a pin?

"Are you alright, little Chimes?"

"Thanks," I said with a nod, swiping away a little bit of anxious sweat from my forehead, "How is it everyone calls me that?"

"Sweet cheeks, you're a freak now, I'm afraid your reputation was made as soon as you set foot on these grounds. I'm guessing hitching a ride with Fry and Old English didn't exactly set you up for success, but people here can just tell what you're going to be."

"I don't understand," I said, meaning it, "Why is a reputation so important here? And why does everyone keep mentioning 'Freak's?" The man-boy clucked his tongue.

"I'm Emmett," he said, as if I'd asked. This must be Alice's oldest brother then. "They called me Teddy, as in Bear."

"Called? Past tense?" He looked a bit hurt when I asked, as if what I'd said reminded him of something bad. His eyes flicker down for a moment.

"Chimes, when you got here this morning, everyone was looking, everyone was judging. They saw your clothes, your lack of makeup and they noted the fact that you didn't instantly run up to the cheerleaders and beg them to love you. High school is a tough place; it's just a real shame that Forks High is a fucking jungle." He was interrupted then, I had a feeling he could have continued. And, surprisingly, I really wanted him to continue – I needed to know.

"Emmett." Alice's voice said. His emotions were strange when she approached him; almost as if he was happy and sad at the same time.

"Hey, Fry, I was just introducing myself to Chimes here."

"Okay, come on Bella." I'd noticed that Alice had never once called me Chimes, I liked that she had her own name for me.

"Wait, Fry I-" Before Emmett could continue, an arm snaked around his waist and a girl emerged from nowhere.

She was shorter than I was, but her auburn hair was perfectly smooth and straight down past her shoulders and crystal blue eyes twinkled devilishly at us two. Her cheerleading costume left little to the imagination; her toned stomach was paraded and accented by the tube top barely concealing her boobs, and the short layered skirt made sure a generous amount of thigh was on display. I suppose if I had her tiny figure, I would want to flaunt it too. I saw it then, the small pin attached just next to her left breast. Maybe it was a couple thing, something between Emmett and her.

"Emmett, I'm getting lonely." I looked over her shoulder to her discarded seat, right in the middle of the most overcrowded table of guys and girls. "Hi there Alice, nice dress." Emmett looked torn. I couldn't help but glare at the girl before me, knowing that what she had said was anything but an accolade.

"It's gorgeous, isn't it? It's a shame she can't return the compliment, seeing as you showed up to school wearing exactly the same thing as a dozen other girls. Man, that's gotta be awkward." Alice's mouth hung open at me, and for a moment I could see that Emmett was trying his best not to laugh. I punctuated my remark with a small wave at Emmett and the girl, before turning the still stunned Alice and walking away.

Alice woke up enough to direct us to a table full of 'Freaks', I recognised them all from some of my classes and found myself wedged between the dark skinned, muscular boy I'd come to know as Jacob (or Wolf as he was known) and Rose, whom they affectionately referred to as Thorn – I refused, however, to call her anything but Rose.

"You guys," Alice gushed as soon as we sat down, "are never going to believe what Bella just did." I ripped a piece of my disgusting sandwich off and put it in my mouth, shrugging nonchalantly when they all looked for me to retell the story. "It was amazing! Jake, pretend to be Tanya."

"Let me just get into character," I chuckled with the rest of the table as he unbuttoned more than a few buttons of his shirt – revealing a spectacular chest – pretended to flip long hair over his shoulder and pursed his lips. "Okay, go."

The lunch period passed with a lot of laughter, it was strange what a large number of 'freaks' could contribute to a conversation. From what I'd read, a freak was someone on the outside, someone who didn't fit in because they were different, and for a long time I'd considered myself just that. But right now I looked past all of the nose rings, crazy hair, dirty mouths and wild fashion sense and saw all of them coming together, and they were all fantastic in their own way. Suddenly I didn't feel worthy of the title 'Freak', I felt even more out of place and unaccepted than ever before.

I didn't understand why these people sharing jokes with me and treating me as an equal were persecuted and separated for being such wonderful people, whereas people such as Tanya were popular and loved for being spiteful and athletic.

Throughout all of the distraction and confusion of my interaction with all of the new people – friends? – that I had met, I couldn't stop myself from wondering where Edward was. Why he wasn't at lunch and glaring at me and why he had stormed straight out of Biology as soon as it had finished without another word.

...

Last period was advanced wood shop, and after all of my classes I was completely lacking energy. After lunch I had buzzed right through the hallways, but right now I was facing the toll, I was dead on my feet and all but crawling into the dark, dingy room, lit only by a soft, orange blur of a lamp and several dim spotlights on the benches.

The room was full of testosterone, I saw no other females; but I wasn't that shocked, Alice and Rose warned me beforehand that shop consisted of about twelve guys and a sexist, chauvinistic ex-handy man. Rose said she used to take it last year, but swapped for physics and engineering. I loved engineering, but I'd taken Biology and would never catch up if I tried to change now.

I waited patiently by the front bench, watching the man before me in disgust as he devoured a foot long sub far too quickly. His rubbery, dark skin looked like it had seen far too much artificial sun and his eyes were a little sunken back into his head. What surprised me was the long, thick black hair that was tied in a small knot at the base of his neck, shiny and in perfect condition.

"Excuse me, professor Aro?" I asked, trying not to focus on the clump of coleslaw sticking to the side of his mouth.

"Oh, pretty girl, Home economics is right down the hall."

"I'm sure it is. But, I'm definitely in the right class." He looked up at me with squinted eyes.

"We don't really need any dead weight holding us back, I'm sure if you talked to the principle, he could change your class around just like that." He snapped his fingers. "Wha'dya say, sweetie? Home Ec? Poetry? Sewing?" If was expecting a whimper, he was disappointed.

"I'm Isabella Swan, _Chief_ Swan's daughter. So how about this," I snapped, my anger flaring. I leant down across the table, slapping my hand down in front of him, "You cut out the sexist bull crap right this second, or I'll get you fired faster than you can comb back that delightful hair of yours. Wha'dya say?" His reaction, to be honest, was expected. He was a big guy, and obviously not used to getting talked down to, never mind by a girl.

He stood up so fast that his chair flew back and smashed off of the wall. I didn't flinch.

"How dare you! Why, I'm gonna..." But he didn't get to finish his threat, because before he knew it a huge body was smothering my own, nudging me back into someone's hard chest. Two arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back a little, cradling me in a wall of spectacularly smelling boy.

"You're gonna what, sir? Start the lesson already? I know I'm excited to whack out that there Hegner jigsaw, aren't you Old English?"

"Oh, I'm pumped." Edward's chest vibrated behind me, I lay flat against him, not breathing. I turned my head and found myself in line with his chiselled jaw. I couldn't help but look up, where his eyes connected with mine, his skin millimetres from mine.

I snapped my head to look forward to diffuse the awkward moment.

"Right." Mr Aro breathed, trying to peer around the smiling hulk that was Emmett and failing. "Get in your groups. As you're both so _helpful_ today, you can take the chick." Emmett's smile didn't falter; in fact, I'm pretty sure he winked at the obviously furious teacher before strutting across the classroom and passed the rest of the gawping assembly of teenage boys.

I was now face to face with my teacher without my protective wall of Emmett; I made to growl at him but was quickly whisked away by the red head behind me. He towed me over to a bench, hidden from view by a tool rack, it was a secluded little corner, and Emmett was already there, straddling the seat and patting the space in front of him.

"Well," Emmett said, in an exaggerated voice, "How are you liking school so far?" Then he smirked up at me. I rolled my eyes, sliding down onto the bench in front of me.

"It's just so full of friendly, happy people. What's not to like?" I looked up at Edward as an example, and smiled sweetly. He did not look happy.

"Did you have to do that? Aro's probably gonna knock down our grade, thanks. How could you possibly talk to a teacher like that, on your first day? For fucks sake, Isabella." I am surprisingly hurt by his words, although he does seem to be ridiculously overreacting, like by getting myself into trouble I've somehow jeopardized my safety.

"Stop being such a baby, Old English, sit the fuck down." Emmett's tone was still cheerful as he ran a piece of sand paper over the edge of what looked like the roof of a bird house.

"Emmett," Edward snapped as if he didn't have any right to talk to him in any sort of commanding tone, he received a glare. Emmett looked scary when he glared; his normal face was cute, but his angry face was hell. I shuddered.

"Sit down." He said in an even voice, and Edward did so without even wavering. There was something commanding about Emmett, something in his voice that showed him as a natural born leader. Or maybe it was just the older sibling thing.

"Wazzup, bitches, wha'd I miss?" Jasper sloped over to us with immeasurable swag. Emmett's fist pounded with his and Edward and he shared a nod.

"Chimes here was almost smushed by the beast that is Aro, luckily we had her back." Emmett's happy side was back again, and the serious slant to his features had smoothed away. I'm unexpectedly relieved.

"Uh, hate to burst your bubble broseph, but if I wandered obliviously into a showdown with the ol' cap'n ballsack, I'd want that little firecracker on my side over you, Chimes is a feisty mother fucker." What little he knows, I can't help but think. He slaps his palm across mine and I can't help but smirk at Emmett whose face falls into a kind of pout.

"Don't encourage her." Edward scolds with a frown, as he rests an elbow on his upright knee and measures across a slab of wood with his other hand.

"Why don't you go to hell, gramps?" At this I pick up the hammer from the tool rack sheltering our little circle and flip it expertly around and into my other hand. "Now, who wants to be a good boy and tell me what's going on here?"

"Well, you see, this is a screw driver, this is a screw and this right here is wood."

"You're hilarious." I respond to the sarcastic Edward as dryly as I can. I flip the hammer again and his eyes follow the movement. "You all know what I'm talking about." Emmett seems suddenly preoccupied with a level and Jasper seems to be singing to himself, Edward is the only one left looking at me. "What is this school's obsession with popularity? Or cliques? Or whatever the hell this is?" I sound a little desperate as the words rush out, but I can't help it, I _have_ to understand.

The three boys share a look, Jasper even looks relatively serious for a moment - the first time since our meeting that I have experienced this expression. It doesn't suit him.

"Look, Isabella-" Edward starts, but a drowsy yet almost prophetic voice interrupts.

"Chimes, you're already in further than you think and once the blinders come off, you're gonna wish you'd lay back in the dark just a second longer." For some reason this shocks me, scares me almost, and coming from Jasper's worryingly intelligent, laid back drawl, it feels like I need to hide like a pathetic little girl.

Suddenly the day seems like it has been far too long and if it doesn't rain tonight I think I might spontaneously combust.

**I would have been beaten by my parents if I'd ever spoken to a teacher like that; but it works for my fic, and its part of Bella - you'll find her true nature starts to unravel throughout the story. **

**Review and let me know what you think.**


	5. The Calm Before The Storm

**A/N Hey guys, here's another chapter for you, let me know how you're liking the story. The Freaks and The Greeks is a way of procrastinating my college work; I seem to be doing a great job of that so far...**

**Disclaimer: Okay, you got me, I'm Stephenie Meyer...Oh, no, wait...That was a dream. Awkward.**

**Here we go...**

**Chapter 5**

**The Calm Before The Storm**

The dark comes quickly here in Forks, and it's sudden too – like someone has thrown a huge dark blanket over the town. Luckily for me, the rain was as reliant as the night and by the time I had finished writing the first of my English essay, it was progressing from an easy rattling to a heavy drum beat against my roof. Essays on the first day were torture, and yet English was my forte, I figure I'd get it completed long before the deadline so that I could relax later.

I pulled up the blinds and unlatched the windows letting them both swing wide open. Once I had hopped out I closed them again, trapping part of my deep blue curtain in the gap so that I could get back inside. Once settled on the ever-so-slightly sloping roof, I stared up at the sky and let myself absorb the water.

Except something wasn't right. I propped myself up on my elbows and stared through into the window opposite me; there was a ledge just like mine, maybe a little shorter, and one wide window. I wondered suddenly why he wasn't out on his roof enjoying the night, but then I remembered the rain and how most people don't share my obsession with it.

His window was dark, I could only make out random shapes, shadowed objects. I needed to know if he was there. Watching, like before. I suddenly felt self-conscious, and so I fell back and closed my eyes again, willing the rain to wash away any thoughts or feelings, because right now I couldn't deal with either of them.

...

I only manage to knock two times before the door swings out of my reach. My hand hovers in the air for a moment, before I drop it to my side.

"Alice is on the phone," He avoids my eyes and chooses to look at my Run DMC long sleeved shirt instead, "You can, you know..." He gestures back into the house with his hand, and with only a slight moment of hesitation I comply.

"Nice house." I say and mean it, because someone has clearly gone to some extreme effort to ensure everything looks rustic, expensive and warm all at the same time. He doesn't, however, respond to this, so I just awkwardly wander down the hall to look at the pictures I assume are of Edward and Alice as kids.

But long fingers wrap around my wrist and drag me back; I stumble around and suddenly I'm almost chest to chest with Edward. I realise how heavily I'm breathing and yet I can't physical stop myself.

I don't dare blink, because his eyes boring into mine hold me captive. We stand like this for a moment, and I don't know whether I should be afraid or not - the boy is clearly psychotic. An unexpected hand draws lightly across my cheek and tucks my hair behind my ear, I can't help but shiver at his touch and I hate the lack of control I have over my body under this crazy boys gaze.

"Promise me," he whispers then and it's like a shock to my system, I try to step back and away but he follows and now my back is up against the wall, and suddenly I'm trapped and all too close to him. His fingers lift my chin to connect back with his eyes, and I wonder then what kind of hypnotising magic he is performing to keep me from screaming for help. "Promise me you'll stay safe." I don't know how to respond, so we stand for a silent moment longer.

"I don't think my safety is any of your concern." I whisper back, when I find my voice. I'm finding that this was probably the wrong answer, because suddenly he's narrowed his eyes and leaning closer. But then he sighs and presses a palm up against the wall behind me, leaning his forehead dejectedly on his arm. He's so close, his wild hair brushes my cheek.

"Believe me," he replies, not looking up, "you have no idea-" but he stops himself, and his palm against the wall turns into a fist.

"Edward." I mutter, because I'm not really sure what's going on. He looks up and in that moment he's so very close, his lips are right there and I find that his creepy, magically hypnotic ways seem to be drawing me even closer. The fingers around my wrist slacken and his hand skims slowly up my arm and around my elbow. I open my mouth to speak but no words come out, I'm not sure what to say.

"Edward!" It's not me that screams his name, but it's enough to send us both darting apart. I hit the wall behind me so hard that the picture frames shudder and I'm breathing so heavily that I feel slightly dizzy.

Alice stood in the entrance to what I can only assume is the kitchen at the end of the hall - But she doesn't look shocked, or hold a telltale presumptuous smirk like I expected. Instead she looks deeply upset, and I wonder if somehow I have offended her. I consider apologising, but blurting out 'I'm sorry for standing so close to your brother' seems like something a crazy person would say.

I'm starting to seriously doubt my sanity.

The next words out of her mouth are unexpected, and seem to hit Edward like a train. Not that I dare look at him for longer than a glance.

"They got Wolf." Is all she says before her restraint breaks and the tears are flowing down her face.

...

The Prodigy doesn't accompany us on the way to school today, instead we sit in silence. It should be awkward, but for some reason the anger, sadness, suspense and confusion floating in the vehicle from each of us seemed to make conversation pointless and unnecessary.

When Alice gets out of the car, Jasper is there and his arms are around her before the door is even shut. Once again I'm in the car alone with _him_, but this time I don't escape as quickly as I probably should.

"You're not coming in today, are you?" I don't know how I know; something about his posture tells me that he's not getting out of this car.

"I'll be back at half three to pick you up." For some reason I didn't really expect him to reply.

"I'll find a lift back if-"

"I'll be here at half three." So I just get out of the car, not bothering to deal with him when he's all snappy.

"Wait." The window's scrolled down, so I turn back and lean against the door. "You didn't promise." He says, looking up with both frustration and somewhat desperation. I jerk between his moods like a ball on a tennis court and for some reason I feel angry at how his mood affects mine.

"I don't owe you anything." I hiss for some reason and then turn violently away from the boy with the fathomless, furious eyes. A few seconds later I hear his wheels screech brutally as he metaphorically storms out of the parking lot.

The atmosphere is different today. I watch everyone, trying to pinpoint what has changed. Jasper holds Alice with a protective arm around her shoulders, her other hand is tightly laced around mine, her nails slightly digging into my knuckles.

The group seems to have doubled in size, all of the Freaks together. I immediately zone in on Rose and for some reason her hand slips around my waist.

It's like everyone is mourning, and I really don't understand. I realise then that nobody is talking, at least not loudly. It's like everyone is scared and passionately angry all at the same time, a wave of danger seems to pulse from our crowd.

"Rose," I lean across to whisper in her ear, because it feels as though I should be respectful of the quiet, "I don't understand. What happened to Wolf?" She's like me, she doesn't cry – like Alice – when she is hurt. She holds it back, but I can see the pain in her eyes. She leans in closer to whisper back, I can feel her breath against my ear, and her words seem almost haunting.

"Jake was jumped. The Greeks broke the rules - that means we retaliate. When one Freak is attacked, we're _all_ attacked. This is the calm before the storm." I gulp, looking at the unity around me, suddenly very afraid. I didn't sign up to be a part of some high school war.

I think of Jacob, the beautiful, muscled, dark skinned boy, who had made me laugh and smiled so bright it almost hurt. All of a sudden I was angry, it hadn't hit me before, but something just snapped. Jake was _attacked._ And badly hurt by the reaction it was getting. Someone was responsible, and they had to pay.

"The blinders are off now, Chimes, I hope you're ready." Jasper pecks my cheek, but it's not strange because it seems like something he would do. Alice stays limp at his side, her fingers twisted around the front of his shirt as if he might disappear.

"Stick together, my brothers and sisters. In war, we are stronger together." It should have been cheesy the way that Jasper calls out to the group, like a priest in a sermon and yet just like a congregation everyone starts to yell back.

It's like the first reverberation of thunder.

Except to me, it sounds more like a battle cry and I realise just what he meant – I'm in way deeper than I first knew, and I hope to God that I'm ready for the approaching storm.

...

By lunch I've realised that I'm being followed.

"What do you want?" I find myself screeching, rather hysterically, as I turn and snap at the three boys tailing me. All of them stop with a jump; it would have been funny if I wasn't so annoyed.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you okay?" I look at the three of them incredulously.

"Why the hell are you following me?"

"What do you mean?" It's Mike that asks this and I slump my head down in annoyance; Rose told me everyone calls him tadpole, and I assumed this was in relation to his last name, Newton. However, Rose seems to think it has something to do with his underdevelopment and, um, sliminess.

"Chimes, you're new, but that doesn't mean you're not exempt from the rules." I look up at them from under my eyebrows and sigh in annoyance.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What rules?" They all seem to be placating me, like a child. They seem to be withdrawing information and trying to get me to understand all at the same time. It's belittling and quite frankly irritating as hell.

"Didn't you hear Tex earlier?" Tex? I can only assume that's Jasper, though I think he suits something a little more, um, green. Like, I don't know, Ganja?

"Yeah, he said something about sticking together in war."

"Well," the boy next to him says, "look around you, sweetie," coming from the boy with the fluorescent pink fohawk and the green eye shadow, this term of endearment is a little disturbing, "_this_ is the war. So we have to stay in groups. Tex told us to look after you, so that's what we're doing."

I start to argue, slightly exasperated and yet flattered at Jasper's concern, but before I can even come up with a sarcastic retort an arm has snaked around my neck.

"At ease, soldiers, I come in peace." Rose says mockingly, eliciting a chuckle from me and a scowl that's almost identical on each of the three faces in front of me. "I'll take it from here guys."

"As much as we accept – and lamentably fear - your brutality and all around viciousness, Tex told us to look out for her and that's what we're going to do."

"Oh, _that's_ what you're going to do, is it?" She says, and suddenly her voice is ice cold. "That's so funny, I was _so_ sure that you guys were going to tuck your tails between your legs, scurry away and do as I fucking tell you to do." The arm around me clenches, and I'm delighted and terrified at the same time.

"Look Thorn-" the last guy begins, and I suddenly wonder if he's very brave or ridiculously stupid.

"Go!" She screams, and I jump out of my skin, but they leave just as I probably would.

"Oh my God, I think my heart just stopped." She chuckles at this, and suddenly she's cool Rose again. But I would _hate _to see her mad at me that's for sure. "What was that all about?"

"Oh, I'm bored. I just needed to scare someone – it, you know," she flaps around with her free hand, trying to describe what she's feeling, "_sooths_ me."

"You," I say pointing at her, "are a crazy bitch."

"That is so sweet." She replies with her hand to her heart.

...

Lunch isn't the same without Jake, nobody is laughing like they should be, and the tension is _killing_ me. I realise that I have to get some information out of someone, and I know exactly who that needs to be, but I just don't know how I'm going to do it yet.

I sit and eat my sandwich, thinking over the last dramatic day and a half in Forks; I've been to a _lot_ of places – this comes as a package deal when your mother is, quite frankly, a gallivanting whore – but this place was the strangest of all.

I'd never been to a proper high school before, being home schooled made me a little introverted and antisocial, but I had made some friends out and about, and eventually had endured parties where my inebriated mind let me allow boys to grope me and let myself have some life experiences. I've made a _lot_ of mistakes, but I refuse to regret anything because every wrong that I've done has taught me a lesson. Except this is my first real experience of teenage hierarchy and its pretty God damn terrifying.

I watch him leave out of the corner of my eye, it surprises me that he isn't followed, considering his friends, but he leaves alone. So I stand up and go after him, but a voice stops me.

"Where are you going, Bella?"It's Alice, she sounds different, a little depressed.

"I'm just going to grab my notes from my locker."

"You know, you really shouldn't go alone." She says, and for some reason I think she can tell I'm lying.

"I'll be careful." I find myself whispering without actually knowing why.

"I really like you Bella." She says then, and touches my arm. Of all of the years of being ignored by both of my parents, I seem to be getting more skin to skin contact than I have in the last seventeen years of my life.

"I really like you too, Alice."

"I'm glad." She says with a small smile, "I'm getting a ride back to Jasper's after school, I hope that's okay." She doesn't give me a chance to respond because she returns to the table and into Jaspers lap. I don't dwell on the fact that I'll be alone in the car with Edward this afternoon.

I have to hurry to catch up with him now, my conversation was short, but somehow he had managed to get to the other side of the corridor. Luckily I managed to spot him right before he turned left and up the stairs. I almost sprinted down the relatively empty hallway, diving up the stairs and taking them two at a time.

I see him right before he walks past the open janitors closet and so I do what any crazy person would do and dash right up to him, tackling him into the small, dark room, kicking the door shut behind me.

We both crash into the back wall, and what I can only assume is cans of cleaning produces rattle and tumble off of their shelves. Hitting Emmett is like body slamming a brick wall, he's all muscle not to mention about 6'4" so I end up cradling my side and swearing like a sailor as my whole body stings.

"What, in all that is fucking holy, was that?" He asks, in a sort of whisper shout. I'm not sure he realises it's me yet, because he sounds like he's ready to take down his assailant.

"Emmett, it's me, Bella. Um, Chimes. Alice's friend, y'know?"

"Chimes," He sounds a little relieved, and eventually my eyes are beginning to adjust and I can basically see him, leaning against the back wall. "I don't know if you're amazing or a God Damn psycho. Do you know even some guys on the football team struggle to take me down? I mean, I get it, you're tall, but you must bench, like, twice your weight."

"Shut up! Look, you know what I want to know, and you're trying to confuse me with idle nonsense-"

"I was actually genuinely impressed." He interrupts but I ignore him.

"What happened to Jake? Who are the Greeks? Why is everyone acting like its World War 3? Why do you wear an Alpha pin? Why is Alice taking all of this personally? Why did Edward skip today? Why does everyone listen to Jasper? Why does everyone have a nickname? Why are you-" His huge hand snaps over my mouth and I'm actually kind of glad because I was seriously losing my breath.

"Bella," He says, and I notice he's not calling me 'Chimes', "I can't answer all of your questions, at least not now."

"But-"

"Look, give me your number." He whips out his phone, and for some reason I'm not surprised that it's the latest IPhone. I rattle off my digits and he saves them. "I'll text you tonight and tell you everything you need to know."

"Emmett, you'd better, otherwise-"

"I know. I know you need to know. It's just Edw-"

"Edward? Edward what? What did he do?"

"Nothing, forget about it." He goes to open the door but I lean back against it.

"Did he tell you not to tell me what's going on?" I sound a little frantic; he looks at my eyes and seems to be biting his tongue in anxiety.

"I don't know what you've done to him, but it must have been pretty fucking spectacular." Is all he says before he literally picks me up, spins me around and leaves me alone in the dark closet.

In this moment I hate Edward even more than usual; he switches the light on when I'm trying to find solace in the rain, he's rude to me, he acts like an asshole to everyone...and he touches me and it's like he's set my skin on fire and all I want to do is move away but for some reason I keep getting pulled in, like a magnet. Then he tells everyone to keep me in the dark about things that are apparently really important and it makes me feel like he's dying to make me stay an outsider, like I haven't had enough loneliness already.

I leave the closet knowing less than when I went in, it's rather infuriating to be honest. My head is so full of questions that I don't realise I'm alone until I wander straight past a group of people talking. I don't turn my head to look at them, but I hear them whispering and I know that they are _not_ friends.

"...new...Swan...Chimes..."

"...like a symbol..."

"...never expect it..."

I keep my head straight and pick up my pace, not stopping until I'm two floors away from them and in a corridor full of people, yet still my heart pounds like it's about to beat right out of my chest.

...

He's waiting when I walk out, Jasper is right next to me and I wait until Alice is with him before I leave.

"I'll see you later, Bella."

"In a bizzle, Chimes."

There's an awkward moment when I head towards the back door of his car, the window scrolls down and with a pointed glance from the driver I turn and walk toward the passenger side. I give Alice a small wave before I get in and hope that this ride won't be as painful as I expect it to be.

"Put your seatbelt on."

"You're all about the safety, aren't you." As dry as my response is, I still comply.

He doesn't speak again for another good five minutes.

"How was Alice today?" I don't look at him; instead I continue to stare at the trees as they whiz past.

"Sad. _Really_ fucking sad actually. Why is that? Are she and Jacob close?" He takes a minute to think of an answer, so I get bored of waiting and continue. "Oh, is that one of the questions that I'm not allowed an answer to?"

"What are you talking about?" Except he knows exactly what I'm talking about, so I tighten my palms into fists in frustration.

"Did you go and see Jake today?" Still no answer. "I want to see him. My dad told me last night that we used to hang when we were kids." No response. "Edward! For fucks sake!" I look at him now, glaring at his profile, and hating how perfect it is. One hand runs through his hair whilst the other grips the wheel.

"What is your obsession with him?" I just look at him like he's crazy.

"The guy got beaten up – he's a nice guy, why am I not allowed to care about that?"

"Well, why were you mentioning him to the Chief anyway?" I really don't understand where he's going with this.

"Charlie asked how my first day went; I happened to mention everyone that had been nice to me. Oh no wait, that's a lie, because I mentioned you!" We sit in silence for a moment, and I tried to control my heaving anger that seemed to be bubbling up the more the boy opened his mouth.

"You are _not_ going to see him." This breaks me.

"Fine. I'll get Tadpole to take me." I flip out my phone and scroll through the names, in Biology Mike had decided that because Edward wasn't there, it would be perfectly okay to snatch my phone and enter his number, consequently phoning his own and getting mine.

Sneaky little bastard I'll give him that.

Just as I'm about to press the green button - not exactly sure of what I'm going to say as I was merely using Mike as a way of pissing off Edward – my phone flies out of my hand and I'm pressed up against Edwards arm as he performs a very illegal and kind of thrilling U-turn in the middle of the road. It's lucky that there are no other cars around.

I'm left panting from the shock and push myself as quickly away from his warm arm as I can, the skin of his forearm had brushed against my hand and I couldn't take the fact that I quite liked it.

"What happened to fucking safety?"

"Oh," He says glancing over at me with an innocent look, "I thought you wanted to go see _Jake._" He spits his name and I don't really understand why, hadn't he been spending the whole day with him? Wasn't he his friend?

"I just want to see if he's okay."

"Well, I could have told you that just fine. He's perfectly okay; in fact he's remarkably facetious for someone with a broken rib, a bust lip and two black eyes." Holy Jesus, he sure took a beating and considering how ripped he is – yes, I did peek at his arms, I'm only human – there must have been quite a few of them to take him down.

"So, that's why they call you Old English." He looks to the roof of his car and sighs heavily.

"And what cynical assumption have you made."

"When you get carried away, you talk like a pretentious, stuck up jackass. All holier than thou." He gives a sort of derisive laugh at this but doesn't deny it.

We sit in silence for the rest of the ride; I know that Charlie won't be in until late, so I don't have to worry about calling him to let him know where I am. Well, not that I know where I am exactly.

"Where are we?" I ask, because I feel I have to, just as Edward pulls into a gravelled patch of land.

"This is the reservation, it's where Wolf lives. Well, go on. It's the blue house to the right."

"You're...you're not coming in?" I ask, trying not to sound nervous. He smirks at me, as if he can sense it. I hate that his smirk makes me lose my breath.

"I've seen enough of him for one day, thanks."

"I don't understand, do you not like him?" He does that sarcastic laugh thing again that pisses me off. Why would he come and see if he's okay if he hates the guy? And why does he hate him? He seems nice.

I open the door and start to get out, "You _are_ going to be here when I get back, right?" he swings his head over to me and studies my face for a moment.

"You really think that I would leave you alone?" I'm honestly not sure, so I just shrug and get out of the car, walking cautiously towards the house Edward had pointed out. I make sure that I don't look back, though I do listen out for wheels on gravel.

I knock on the door and wait about two minutes before a softly tanned woman, with a long jet black woven braid over one shoulder and a white cooking apron tied around her waist opens it.

"Can I help you, child?" She says, and her voice is soft like a chant.

"I go to school with Jacob; I just wanted to see if he was alright."

"Mom," I hear a familiar voice whine from inside the house somewhere, sounding like a petulant little boy. Jake's a mamma's boy. "Do we have any casserole left?" The woman chuckles, and I can help but smile at her. She has a worn in face, but she is rather beautiful, in an unearthly kind of way.

"Here, child," She pulls me inside by the wrist and hands me a dish that instantly warms up my palms. "Second door on the left." She then glides back into her kitchen humming to herself as I gaze after her. I look from the steaming plate in my hands to the door, and decide there's nothing left to do but go and see him.

But now I'm suddenly wondering why I'm here. Sure, I'd felt very passionately about him being hurt, but I think I'm suddenly realising that I'm visiting him for entirely selfish reasons. I want to ask him questions about what happened, and I'm feeling very guilty at this realisation.

"What took so long? I'm Starv-" He stops mid sentence, and I watch him blush as he realises I'm not his mother. Apparently the blush is contagious because I take in his stupid freaking buff, semi naked form and find myself looking at the ceiling tiles as he scrambles to pull up a blanket. "Hey."

"Hello there." I say and sit at the bottom of his bed, passing him his meal which he accepts with thanks. "What happened to your pretty face?" I try to make a joke out of it, because I'm not really sure what else I can do.

"Ah, you know how jealousy is." He says is an 'aw shucks' kind of mannerism, "I mean, what did God expect? He spent so long on this masterpiece; he should have known it would elicit some kind of brawl."

"So you're the Helen of Forks?"

"I'm betting my face could launch at _least_ a thousand ships." I'm glad we're bantering, because I'm struggling to look at the boy without gasping. His face is swollen badly and I can tell it hurts him that he's smiling, but he's doing it anyway and it makes me happy.

"I guess you're wondering what I'm doing here."

"Not really, no. I'm guessing you were just ridiculously attracted to me - after one day you've fallen completely in love with me and couldn't _bear_ that I'd been hurt."

"And I'd have to be guessing that you'd been taking a whole bunch of crack." He chuckles at this. "I just came to see how you were doing." I say and find myself shuffling closer to him, he seems to radiate warmth.

"I'm dandy, although if you wanted to play nurse, I really wouldn't mind."

"As tempting as _that_ is, it looks like your mommy is looking after you."

"Hey, her baby boy got hurt. I said to her 'Woman, I'm a man, I don't need you to cook my dinner, or wash my clothes, or pass me the TV remote' but she just wouldn't have it. I just have to put up with her I'm afraid."

"I can tell you're living in constant torture." I say with a gaze around his room, which is decked out with DVD's, books, a huge TV and an Xbox.

"Well then, out with it."

"Excuse me?"

"Your questions, what would you like to know?"

"How did you-"

"Oh, please, as if Edward's not-so-subtle warning wasn't enough, I know that you couldn't have felt such a strong bond to someone you'd met briefly - As charming as I am." I look down at my hands, which are winding around his patchwork quilt.

"I really did want to see how you were doing."

"I know." He says, with a pretty self confident smile.

"So what did Edward say?" I ask instantly, so fast that he chuckles a little.

"He thinks that you might be a target – or at least I think that's what he's playing at, because I'm not high up in his ranks so he doesn't tell me things straight up. I hear things as they travel down the line, not from the source." I gulp.

"There are ranks?"

"Haven't you noticed? Who do you think is in charge? Who does everyone listen to? Who is everyone afraid of?"

"Well that would be Jazz,"

"Good ol' Tex."

"Rose,"

"Yes, Thorn is one icy bitch." He receives a slap to his arm for that one.

"And Edward."

"Sure, but don't be forgetting about little Fry."

"Alice?" I'm pretty shocked, she seemed dramatic but somehow reserved sometimes.

"You just caught her on a bad day I'm sure. You saw her yesterday, she just takes things pretty to heart."

"Why does she do that exactly, take things so personally."

"It's just Alice, she's all about extremes. Hey, maybe she's bipolar, I don't know. She doesn't like what goes on, so when one of us gets hurt – which is ridiculously frequent apparently – she sees it as a personal attack. Don't worry your pretty little head about it though, she'll be back tomorrow. I can only assume she went home with Tex tonight? Yeah, he calms her down and she gets right back on the horse. It is kind of flattering though."

"You should have seen it; it was like out of a movie or something. It seemed like everyone was mourning. Then Jasper calls out something about war and everyone screams like they're ready to avenge your honour or something." He smiles his painful smile at me again. "Why was Edward here today?"

"Yeah, maybe you got the impression that we're not the best of buddies? The guy scares the fuck out of me, but the fact that I try not to whimper when he looks at me makes him hate me or something. Maybe it's that jealously thing again."

"Ah, maybe."

"But yeah, it's like the duty of one of them to visit, stay with us, make sure we're okay. But most importantly to find out every single detail of what happened; where it was, who was there, who threw the first punch, who found me and so on."

"Why did they do this to you?" I can't keep the sympathy out of my voice this time, and he flinches at it.

"Well, that kind of brings me to the major point here, the thing you're probably wondering about." I shuffle a little in anticipation. "Ever since the separation – the Freaks and the _Greeks_," he growls the word but I pretend not to notice, "There's been a sort of gang rivalry. Everyone refers to it as a war because it gets pretty God Damn serious. For example, exhibit A," He points to his busted up face, "you see, everything cools down for a while once the authorities get involved, but then a few weeks later one of us or one of them gets hurt and everything starts up again. It's kind of like a sport, a really painful one that you never signed up for or wanted to take part in."

"Are there no neutral people at Forks High? No Team Switzerland's floating around? Somehow I've managed to land myself smack bang in the middle of the Freaks – and don't get me wrong, I wouldn't choose anyone else - But that's just the thing, I didn't get to choose." I look up at him and his cinnamon eyes seem to dance a little.

"Chimes, I'm sorry but you did choose. Your sense of humour, your clothes, your hair," he plays with one dark, curly lock. "You're a Freak. You just haven't embraced it quite yet." We stare at each other for a moment, before I look down at my watch and realise that I've stayed longer than I wanted to. I stand up and give him a friendly pat on the arm. I want to stay and know more, but I'm worried Edward will be getting irritated and I'm hoping Emmett will answer a lot of my questions tonight.

"Wait, before I go, when you said that Edward thinks I might be a target, what exactly did you mean?" Suddenly his face is very serious, and his hand reaches out and touches mine.

"They won't ever hurt you, Chimes." I breathe deeply with a forced smile. "Now, don't you worry, I'll be pretty again soon enough."

"You'll be launching ships in no time." He chuckles and then I leave, giving his mom a wave before I let myself out.

It's only once I'm inside the car that I let my breath out and look towards Edward. His eyes are closed and his breathing is steady; I've never seen him like this, calm, peaceful. He looks younger and more innocent. I didn't realise it was possible for him to look more attractive, but apparently he can manage it in his sleep.

"_...new...Swan...Chimes..."_

"_...like a symbol..."_

"_...never expect it..." _

Their words run through my head and suddenly I feel like I need to hold Edward's hand - I don't of course, because that would be weird.

"_Promise me you'll stay safe." _

"_Tex told us to look after you, so that's what we're doing."_

"_You really shouldn't go alone." _

All day everyone had been looking out for me, I just hadn't realised. People I didn't know had sat down next to me in classes, there was nearly always a group of people nearby that I could feel safe talking to – the only time I had been alone was when Alice had caught me going after Emmett, and that was only because I assume Alice trusts Emmett enough not to hurt me.

What if I am a target?

Okay, so I'm a black belt – not that I'll _ever_ tell anyone about Renee's obsession with martial arts as a way of calming me down – but that would hardly be enough to fight off a group of huge teenagers. I could maybe get one or two, but they would just keep coming, and I would lose.

Maybe I needed a beating. Maybe it would make me tougher.

But now I'm thinking crazy things.

I'm suddenly wondering how many others have been hurt; if every time one side is hurt the other retaliates then a lot of people must get involved. Why don't the teachers do anything about it? Surely they know what's going on!

It's getting too much and I'm suddenly hyperventilating, I think of Jacob's face, of his strong body and how damaged he managed to get. Then I look down at myself and my breathing becomes so rugged that it's hurting my throat and my eyes are watering. I'm having a panic attack, and I don't know how to stop it.

Long fingers wrap around the back of my head and pull me forwards, and I bury my face in Edward's neck. He doesn't say anything, he just twists his fingers in my hair, his other hand stroking lazily up my spine. I hold on to the back of his neck and the front of his shirt whilst my body wracks with the quick, shallow breaths. On the bright side, smelling Edward seems to be slightly therapeutic and although I must seem completely and utterly crazy, as I sit on my knees on the seat of his car, half dragged over to his side and shaking us both, he doesn't seem to mind as he just sits and holds me.

**Review, my pretties. **


	6. She's a Freak After All

**A/N I know this one's a bit weird, but I actually loved writing this chapter. I've got a little Charlie in here – don't judge him too harshly. I've let Bella kind of explode in this one, because I really wanted to get some more of her personality out there; she also seems a little obsessive about Edward, but she's kind of just starting to see him as more than someone pretty that annoys her. I've let Emmett explain some stuff; get some of the background info out of the way. And we have a little Tanya 'interaction' – she's always the bad guy, I just can't help myself! **

**Hope you like it, review and let me know!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, I wouldn't be in my room fanaticising about owning Twilight. **

**Chapter 6**

**She's a Freak after all**

He gives me a small smile which I return before shutting my blinds and shutting out his face completely. The car ride back had been strange enough, and now as soon as I go into my room there he is, his face right there. We were both reaching to shut the shutters on our respective windows and we had caught each other's eye – it was quite ridiculous actually and I was a little freaked out that he was right there, no more than four metres away, and here I was in a long football shirt and no bottoms.

I hadn't dared looked at what he was wearing, just in case he was shirtless and I would have fallen straight through my window and tumbled down into the bushes below.

Great, now I'm thinking about him shirtless.

I don't know what to make of Edward; there's the rude guy – Old English – the angry guy – furious red – and then there's the sweet guy that's trying to look out for me, and strokes my hair until my body stops shaking like a mental patient, who I can only assume must be just Edward. The more I encounter Edward, the more I seem to be drawn to him – but then he pisses me off with his moods and I can't help but hate him again.

I tuck myself into bed, set my alarm and switch my lamp off.

I'd like to get to know real Edward, I'm just afraid that Old English or Furious Red will push me away.

A strange beeping pulls my thoughts away from Edward, and I'm kind of glad because as unearthly gorgeous as the boy is, he is undeniably confusing and is seriously starting to make my head hurt.

It takes me a minute to realise that it's my phone beeping, and suddenly there's a huge lump in my throat, and I'm nervous.

I sit up and reach for my phone.

_**1 new Text Message**_

Holy fuck, finally. I thought he'd forgotten, or for some reason avoided contacting me. But it was him.

_**Wht do u want to knw?**_

I save his number under Emmett and then type quickly and furiously, asking my first question.

_**About time! So, Whts with th nicknames? **_

I only have to wait a few second before my phone beeps again.

_**Srry its late, hd a thing I hd to do. Only Freaks have nicknames, to symbolise individuality nd at th same time friendliness nd a familial bond btween each othr**_

I consider this; I suppose it seems reasonable.

_**Wht bout th Greeks?**_

This time I have to wait longer, I pass the time by throwing my phone up into the air and catching it.

_**We're cld th Greeks caus we're suppsd to b prfct, it strtd out as a popularity thng, being a Greek showd u wer smrt nd well likd. We wear gold alpha pins to shw how we're a unity nd all equal. Whn we startd to tke over th school, th Freaks decided they wntd theyr own respct bcause they wer sick of th preferential treatment th Greeks get.**_

_**Why do th groups hurt each othr? **_

_**Ther was alwys rivalry, but we mstly left each othr alone. Until a few years ago a Greek got hurt, they blamed it on a Freak nd thn retaliated. It kind of blossmd frm ther. **_

_**Why doesn't th school do anythn bout it?**_

_**Th school startd th Greeks, its kind of ther fault in th first place. Bsides, cn u imagine tryin to separate th loyalty each persn has to theyr respective group? Ther would be a riot. I thnk th teachers thnk we mght band tgther nd turn on them, so they jst turn a blind eye. Sme teachers evn hav a side – look at Mr Aro, th only reason Edward, Jazz nd me pass is bcause Im a Greek. **_

_**But why r u a Greek? Didnt u usd to b Teddy? Wht chngd? **_

For a couple of minutes I wait, thinking maybe I asked too much, and that perhaps what I was asking wasn't any of my business. But sure enough my phone buzzed.

_**I cnt b a Freak if Im with Tanya, I wouldn't get as mch respct on th football field so I wouldn't b captain, nd I gt xtra points fr my grades bcause the Greeks ar prt of a school progrm **_

_**So u jst quit th Freaks? **_

I'm suddenly kind of disappointed in Emmett; he's basically saying that he left his friends – not to mention his family – for a girl, a sport and a few extra points. It doesn't seem like him.

_**I got wht I needed.**_

_**U needed a girl nd a role as captain? **_

_**What I got is worth being a Greek. Goodnight, Chimes. **_

I don't text back, because quite frankly I'm pissed at him and if I was Alice or Edward, I probably wouldn't talk to him. He abandoned his friends for fuck all, and I had lost all respect for the boy.

...

Jake was right, as soon as I knocked on the door it was bubbly Alice again.

"Bella! Aloha! Come in, come in. Would you like some coffee? I've already had three cups, but it doesn't really matter, right? To be honest, I don't even think it has that much affect, I hardly feel more awake than I usually do. Maybe it's like a placebo; you just _think_ it's going to make a difference, so it does. But I'm a little sceptical. So...Coffee?" She raises the mug to her mouth but I swipe it out of her hands, and she uses her tongue to chase it as far as she can until I've got it out of her reach.

"I think you've had enough." She just shrugs and pulls me inside the house, shutting the door with her heel as she pushes me towards the kitchen.

"You're early today, a little antsy to toddle over here were you?-"

"Excuse me, toddle? I'm not a penguin."

"-Because Edward was weird last night – not the normal weird, even weirder than the normal weird - and I think it has something to with you," she elongates 'you' and uses her finger to wag about my face, "So, what did you do?"

"I haven't done anything!" I sit down on the stool next to the breakfast bar which Alice is perched on.

"Oh ho ho, I beg to differ. I can see it in your eyes. Now," she snaps her fingers a few times like this will encourage me, "Tell me."

"Tell you what?" It's not me that answers her, its Edward; he walks into the kitchen with a towel around his neck, rubbing his wet hair with one side of it.

Oh dear God, he's beautiful. When it's wet his hair looks so much darker and makes his skin look even more luminescent. I'm surprised he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Actually, how the hell would I know if he had a girlfriend? He might have kids as far as I know.

Jesus.

"Nothing, dear brother," she says with a far too mischievous grin, "no concern of yours. Bella and I were simply conversing about her first days at Forks High. Nothing major. No sir-ee, nothing of interest _at all._" His eyes narrow suspiciously at her.

"...did you find the coffee again?" her smile is sheepish but I'm far more interested in the small bead of water starting at his temple and sliding all the way around his jaw and down his neck.

"Well you didn't hide it very well."

"It was on the top shelf, three rows back in the pantry," _pantry? Holy fuck. _"What did you do, smell it out?"

"I'm not a bloodhound, Old English, sometimes I just need a pick-me-up in the form of a yummy highly caffeinated beverage. That's all. Calm your wow. Chill your monkey. Slow your boat."

"I'm telling mom."

"I hate you."

He leans his hip up against the counter where Alice is looking away with her arms folded and a petulant pout on her face.

"Hey." He says with a smile that shows he's Edward today.

"Hi."

"Yes, hey, hi, hello, nice to see you, how you doing, flirt, flirt, angry glare, passionate stare, oh my God I hate you, oh my God you're so dreamy, blah blah blah. Can we go now? I need to see Jazz." We both stare at her in horror; for one, I didn't realise someone could portray so many different emotions in one sentence, or not stop for breath for that long, but somehow Alice Cullen managed it. Not to mention, she basically just mortified me, which is an easy thing to hate about her.

...

Something weird happens this morning. Instead of sulking off to do whatever it is he does, Edward decides to come and stand by us.

"Well well, if it isn't Old English coming to grace us with his presence. It's been too long, your honour." She gives a mock curtsy and I smirk and lean against the bike rack next to Rose, she's extra snappy today, which I can only assume means she didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

"Well, I knew you couldn't go without seeing my face for long periods of time. It makes you yappy – you're so needy."

"Fuck you."

"I'm not really into beastiality." Ooh, Burn.

"Didn't you do Jessica Stanley?"

"Why, are you jealous?" Yes.

"Only in your dreams, baby."

"Those are nightmares, sweetness."

I'm watching them like a tennis match, waiting for the next blow. But apparently they're finished.

"Hey, Chimes, will you take a look at this manuscript for me?" She says after she's done smirking at Edward. I assume the banter was a way of greeting each other – okay, so I'm hoping it has nothing to do with sexual tension.

"Pencil?" She hands it to me and I mark it through, drawing little arrows to move phrases, crossing out just a little punctuation – she appears to be a fan of exclamation - and ticking where she'd be appraised. "An easy A," I say handing it back to her. "If this is going to be a general occurrence, I'm going to have to start charging." I say with a small smirk. She just tugs on my hair and thanks me. For some reason, this makes Edward gasp a little.

"What the fuck just happened?" I look up at him as he leans against the wall in front of me, my knees quite close to him. "Did the Nordic Ice queen just omit a _thank you?" _There's something in his eyes as he looks at me, something that I like.

"It's happened twice." Alice chirps in from the side as Jasper nuzzles her neck.

"My God, is she _dying?"_ He pretends to look shocked and says this with an exaggerated whisper. She slaps him in the chest, and not in a joking way, in a I-want-to-physcially-scar-you kind of way. But apparently he's not fazed.

He must have a strong chest.

Moving on.

"What did you just do anyway?" He snatches the paper from Rose, who doesn't seem to be paying attention to us any more anyway; instead she's staring away over the steps towards the other side of the parking lot. "Wow, how did you do that?" I'm kind of happy that he's impressed, but then I'm also kind of mad at myself for being so pathetic. But before I can even open my mouth to speak, Alice has beaten me to the punch.

"She was home schooled," she starts and Jasper unlatches himself from her to chime in.

"Her tutor used to mark her work and show her how to correct it," He says with a smirk and a dreamy voice, like it's a game.

"She kind of just picked it up," Alice finishes, looking quite pleased with herself, "wow, you really don't know much about Bella, do you Edward?" He seems to glare at her for a second, before he turns back to me.

"I guess not." Except there's a glint in his eye that tells me that he thinks he knows a lot more than he's letting on; considering the first time he saw me and of course his comforting me during my meltdown, I'm worried that he's probably right.

I look away from him just as someone across the steps catches my eye. Emmett.

His girlfriend Tanya is chatting away, but he's looking over here; I snap my eyes away and glare at my shoes. I don't want to look at him, he's a selfish bastard.

...

I'm a little nervous for Biology, it seems that things have gotten weirder between Edward and I, and I can't help but feel strange every time he looks at me. Sure, I find the boy very attractive, and when his hair is wet I have a strange urge to lick water off of him, but now that he knows things – personal and embarrassing things – I feel like I don't want to look at him, for fear of being subject to a permanent rosy blush across my cheeks.

"Hey." I say when I sit down next to him, trying not to look directly in his direction.

"Hi."

"Haven't we done this already today?" The nervous laughter makes it all the more awkward.

"Yeah, look Isabella, about yesterday-"

"I'd really rather not talk about it."

"No, I need to. I'm sorry that I've been a bit of an asshole," I scoff at his 'a bit' and when he scowls I give him a hand gesture that tells him to continue. "I just...I don't know what it is...you just _annoy_ me so much...but at the same time...I don't know. It's like, I'm only trying to look out for you, but when I do I make myself look like a complete and utter Jackass."

"Well, _you_ annoy me."

"Isabella." I can't help but grin a little at his scolding, exasperated tone.

"Look, I'm just beginning to realise how mental this place actually is, so why don't we just start over?"

"Can we do that?" I look at his confused, slightly pained, yet still somehow beautiful face and bite my lip.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan; I'm your new neighbour, biology partner and fellow Prodigy fan." The smile I get from this is stunning. I swear he could be a model if he wanted to. But one of those more manly ones; he doesn't have the effeminate thing going on. Thank God.

"Edward Cullen, it's a pleasure." We shake hands in a mocking kind of way, but we're both sort of trying not to laugh, so it's more like our hands are just vibrating against each other.

...

"Chimes," he says following me, but I quicken my pace to try to get out of the way. "Hey, wait, please." So I snap around, except he keeps going so I end up foreheading his huge, stupid chest. "Don't run away from me, please, I need you to be friends with me."

"And why should I, Emmett? Hmm? Because I'm pretty sure you'd just turn around and stab me in the back if I did, why wouldn't you? You'd do it to your own family, so why not me."

"Chimes, stop." But I've left and I don't want to speak to him any longer. I get it, he's probably had a lot of this from the other Freaks, and his brother and sister not talking to him probably sucks. But the treatment he's getting is warranted – he doesn't deserve them.

"Hey, you okay?" It's Edward, he's in the line for lunch so I join him.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Why?"

"You just look a little pissed is all." He smirks and I roll my eyes at him. I put my hand to my forehead and try to straighten out my shoulders.

"I'm just a little tense." From running away from your ignorant, self-loving older brother. He looks a little worried, which is unnecessary, but sweet all the same and when we walk to the table together, he slides into the bench right next to mine.

"So how come you guys are all buddy buddy now?" Mike spits out, and I look at him slightly surprised.

"What do you mean?" I look at Edward, but he seems particularly interested in his noodles to care.

"I thought you guys, like, didn't get on." I look at Edward out of the corner of my eye, who – whilst chewing his food - seems to be somewhat amused. He decides to put his arm around me and lean it against the back of the bench; it's kind of friendly and possessive at the same time, and I can tell that for some reason it pisses Mike right off.

"I don't know where you got that impression." He says, with barely disguised amusement. I roll my eyes again, and find myself looking at the perfect, raised eyebrow of Rosalie Hale. I just shrug in response to her silent questioning, because I don't know what's going on either. "Bella and I are neighbours." I'm still looking at Rose, who mouths 'Bella?' in curiosity.

"Right." Mike responds, seemingly unafraid of mocking, sarcastic Edward, when I'm pretty sure he scampered away the other day as soon as angry Old English reared his head. "But the other day-"

"I don't know where you're going with this, Tadpole, but I hardly think it's relevant." I'm thanking Rose with my eyes, but she's smirking at me. I can tell she wants to know what's going on just as Mike does. "Now slither away, it's hard to eat with you slurping away right in my ear." To my surprise, he does just that. His cool, brave bravado is gone, and Edward seems to be enjoying it immensely.

"You know, that is exactly how those killer rampage things start out; one day you single out just one guy and mock him for being a spineless cretin, the next he's gone super crazy killing loads of people."

"Oh, I don't single him out; I'm a major bitch to everyone."

"It's the truth; the sad, scary truth." Edward says with a shake of his head.

"I believe in consistency." She replies flippantly, sucking a straw from her Capri sun into her mouth. "Uh, Chimes?"

"Yeah?" I look up from picking at my sandwich, wondering why she suddenly sounds weird.

"Why is Tanya Denali staring at you?"

"What?" I turn my head, just as Edward does and we both see that indeed she's glaring straight at me. What have I done now? She doesn't even look away, instead she lowers her head so that she's glaring out from under her eyebrows. It's actually kind of funny, you know in a menacing sort of way.

"What did you do?" Rose asks and I notice that Edwards arm has slid off of the back of the bench and around my hip a little.

"I have no idea." When I turn back around, Edward and Rose are having some kind of silent discussion with their eyes. "What's going on?"

"I don't know, Darlin'," Suddenly Jasper's slipping in beside Rose, Alice at his other side and he seems to know exactly what we're talking about. "But it can't be good."

...

"Edward, you've been following me around all afternoon, I get it, but really I can manage by myself."

"I'm sure you can," His tone is placating though and it just makes me angry, "but it would really make me feel better if we stayed together for a little while. Just until we find out what's up with Tanya." I roll my eyes in his direction and see he's using a disturbingly distracting smile to try and make me agree with him.

"Fine, whatever," I say, and he slumps his shoulders in relief. "Why do you care so much anyway?" He doesn't look so cocky anymore; instead his eyes go down to his shoes.

"I don't know. I like you Bella; I don't want to see you get hurt." For some reason this makes my heart beat a little faster.

"Well, I guess I can put up with you following me around for a little while. But seriously Edward, you've tagged me for hours now, don't you need a break?"

"Uh, actually, we have this class together, remember?" He's cocky again, "God, you're always thinking about yourself, aren't you Swan." I huff and follow after him as he smirks triumphantly into wood shop.

I do my best not to look at Mr Aro, although I can feel his gaze burning into the side of my head, I kind of hide behind Edward as we make our way over to our bench and only breathe fully once we sit down.

"I probably shouldn't have threatened the guy, huh?"

"You think?" And here comes condescending Edward.

"Oh, shut up, he was being a pompous, sexist asshole."

"He was also being a teacher, one that you have to count on for your grade and comfort within his class for the remainder of your school experience."

"Stop being logical – he was a plain and utter douche nozzle. I should report him." He just looks down at the papers in his hands and tries not to let me see the slow upturn of one side of his mouth, he tries to hide it but I can tell I've cracked him.

When Emmett sits down I turn myself completely away and begin using the protractor to measure out the angles on the design. He doesn't try to talk to me, which is wise, because I would probably launch a hammer at his head.

I can feel the tension begin to rise, as Edward looks up and looks between us, realising that we're not facing each other.

Luckily, Jazz saunters in just in time, his fedora low over his eyes and perches himself right next to me.

"What is _up_ ch-ch-ch-ch-chimes?"

"Dude, what are you on, seriously?" Fortunately he doesn't take offence to this; he just gives me lopsided smile whilst Edward laughs quietly and even Emmett shakes a little.

"I'm on pure unadulterated love, babycakes. You should try it sometime." He gives me a wag of his eyebrows, giving a pointed glance over at Edward who seems to be very interested in sanding all of a sudden.

"So do you snort this love or..."

"Sugar, this love is so beautiful and passionate that it warms me up inside and keeps me up _all_ night."

"Oh dear God, please tell me you're not talking about sex with my sister." Edward groans and I see Emmett shudder in disgust next to him, equally as petrified at the thought. I can't help but snigger a little; their reaction toward their baby sister is cute. I wish I had siblings.

"Guys, there's nothing disgusting about raw, sexual, animalistic-" Both of them look a little green, and Jasper winks at me and I know that he's messing with them.

"For the love of all that is holy, do _not_ finish your sentence." And suddenly Jasper and I are cracking up and Emmett is miming gagging. I momentarily forget that I don't like him anymore and so I keep laughing until there are tears running down my face.

...

"Oh come on! I'll just meet you at the car!"

"Just stand there; I'll literally be about ten seconds."

"I don't need you to give me a timetable, Edward, this is weird! Nothing is going to happen in the minute walk to your car." He huffs at me and plants me right next to the boys bathroom door.

"Ten seconds." I guess he's won this argument then.

"You'd better wash your hands!" I yell after him.

It's ironic that the reason I'm standing here is to stop confrontation with Tanya, because just as Edward leaves she suddenly appears, like some whacked up genie.

"It's Bella, right?" She snaps into my face, slapping a palm onto the wall behind me. It would be threatening if I wasn't so tall. However, the posse of cheerleaders behind her puts me a little off of my nerve.

"Tanya, lovely to see you again. Tell me, do you wash that uniform? It's just, you seem to wear it every day. It's a little gross."

"Listen, bitch, I know what you were doing last night, and you've got a _huge_ shock coming your way if you think you can get away with it." I just stare at her, realising that she really is a vapid, whore sucking psychopath.

"I didn't realise watching old reruns of Fresh Prince of Bel Air was a crime."

"Don't fuck with me, Swan. I saw your number on his phone, and he was out _all_ last night. Emmett's a good boy, so I don't know what Freak _scum_ like you thinks you've got that I don't, but let me reassure you, whatever game you're playing ends now." I hear her pack around her snigger and I feel the emotion rushing up in me again, I really can't help myself. I try to think of the rain pelting down on my skin, or even the smell of Edward's neck, but it doesn't help, I'm seeing red.

I stretch my neck, roll my shoulders back and step forward so that my forehead just about smacks her in the eye, she moves back though and it's like I'm pushing her back with the power of my mind. It would be funny if I wasn't trying so God damn hard not to rip her red hair right out of her head.

Her eyes are less piercing and more wary now; what, did she think I was going to curl up in a ball and blub my eyes out until she had forgiven me?

Fat chance, bitch.

"That's funny, because I don't know what nerve a fucking vermin whore has that makes her think she can come up to a perfect stranger and accuse her of something implausible – because I sure as fuck wouldn't go near _anything_ that has touched you." I think more people are crowding round and I can hear sounds, but my vision is impaired as I struggle to keep the tinge of red in my eyes from snapping my judgement.

Careful, Bella, think of the rain. Don't lose it.

"You're on very thin ice, slut." She says, and looks like she's lifting her hand to smack me. I'm almost begging her to do it. I know she probably shouldn't, her being a Greek, there's probably a rule about attacking twice before the other side retaliates. But I'm smiling now and I can tell it's the sick, slightly unstable smile that I get when I'm just about to lose it. I lean forwards.

"Do it." I hiss, egging her on. "Hit me." She looks at both of my eyes, back and forth, back and forth. "Hit me, Hit me, hit me, hit me." I can see her breaking. "Hit. Me."

I recognise the anger as it bubbles up in her and forces her arm to snap out at me, but considering I saw it coming – well, I did tell her to do it - I grabbed her offending arm, twisted and folded it under causing her to yelp out. The sound is immediately satisfying.

I see some of her friends rush forwards, but then I guess I look too psycho for them to help, because they just stand awkwardly a few feet away.

I'd lasted three days in this place. Three fucking days before I'd lost it. It's a good job they already branded me as a Freak, because I'm pretty sure this little show down just cost me all of my sanity votes.

Suddenly I'm falling forwards and floating in the air. With a flip I'm over his shoulder and in the process I've knocked Tanya back, letting go of her arm.

"What the _fuck_, Edward!" I scream, except trying not to be too loud. Like a caveman he carries me all the way back to the car and dumps me in the front seat, pushing my head a little forcefully between my knees.

"Stay." He bites out and I almost lunge at him, except in this position the blood seems to be running to my head and calming me down a little.

I hear the backdoor open as Alice slides in, then Edward gets into the driver's seat next to me.

"That. Was. So. Awe-"

"Shut up, Alice." I can tell from his tone that he means business, so I keep my head between my legs all the way back home, not caring that my head starts to thump.

When we get back to his house I throw open the door and dart away from him, except two seconds later he's caught up to me and he's spun me around and pinned me up against the side of my house.

"Get off!" I shriek, shaking and scrambling to get out of his grasp. But he's really _very_ strong and he holds me flat until I stop struggling.

"You're messed up." He says finally, but he doesn't say it like it's a bad thing.

"I tried." I say, and for some reason tears are springing to my eyes, and I _never_ cry. Not even at The Notebook. "I tried so hard not to-" and now he's not holding me back anymore, he's pulling me into him again and I'm wrapping my arms around his neck and his are tight around my waist. I breathe in at his neck again, memorising how he smells; like spice, soap and boy.

I'm thinking maybe he has magic hugs, because finally my blood has stopped boiling and my heart has slowed. When I let him go, I don't look at him; I just press my lips to the hot skin on his neck and then leave walking slowly into my house. I can only assume he left and isn't still pressed up against the side of my house. That would be awkward.

When I get in I shut the door behind me, the house seems silent and I consider screaming to get out some of my pent up energy, but then I notice that a soft glow is peering out from under the living room door. Curiously I push it open and step inside.

"Isabella, where have you been?"

"Dad? What are you talking about? I was at school." It's then that a smell it, the strong, bitter whisky smell. What has he done?

"I've been waiting _all_ day." He sounds angry.

"Oh, not today, Charlie. Please, God, I'm begging you, not today."

"Not to-fucking-day, Bella?" Uh oh, Charlie _never_ swears in front of me, I was lead to believe he thought it was rude to swear in front of a lady. "Do you even know what _today_ is?" I try to think, but I'm coming up blank. What happens on September sixteenth?

"No, Charlie, I do-"

"To-fucking-day, is the day that I came home to my own bed being _defiled _by your whore of a mother. To-fucking-day is the day that my marriage ended. To-fucking-day is the day that your mother told me she'd been shagging one of my friend's sons. And do you know, what else today is, _Isabella,_" Oh no, oh fuck no. "To-fucking-day is my birthday." His card was up in my room, along with a small boxed cake and pair of tickets to the next hockey game I knew he'd been dying to see. I had been so obsessed with moving here and the Freaks and the fucking Greeks that I'd forgotten all about my own dad's birthday.

And then it hits me. My own mother was hooking up with someone's son? On my dad's birthday? For the love of all things holy, Renee!

"Dad. I'm sor-"

"You're sorry? You're fucking sorry? You know what, _Isabella,_ you are just like her. Just like your mother. A stupid, senseless whore!" And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my source of anger. It's passed straight through the genes, right into my slightly innocent looking body. I've got a problem, and I bloody well know where I get it from.

"Fine." I say, and then taking his lead on the whole anger thing, pick up his half full crystal whisky glass and throw it straight flat out into the wall.

The glass explodes like a firework, and tiny pieces of perfect crystal spurt out all over the floor. The stain of alcohol on the wall marks my shot and we both watch – his head bobbing as it struggles to stay upright - as streams of the liquid form paths down the wallpaper. My chest heaves frantically, as I drag in the air, adrenaline gushing through me.

I turn, rather nonchalantly considering the situation, slam the door shut and storm up the stairs. I pick up his birthday card, cake and tickets – considering for a moment to rip them to shreds, but then deciding that would be a waste of money - and go through to his bedroom, placing them in the middle of his bed, before going back to my room and locking the door behind me.

It's here that I scream, and I worry that my head will implode if I don't calm down.

I climb up onto my desk and scramble out of the window. I take a running start to leap straight over onto the roof opposite. I fumble a little and realise that this was probably an incredibly stupid idea during my mental state, but I right myself and then chap as softly as I can manage on the window.

Even when I just see his face, looking innocently up from his laptop, his hair scruffy, his headphones in, I calm down a little and when he opens the window with a questioning glance I jump straight into his arms and burst out crying.

**Yeah, I don't like helpless Bella, I prefer her with a little more backbone, which is why she's got a short fuse and she kicks arse in my fic! But I do like it when she needs Edward, and I think it's pretty obvious that she really needs him right now, whether she would admit it or not. **

**Be a doll and press that review button. **


	7. A Strictly Platonic Night With Edward

**A/N Thank you for all your comments, they make my brain happy. I'm kind of battering out the chapters right now when I probably should be focusing on my college work, but this is so much more fun...**

**I HATE writing fluffy romantic stuff, because I'm not a very romantic person, and I think that if I even tried to write something sweet, I'd crash and burn. And then explode. And then hate myself. **

**So this chapter is a little friendship-ish. I wanted to give Edward and Bella some time alone, and I needed to get Bella's story out of the way, and so I thought this would be a good idea. **

**I like to use Alice as a llama in a top hat doing the mambo and waving sparklers in the air when things get too serious. I need to stop drinking coffee. **

**Chapter 7**

**A strictly platonic night with Edward**

For a second, he's so quiet that I actually think he's fallen asleep, but when I raise my head up from his neck I see that he's just watching my fingers as he twirls a piece of my hair around and around.

"Thank you." I whisper, because I can finally talk again.

"For what?" He answers, and his voice is so low and gravelly that it makes me tingle.

"For being my friend. For calming me down. For pulling me away from Tanya. For not throwing the crazy person out of your house when you probably should."

"Bella, you're not crazy." He says and looks up quickly and into my eyes. I rest my chin on his shoulder and marvel at how thick, dark and long his eyelashes are. It's rather unfair how boys tend to have the prettier eyelashes. I'm jealous.

"I wish I could believe you." We're tangled together on his bed, as soon as I'd nearly fallen through his window, he held on to me, eventually scooping me up and laying me down on his bed, then he put on some music and lay down next to me, wrapping his arms around me until I'd stopped shaking.

It's getting ridiculous the amount of times this boy has held me to calm me down. He doesn't seem to mind though; in fact he seems to be discreetly smelling my hair just as I keep indiscreetly burying my nose in his neck.

"Did I tell you that I was adopted?" I have to let out a little laugh at this; he's random but cute, trying to get my mind off of my mental instability.

"Edward, we've just started talking to each other like normal human beings this morning." He smirks.

"Well, I'm adopted. That's why Alice is in the same year as me – we're all adopted, me, Alice and...Emmett."

"I know what Emmett did." I say quietly and his chest stills for a minute. I run my finger down his forearm and wait until he starts to breathe again.

"Yeah?" He says a little restrained.

"I know how it feels to be abandoned. And what he did was insensitive and bastard-y."

"Bastard-y?"

"Damn straight."

"His timing was impeccable too." He says with a sigh, not looking at me.

"What do you mean?" I ask, slightly confused.

"Nothing. I get it, I do - we're not blood related. But we've known each other all of our lives and when he did...that...and then _her._ God, I thought my head was going to explode." I chuckle bitterly at that, I know how that feels.

We are quiet again for a little while before he shifts and pulls his body out from beneath mine, lying so that we're both facing each other.

"Are you ready to talk about it yet?" I close my eyes.

"Do I have to be?" I feel him push my hair out of my face and around my ear.

"Yes." I smile at his abrupt answer, but I know that he's right.

"My mom – Renee – is with this younger guy, Phil."

"He an asshole?"

"Not so much, he's just really naive, he doesn't get that everything she does is for herself...Anyway, so I've been living and sort of touring with them ever since I was seven, when Renee cheated on my dad and decided this place was too small for her. So she took me with her to Phoenix – where she met up with Phil and the two of them made these big plans to tour the world together. Phil comes from old money, so it's no problem for him and unsurprisingly Renee didn't mind spending someone else's money – the only problem was me. My mom didn't want Charlie to win, so she kept me with her and Phil paid for me to be homeschooled...you can stop me if you get bored." I notice that he's started playing with my fingers and I fidget when I'm fed up.

"I want to hear about you. Keep going."

"So, we went to England, and France, and Scotland, we visited Ireland for a little while. Each time we'd stay for a short time, and I'd maybe make some acquaintances, and because Renee and Phil we're too busy doing what they wanted I went out and partied and hung out. I've never really had proper friends, because just as I was starting to get to trust people, it was time to move on. New place, new people.

I would get really frustrated, and for some reason even the smallest annoyances made me mad as hell. Somehow, during the short periods of time that we were together, Renee realised that I was like my dad; I had really bad anger issues.

But she was going through this sort of 'nature goddess' phase and so she didn't believe in medicines or anything like that. So, she, uh, let me express my anger in a different way and soon enough it was all good. I didn't get that angry anymore."

"What did she do?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You're making me worry, was it something bad?" He looks a little angry himself at the moment, probably jumping to extreme conclusions.

"No! It's nothing. I don't know why I don't want to tell you, I'm just...Honestly, I don't know why I can't quite say it...There's this 'me' that I just don't need anyone to know about...I'm just not ready to let myself go quite yet. You understand, right?" I look up at him with hopeful eyes and I can see that he is still curious, but he softens and licks his lips.

"Yeah, right. I get it, I do." He smiles and I'm relieved. "Please, go on, I need to hear more."

"Why?" I find myself asking, before I can stop.

"I don't know," he looks a little torn, and I remember his face as he told me to be safe, how vulnerable he looked, "there's just something about you that makes me...want to protect you." Like a little sister, I think to myself, he wants to protect me.

It still makes me smile though, and I'm kind of happy inside.

"So I was doing good, we'd just moved from Paris to Glasgow, and for some reason I was really optimistic about the move. I was going to ask Renee if I could maybe try going to school, rather than being tutored. Even though I loved my tutor, I couldn't help but feel like I was missing out on some vital part of childhood.

I was going to ask her that night, but she got to me first. She sat me down and she told me that my issues were getting in the way of her and Phil, and that she needed to concentrate on her relationship rather than being bothered by my episodes. As you know, I get panic attacks. It's like when I think I'm going to get angry, my brain goes into overload and everything suffocates me and then...I just can't calm down. I'm sort of like Alice in that sense; you know how she jumps to extremes? Well, I do it a little more literally; I'm either a petrified mess or a furious tyrant." This he finds particularly funny.

"Bella, you're hardly a tyrant. In fact, if you hadn't actually nearly broken Tanya's arm, I'd think you were quite cute. Like a kitten."

"Piss off." But secretly I'm kind of glad that when I'm angry I'm not a raging psycho, but instead 'cute'. I've never been called cute before.

"You know you don't mean that." He seems awfully sure of himself. "Okay keep going, I already hate your mother." I know he's only trying to be nice, but he barely knows what she's capable of.

"She told me the big speech about how I couldn't stay with her any longer and that I had to leave. I was actually kind of glad, because I hadn't seen my dad in a while and because that meant that I would actually get my wish, and that I could experience a real school. But as much as I wish I could like Charlie, we're just too similar to get along; we both get extremely pissed off very easily and we don't have the patience to humour people for long. So we'll never be a real bonded father and daughter, because we can barely hold a conversation between each other, and he's far more interested in his work than he ever has been of me. My whole life I've fought for attention between a job and a rich man and I have _never_ won." He shuffles a little closer.

"Do you want to tell me about tonight?" I pull my lips in and bite them with my teeth; I shake my head because I can't bear to tell him about the whisky glass. "Why do you like the rain so much?" He asks, and I'm glad that he has a question I can answer.

"I can rely on the rain, it's not always frequent, but every time I lie and let myself get drenched, I don't have to think about anything other than the rain. It calms me down. I guess you could say I've been using it as therapy." He smiles a small, almost sad smile, and I really don't want him to pity me. I go to tell him this but am frozen still as his bedroom door rattles.

"Edward, why is the door locked?" It's Alice, what a surprise.

"Alice, go away, I'm busy."

"Busy with wh- ohhh! Ew. Edward, I know you're a teenage boy, but really? How often is it even physically possible, I mean there has to be some limit surely?" Edward darts off of the bed with a panicked expression and points for me to get down the side of his double bed, and trying not to burst out laughing, I do just that. He unlocks the door and opens it.

"What is your problem?" He says, exasperatedly.

"I didn't mean it like that; it's a natural thing to do. Heck, everybody does it. Nothing wrong with a little self love. I bet even Bella does it." I blush crimson from my hiding spot, noting her teasing tone as she jibes Edward. Why would she mention me? Unless she knows I'm here and she's trying to purposefully mortify me. Oh dear God, if she's been listening at the door I will string her up by her nosy pixie wings.

"Get out." He says flatly.

"Oh, you know I'm only teasing." She snaps her fingers, "Edward, wake up, stop thinking about Bella and wanking. It's not gentlemanly." I put my hands over my face, hoping that somehow I'll just disintegrate into the floorboards. "Speaking of Bella, how come both of your windows are open?" I can sense her moving about in the room, she's obviously looking for me.

"It's a warm night. Why don't you go over there and ask Bella yourself, anything, just get the fuck out of my room."

"Why so touchy tonight, Eddie?" Apparently he's picked her up and is forcing her out because she's screaming all kinds of expletives at him and she kind of gets drowned out as the door slams in her face.

"Fucking Banshee." He hisses and from my spot on the floor I burst out laughing, I try to keep quiet in case she's got her nose pressed up to the door, but I'm laughing so hard that it's difficult to control. Edward picks me up from the floor and kind of throws me on the bed so that I bounce a little and have to grab the blue comforter in my hands so that I don't fall off, but it doesn't stop my laughter. It wouldn't actually been quite sexy - being thrown down on a bed - if it weren't for the fact that I was pissing myself laughing and that I was still kind of humiliated at Alice's interest in, um, wanking.

"I hate you." But he says it with a smirk.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and try to settle down, my laughs coming in sporadic hiccups every now and then. I've noticed that he's sat down on his desk chair rather than his bed, and I'm suddenly worried that I've offended him.

"Hey, are you hungry?" He says finally and I'm glad it's with a tone of genuine concern, not hidden anger.

"Kind of, but I don't want to put you out. Actually, maybe I should go back over." I look out the window. I really don't want to go back; Edward's room is kind of like a sanctuary right now, and I don't have to think about my problems at home. I know as soon as I jump that gap back across its going to hit me like a train. But I have to face it sometime.

"Actually," Edward says, leaning his elbows on his knees, "I was kind of wondering if you'd maybe stay." He doesn't seem nervous asking, and I'm not surprised because he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who isn't used to having girls sleep over.

I look back over at my window and then back at him; his eyebrow is cocked.

"I'd like that actually. If you're sure you don't mind."

"Bella, of course I don't mind. I don't know why, but I feel like I've known you for a lot longer than a few days." His eyes widen a little and I think maybe he didn't mean to say that out loud. "I hope that didn't sound as cheesy as it did in my head."

"You are dairy free my friend." He looks down and then back up at me with a small smile.

"Right...food. Lock the door behind me, I find it keeps out unwanted guests." I do as he says, and five minutes later he's knocking on the door again. I wait until he's says my name before I let him in, because I know how sneaky Alice can be.

"You, my friend, are a God."

"I _am_ pretty awesome."

"And he's modest too." The dorito I throw at his head rebounds off nicely.

"Hey, now." He frowns.

We both sit cross legged on his big bed, a mountain of chips, dip and candy between us – it's probably not the most healthy dinner, but it's exactly what I need. He tells me he told his parents he wasn't hungry and was going to finish his report and go to bed early; apparently his dad is a little childish, because he had jokingly mocked him for being an 'actionless nerd.' I like that Edward could tell me that.

"Do you have something I can wear?" I ask once we've cleaned up our snacks from the bed and piled them onto his desk, he rubs his hands together to get off some dorito goodness.

"Uh, sure." He rummages through his clothes until he picks up a dark grey shirt, smells it and then throws it at me, then pulls a pair of basketball shorts out of his drawers. "These do?"

"Thanks." I say with a nod and hold them to my chest.

"Um, the bathroom door is linked to both mine and Emmett's room, but I've locked his side so he can't get in. There's spare stuff in the mirrored cabinet if you want to borrow anything." I smile at him as I go in, taking his shirt with me.

I don't want to mention Emmett again, because I don't want him to get pissy and moody. I find Edward much more tolerable when he's not glaring at me.

I brush my teeth and wash my face, and then I fold up my clothes and slide on his. They're far too big, the shorts at my knees and the shirt baggy but when I look at myself in the mirror I can't help but smile. I know it's stupid, but I've always seen those girls with their friends swapping clothes, or when a guy gives a girl his jacket. It's not a romantic thing – although it is sweet – I just think it's more of a friendship thing, like you care about one another. And I know that Edward and I have known each other for such a short period of time, but I like him.

Maybe it's just because I haven't allowed myself to make true friends in places I knew I wouldn't be staying in for long, but it feels like I could talk to him about anything, trust him -Which is undeniably ridiculous, because I thought he was an arrogant asshole before today.

I find a brush in the bathroom; which is weird because Emmett doesn't have enough hair to brush, and Edwards is far too unruly to have even seen grooming products. I take it out with me back into his room.

"Hey." I say, noticing he's changed into a black wife beater, cute, red tartan drawstring pyjama pants and - holy mother of all things sexy – black rimmed glasses. He was lounging across his bed reading – I seriously didn't realise I spent that long in there – and looking stupid fucking hot. Oh dear. He looks at me.

"Hi." He gives me a smirk like he can somehow read my mind, and I'm more than glad that he can't...He can't, right?

"Bathroom."

"Right." And now it's awkward.

Thankfully, he jumps up with a small smile and shuts the door behind him. All of a sudden I'm finding it hard not to look at him when he's in the room. Which is weird, because I spent the last few hours lying all over him complaining about my life. God I'm pathetic.

I sit up on the other side of his bed, tucking my legs underneath me so that I'm kneeling, and curiosity gets the better of me, so I flip the cover of his book over to read the title.

The Shining – Nice, boy likes his horror.

I start to brush my hair out. I should stop scrunching the ends with mousse, I know it makes it curly but it just pisses me off when I brush it. When my hair is fully brushed, its smooth and more wavy than curly.

"So I've unlocked Emmett's door, but I'll lock mine just in-" He stops and looks at me.

"What?" I ask self consciously, folding myself up into a ball and holding my basketball short clad knees to my chest.

"Hmm? Nothing. I was just...you look...Never mind." He runs his hand through his hair and then flips out his light quickly, I hear him let out a sigh and then feel his weight as he clambers in to the other side of the bed.

We're silent for a moment, and I'm still curled up on top of his covers.

"Is this weird?"

"Why would it be weird?"

"I don't know. I've never really slept over at other people's houses before. And you're not exactly the general slumber party host."

"Because I'm a guy?" A hot guy.

"Yes."

"Oh."

"And I mean sure, it worked out fine for Joey and Dawson, right?" He snorts.

"Didn't they end up a couple?"

"Yes, a stupid decision if you ask me. It didn't last long. She ended up with Pacey in the end, thank God. Pacey was _way _hotter than Dawson - not to mention sweeter and funnier. Dawson sucks."

"Bella-"

"It should have been called Pacey's Creek."

"Bella-"

"I would have _loved_ that show."

"Swan, go to sleep." So I tuck myself under his soft duvet and let my head sink into those really fancy pillows that have so much air in them you think you're sleeping on a cloud.

"I'm just saying."

**Sorry for **_**Bella's**_** little tirade there, I think **_**she**_** made **_**her **_**opinions on Dawson pretty clear...**

**Anyhoo, Reviews would be lovely, darlings, I promise to update as soon as possible, I LOVE that you like my story. Let me know when things get boring and I'll throw in a death or two. **

**Goodnight, and Good luck.**

**Who's seen that movie? **

**I should go.**


	8. The Repercussions of our Actions

**A/N Hey guys, let me know what you think about this one; here's some more of those crazy kids...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I do however own a slightly retarded jack Russell terrier cross called Penny. I think Stephenie Meyer may have won this round.**

**Chapter 8**

**The Repercussion of our Actions**

When I wake I feel like I'm being smothered, which is a weird feeling to feel. I snap my eyes open with a gasp, and realise that the weight across my stomach isn't a predator, but an arm. A heavy arm.

I squint and then lie back again. Somehow during the night I'd managed to roll into the middle of the bed – I knew having a double bed all to myself would have some drawbacks. What I did like though, was that with his face half buried in his pillow and his legs just about hanging over the bottom of the bed, Edward had thrown one arm over my middle, basically pinning me to the bed.

I shook a little in silent laughter as the side of his face was smooshed up on one side, making his lips all pouty like a little boy. But he was undeniably adorable – which I'm probably guessing he wouldn't like to hear. I think maybe looking at someone's lips while they sleep is a little weird, but hey, nobody was going to catch me doing it.

I leaned up a little to look over at his side and at his clock. The red numbers were too bright for a moment, but when my eyes adjusted the numbers stopped being blurry and revealed that it was only 6:30AM – far too early in my opinion, I usually woke late and had to rush to get ready. But I literally can't function without sleep, I'm like a zombie.

I decided to move a little closer before closing my eyes again; deciding a little while just resting would be good.

"Bella," His voice is thick with sleep and a little husky, "its quarter past seven." I respond with a groan as I turn and hit him a little, as if it's his fault that it's time to get up. He chuckles and I rub my eyes with my fists. I feel him sit up and slide out of the bed. "Tell you what, how about I go in the shower and then when I'm finished I'll wake you up again."

I respond with an almost incoherent "go away" As I roll myself up in his covers and hug a pillow before burying my face in it. I hear him laugh again and then the door to the bathroom shuts. As soon as I hear the shower start up I take in a deep breath – Damn, his pillows smell good.

It's not long before he's back out again and that means that I have to get up.

"Edward, stop it, you're dripping on me."

"Well if you would just get out of bed, I wouldn't have to do something weird like this." Suddenly he's shaking his hair like a dog and the water is going everywhere, I squeal and curl up like a hedgehog.

"Stop it!" I manage to squeal, but I'm sort of laughing so it comes out kind of strangled.

"Edward?" I flip over quickly and we both stare at each other. "Sweetheart, are you alright?" It's a woman's voice, and I'm guessing it's his mother.

"Uh, yeah. I mean, yes. I'm just watching some TV, mom." He grabs a remote and flips on the flat screen just as I scramble off of his bed, trying not to take into notice that his is in fact shirtless, and ripped as hell. Seriously, how does someone have time to exercise _that_ much? This makes me think of Emmett and how huge he is; maybe his parents feed them stuff to make them stronger like, I don't know, steroids.

I grab my clothes in a ball and run into his bathroom, pulling on my jeans and leaving his shorts on the floor. I leave his shirt on and just take mine with me, deciding that I'd just sneakily give him it back when I came back in three quarters of an hour for a ride to school.

"Whatever, Edward. I need your laundry."

"Uh, I'll bring it down when I'm ready."

"I need it now, unless you want to do your own washing yourself?" I give him a smile and then I dive for his window, climbing up onto over a part of his full bookshelf to boost myself up.

"Why, that's ludicrous." I can hear in his voice that he's mocking her, and she responds with a dry chuckle.

"That's what I thought." She says from the other side of the door as I climb out onto his roof and ease the window almost closed, then I shimmy over to the side, so that I'm curled up next to the wall, invisible from inside his room - I hope. "So are you opening the door, or do you want me to be all awesome and bust down the door?" I hear him open the door and suddenly her voice is much louder. "Yeah, for some reason, Carlisle _hates_ it when I bust down the doors in this house. Something about paying for hinges blah blah blah."

"I wish I could have normal parents."

"Hey, be grateful buddy, you could have had _my_ parents."

When she's gone Edward opens his window and leans out.

"She kept on looking at the window, but I'm pretty sure we got away with it."

"I feel like a criminal." I say with a smile. "I'll give you your shirt back when I come back over."

"Yeah, sure." I go to turn but he stops me. "You should wear your hair like you had it last night."

"Why?" I ask, half blushing. He just shrugs.

"It's nice." I give him a kind of nod, as if he's gone crazy overnight. I think this is what it feels like the night after a drunken hook up – not that that has anything to do with our situation. I'm guessing I'm blushing a good four shades of red right now. Fantastic.

"So..."

"Yeah..."

"You tell anyone I cried and I'll hang you up by your balls."

"Noted." With that I leap back over the gap and slide into my own room, fumbling over my desk, not daring to look back in case I fell.

I had a feeling today was going to be rough.

...

"Well hello there," Alice said answering the door. "Sweet Jesus, that's an outfit." I pull a face and look down at my army pants, boots and black wife beater.

"Why thank you, I'm sure that was supposed to be a compliment." She shrugs. "I figure if I'm going to be a badass, I might as well look the part."

"Ah, dressed for the warzone...clever."

I smiled at Edward at the top of the stairs when Alice had turned her back, and as soon as she started walking towards the kitchen I pulled his shirt out from behind my back and placed it on the step on my way past.

"Today's going to be a weird one, I'm sure my brother won't be leaving your side for one second. He may even force you to actually go _into_ the toilets with him this time...Ew. That would be gross. I hope he doesn't do that."

"Alice, I won't get in trouble, will I?"

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that. If Tanya even said a word to _one_ teacher, you'd have a whole pack of people declaring that she started it. Plus, it would tip the balance on the rules."

"What rules?" She looks over at me exasperatedly, like I should know this.

"Well to begin with, we're not supposed to fight with each other. The Greeks broke that rule with Jake. So now if they get you into trouble, it's like a double whammy and we _vicious_ Freaks will find it necessary to do something drastic." I look at her when her eyes water. I slide my hand across the table and lace my fingers through hers.

"You really hate all this, don't you?"

"What, the violence? Oh heck no, I actually agree with that part, it means we get to show we have bite. The part I don't like is how they attack when we're vulnerable – when we're alone, when we're upset, when we're lonely."

"So, why'd they pick Wolf?" She sighs and then leans against the counter.

"Jake's dad died not two weeks ago."

"Oh my God."

"I know, and he's so God Damn cheerful all of the time, I could just smush his face. But it's a mask; he needs to be the strong man for his mom and three little brothers, he can't just break down. So that's why it gets to me so much – because it doesn't just hurt the victims physically, it takes us to a place that we really don't want to go."

"_We?_ Alice, did something hap-"

"Is there coffee?" Edward says, strolling into his kitchen and grazing my back.

"Well, I wouldn't know, would I?" Alice says and suddenly she's Alice again, she's not worried, she's perky.

"Good, let's keep it that way, fry."

"Oh, Bella, I was thinking maybe you'd like to come over tonight, I'll invite Rose too, just in case today is a little tough. We can watch movies, and eat ice cream, and gossip, it'll be cool. Whaddya say?" And how exactly could I possibly say no to that face. Plus it would help to get away from Charlie again for one more night.

"And I suppose you expect me to stay locked up in my room the whole night then." Edward says from beside me, but I refuse to look at him in case my mind reverts to when he was topless and I faint or something.

"You didn't have a problem with your room last night."

"Well, I had a paper to finish."

"Yeah, I bet you did."

...

When I get out the car, the mood is even more ominous and threatening than before. I'm kind of glad that Edward is sticking to me like glue, although I jab him in the ribs when he glares at the people looking.

"_That_ is not going to help."

"What's that now?"

"That stare thing you've got going on – the whole hostile, menacing, I'm-Edward-Cullen-and-I-could-kill-you-and-bury-the-body-where-no-one-would-ever-find-you look. It's annoying."

"I don't stare."

"You kind of pierce through people with your eyes." Your stunning, fantastic eyes.

"Like James Marsden in X-men." Alice chips in, skipping besides us for some reason unknown to me.

"Cyclops?" I ask, looking at her in slight amusement.

"Yeah, y'know, except with broody, angry hostility rather than laser beams."

"They're not laser beams, Alice, they're red bolts of,,, You know what? I'm not having this argument with you." Edward huffs.

"Probably for the best." I say with a pat to his arm. He looks down at me with a smirk, but his eyes are so much more intense. I have to look away.

When we turn the corner Rose lets out a weird kind of whoop and then sinks to her leather clad knees.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask her as she literally bows in front of me.

"I bow in your presence, you spectacular creature."

"Get up." I say, hauling her by the arm as she sort of cackles. "You have a mental problem, Rose."

"No, but seriously, there's something I need to say."

"What?" I ask impatiently, and notice that a lot of people have quietened their conversations and are eavesdropping not so discreetly.

"_Did you ever know that you're my hero?"_ She sings and I groan, spinning around and starting to walk away, "_everything I would like to be!" _she sort of screeches after me and I can hear them all laughing.

I jump when I suddenly notice that Edward is beside me.

"Oh for God's sake, Alice was right, you're going to follow me around all day, aren't you?"

"Maybe you shouldn't have been so rash with your actions." He says nudging my shoulder with his.

"Maybe you shouldn't be such a condescending bastard." For some reason he smirks. "In case you haven't noticed, I can look after myself."

"Why, yes I have. I've also noticed your addiction to getting into trouble, you're quite lucky that I'm here to protect you actually."

"Oh, is that so?" I ask him and he smirks smugly.

"Without me you'd be punching teachers, breaking people's arms...It'd be a mess."

"You're so sure that you're the remedy to my madness? How do you know that you're not the one that's driving me crazy and forcing me to take out my anger on unsuspecting teachers and students?" He opens the door for me and follows me through after. I'm kind of glad that he's keeping me talking, because it's distracting me from noticing the glares and whispers around me.

"Well, you see, I'm awesome; I'm a good influence to everyone." He's joking of course, but I play along.

"It helps that you're so friendly and approachable too."

"I know, I don't know why I don't have more friends."

"They must be bedazzled by your perfect personality."

"That must be it."

...

By lunch time, Edward has managed to follow me around everywhere.

"You know, I managed fine on my own for the first couple of days. I really don't appreciate you acting like my bodyguard." Not to mention people might think we're dating, and that would be awkward.

"That's what you think." He mumbles, and I turn to glare at him.

"What, exactly, is that supposed to mean?"

"What? Nothing." I shoulder barge him and he glares. Suddenly it's very clear; I haven't actually been alone that much since I've stepped into this school, even in gym when I was jogging around the track, some boys that I'd seen hanging around the bike racks had stuck close to me.

"You told Jasper didn't you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He walks ahead in front of me, so I jog to keep up with him.

"You liar! You told Jazz to tell those morons to tag me, didn't you? Because you weren't here to do it yourself."

"You think _way_ too highly of yourself, Bella." But he's not denying it, and he steers me down to the canteen, grabbing me a tray.

"You need to stop treating me like a china doll." I snap and barge past him, grabbing a pasta salad and a Dr Pepper.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?" I receive from Rose as I slam my tray down on the table, causing Mike and two of his friends to jump and slide down the bench a little. I just growl and look up at Edward, who looks between the seat next to me and the seat next to Rose.

"God, it's like I have to decide the lesser of two evils."

"Bite me." I hiss and turn away.

"Ice bitch it is." He sits down next to Rose who gives him a malevolent sort of smile, and he responds with an over dramatised gulp and loosening of his collar.

"What have you done?" She says looking at me sulking and him tapping his fingers on the table.

"He's been following me around, trying to act like I can't take care of myself."

"Um, I think yesterday's display went to show exactly how _untrue _that is." Rose interrupts before Edward can speak.

"I just think it would be better if we didn't wander around by ourselves, especially after Wolf, you know just how vicious these things get, Thorn." For some crazy reason they share this weird eye connection, before Rose slumps a little and loses her classic bitch glare.

"Chimes, just humour him. After all, maybe he's just scared about himself and needs _you_ to protect _him._" I look at both of them. They're definitely keeping something from me, but there's something about the way that Rose looks at me, almost hopeful, that makes me drop it.

"Fine."

"So you won't complain anymore?" I swivel my head to Edward.

"Of course I'll complain, who the hell do you think you're talking to?" I'm curious, but the look of relief on his face when I let it go sort of makes me happy; he looks carefree and so unlike Old English who is burdened with so much anger, menace and responsibility that I'm proud of myself for instilling that in him. And for some reason, I seem to want to make him happy all of the time.

Which is highly weird.

"What you got next?" It's Rose that asks this.

"Gym, Coach Clapp has had us running track so I've mostly just stuck to myself in that class. Then I have math." I say, slurping some Dr Pepper.

"Oh," Rose says looking a little sneaky, "Do you know anyone in math?" I eye her a little, what was she playing at?

"Just Emmett. But I'm not speaking to him."

"Why not?"

"I know what he did Rose, and I don't like it." Her eyebrows rise in shock and she looks at Edward.

"She knows?"

"_She knows_ that Emmett left us to have Tanya and the role as Captain and whatnot."

"Oh." She doesn't look as shocked anymore.

"Why, what else is there to know?"

"Nothing." She responds a little too innocently, and Edward gives her a glare. "I just mean that it was a long time ago. I think Emmett has had enough punishment." I thought she was supposed to be an actress?

"Oh really? And when did you and _him_ become such good friends?"

"Old English, I didn't mean it like that." But Edward actually looked a little hurt. "You know that he and I were close before the _incident_, you know he hurt me too. I just think he doesn't deserve this treatment after all of this time."

"Hold up, _you _don't think he deserves bitchy treatment? _You_? Queen of the ball shrivelling one liners?" She rolls her eyes at my spiel, then shrugs.

"I just think we should move on." Edward stands up abruptly then causing the table to shake. "Old English-" Rose starts with a sigh but he storms away, leaving his food behind. "Just go." She says to me as she sees me looking after him.

"I'll see you tonight at Alice's'" I say and kiss her on the cheek, she gives me a half smile in return and I leave, taking my Dr Pepper, Edward's apple and his mountain dew with me.

I have to jog a little to catch up to him; he's standing besides the lockers. I watch as he slams his fist into one, and the whole row reverberates.

"Edward." I whisper and lean up beside him, not daring to touch him. He turns his head to me, his fists still up against the lockers. He opens his eyes slowly and his jaw twitches as he tries to calm down. He really is spectacularly beautiful; with his face a little red, his eyes sparkle even more than usual.

I look around us, everyone is watching – the crazy girl that tried to break one of the most popular girl in schools arm, and the wildly beautiful boy who looks just as unstable as I do. Edward must have done something as equally mental to have been as feared as he is. Even though they were watching, the other students kept a great distance from us, as if we would combust and engulf them in angry, orange flames.

I reach out and lace my fingers through his fist; he tries to relax his hand, and then he tries to shake me off but I hold onto his hand.

"Not here." I mumble, and then drag him out of the corridor, around the corner and into a dark classroom. He comes willingly, not struggling as I shut the door behind us and lean up against it, shutting us into the inky dark.

It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust, and when they do I see him leaning against a desk, the heels of his hands buried into his eyes.

I placed our drinks, his apple and my bag on the desk near the door, and then approach him warily.

"Edward-"

"Don't...please." I stand in front of him, twisting my hands together.

I can feel his frustration bubbling up and I'm dying to know what else Emmett did, but I know that if I ask, it'll break Edward further. I step forwards, gradually getting closer, so that I'm stood in front of him. I pull on his hands gently, worrying that if he pushes any harder on his face, his eyes will recede into his brain.

His chin is against his chest, but I pry his hands away from his face and he laces his fingers through mine. In this dark room everything feels different; there's a muffled sound of chatter from the hallway outside, but it feels like we don't have to worry about anything, there's nobody in here that we need to be scared of or feel threatened about, and it feels...comfortable almost.

"I'm a black belt." I blurt out randomly, but it works because his eyes snap up to meet mine. They look darker in here, but still as stunning.

"What?" He half laughs half whispers.

"Renee put me in taekwondo to help me get out my, and I quote, _pent up aggression._" He does this weird strangled laugh and then there's an awkward moment when he drags his eyes up from my boot clad feet to my face. "So, yeah. I don't know why I couldn't tell you before. I don't have an excuse; I just don't really trust people to know me, I've never had anyone I could trust before."

"I'm glad that you trust me, Bella." He says after a moment.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" He bites his lip, probably anxious as to what I will ask, but he nods anyway. "How come in wood shop you and Emmett get along fine? You don't talk to him any other time, and when Rose mentioned him you got angry...why is it different when you're not around people?" His hands tighten around mine for a second, but then his shoulders slump as if he's given up withholding information from me.

"When we're in Wood shop, it's like nothing has changed. It's just me, Jazz and Emmett; Old English, Tex and Teddy, just like it always used to be. It's like he's in charge again, like he's really my big brother and I can look up to him." I let go on one of his hands and pull his chin up when he looks down again. "But then I see him with _them_ and I just can't forgive him. What he did was wrong." I trace my thumb over his eyebrow, lingering on a tiny scar that cuts straight through the end. His free hand pulls my waist so that I stand between his knees and suddenly we're very close. "But I don't want you to hate him...I know, it may have seemed like I wanted you to, but I know that my brother is in there somewhere and I know that he shouldn't be judged for something he did in the past." He closes his eyes for a second, as if he's thinking of something he'd rather forget. "Rose was a part of it all, and when she said we should move on, it was like we were right back there again. It didn't feel like it had happened a year ago, it felt like it did then. I'm sorry for overreacting." I give him a small smile, and think about what he said to me.

_You're messed up._

Suddenly, it seemed as if I wasn't the only one - Rose is an utter bitch and doesn't allow boys anywhere near her, she's volatile. Alice is an expressive mess; a huge ball of energy that omits such a huge range of powerful, dangerous emotions. Jasper is high just about 24/7, yet I can tell how intelligent he is when he lets his real personality shine through – he hides beneath a stoner facade. Emmett is untrustworthy and makes snap decisions to improve his own life, never minding who he steps on to reach his achievement. And then Edward; beautiful, moving Edward - with his cocky guise, his James Dean front, his snappy wit and his explosive temper.

In that moment I realised that I shouldn't judge people based on their flaws – Forks high already had enough of that with the segregation between normal and abnormal. They weren't Freaks because of their imperfections; they were Freaks because they had something that everyone else didn't, everyone wasn't the same. They didn't wear matching pins, because each person needed a different pin, something that would describe them – a nickname.

I shouldn't hate Emmett because of what he did, because what he did was a part of him – a part that I wasn't even involved in and didn't know anything about. How did I know his true motives? Maybe Tanya really was desperately important to him, and he would do anything for her, just to be with her.

It's then that I realise how close Edward and I are together, how if I just leaned down I could kiss him. In the dark where no one could see us. I see him take in a breath and my hair falls forwards. He reaches up and tucks my hair behind my ear, and I imagine what it would be like if he would just lean closer. He looks down and then back up again and once again I am struck by how unearthly attractive he is.

So I push back, letting go of his fingers, stepping away from the desk. Of course someone like him wouldn't want to kiss someone like me. I'm lucky enough to have him as a friend; if I kissed him, everything would change – everything would be awkward and he wouldn't speak to me again. I just got these friends; I don't need to screw everything up with a temptation. I have to think about the consequences of just one little kiss; look where it could lead – Charlie and Renee don't even talk anymore.

And how would Alice react?

No, a kiss was never simple when it was with someone that you liked.

I folded my arms across my chest and looked up at him.

"For the record," he whispers, his voice croaking a little, "I trust you completely."

...

I don't get a chance to acknowledge Emmett in Math, because as soon as I get in Mr Varner starts the class, and we all sit in silence. But when the bell signals the end of the lesson, and he starts packing away his things, I head over to his desk.

"I hope you're not mad at me for hurting your girlfriend." Emmett jumps when I speak to him, almost as if he was in his own world. When he stands up and finally looks me in the eye, I can see that there is something missing, a spark to his mischievous blue eyes. I hate that he is sad, and if I can do anything to improve his mood, I would do it.

"No," he says, averting his gaze and clearing his throat. "No, she was a little crazed out by it, but she shouldn't have said what she did."

"So she told you that she checked your phone, found my number on it and decided that I must be the one that you were out with for a whole night?" The tips of his ears turn a little red.

"Actually, she said you were threatening her after she mentioned that she'd been out with Edward before." My mouth literally flops open and the both of us just stare at each other. He squirms a little under my gawking, but I am so shocked and confused that I actually can't move.

For starters, what a fucking bitch! I threatened her? For the love of God, I'm angry but I don't inflict it on innocent people!

Also, for fucks sake Emmett! You risked the relationship of your family and friends to go out with your brothers ex? I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here, you're making it extremely hard!

And the highly devastating and disturbing fact that_ she_ went out with Edward. There's a possibility that he did things to her that make me highly uncomfortable. I don't think I can possibly look at him the same way again, never mind touch him. I shiver.

Was she saving this up? Making it her next hit to me, so that she can tell me all about her and him and what they did and...Oh God, I'm making myself nauseous.

...But then, why should it bother me? So what if I have an unrequited crush on Edward? He is a _very_ good looking boy, who also happens to be my friend, the closest friend that I've probably ever had. Not to mention, I've known him for such little a time, there's no possible way that she could think telling me that would hurt me.

What would she gain from saying that?

Maybe guilt from Emmett – reminding him that she dated his brother?

Then again, how is that even possible? Unless Edward was a Greek, dating would be highly unlikely.

"Look, can you just say something? Your face keeps changing and you're making me a little dizzy just watching you think all of your thoughts."

"Well firstly," I say, my voice cracking, "I did nothing of the kind. She didn't even mention Edward; it was all about you and how you're a 'good boy' and how I had to back off. Why she would even _mention_ Edward makes no sense whatsoever – because why would that even force me to do what I did? How could saying that make me want to hurt her? Plus, it was self defence; I just grabbed her arm when she went to hit _me._" I left out the part where I goaded her into doing so, but I figured it wasn't helping my case. Emmett looks a little put out at my words, as if he's trying not to care about everything that I'm saying, but struggling to hold his emotions back. "Also, what the actual fuck, Emmett? Are you kidding me? You're going out with your little brothers ex? And how did that even work, Tanya's a Greek!" He lifts both of his hands to his head in frustration, rubbing his hair and then his face with his monstrous hands as if trying to rub away all of the emotions from his features.

"Tanya was new; she hadn't picked her crowd yet. She wasn't really a Freak – I mean Jazz hated her, so she never even got a nickname – but she went for Edward straight away, assuming that his leadership and his looks made him popular. It was only once she got to know the ins and outs of this place that she realised she wanted to be a Greek."

"...and you just swooped on in and grabbed the leftovers?"

"Chimes, please, don't make it sound like that." I was pretty sure I was just making it sound exactly like it was, but I walked besides him to Work shop anyway and didn't say another word about it.

"So...you're talking to me again?" He says as we pass Mr Aro who appears to have fallen asleep at his desk. I look at him and see that tiny spark in his eyes, as if he's hopeful that just one person won't judge him for what he did.

I think about what Edward said, about how even though everything was a mess outside, once he got into Wood Shop everything was like it used to be, and he didn't have to think about anything other than Emmett being his big brother. So if Edward can make an exception to forget everything – even if it is for only one hour – then so can I.

"I guess I am." I say and suddenly I'm crushed to his chest and his huge arms are hauling me to our corner. With one last squeeze he drops me down onto the bench next to Jazz.

"Well hey there, pretty Chimes."

"Hi. Nice hat." Today he dons a black top hat; it would be outrageous with anyone other than Jasper, but it suits him. I actually think Alice is one lucky lady; having a beautiful boy like Jasper, who is so smart, funny and quirky. It's like the two of them were made for each other – and let me tell you, they would make some stunning – albeit slightly messed up – kids.

"Why thank you, m'lady," he tips the hat towards me with a side smile; "I think it makes me look professional."

"That it does, Tex." Edward says coming to sit down with us, smiling at me. I try to smile back, but I just picture Tanya in my head, running her hands all over him, kissing him. He frowns at me. "Are you alright?" I lift my eyes to look at Emmett, who seems to know exactly what I'm freaking out about and watches me curiously. I give a terse nod, which Edward doesn't seem to appreciate, because he looks like he's going to reach out for me.

I don't know if I flinch, or if my stature tells him not to touch me, but he pulls back and lets out a frustrated sigh, pulling at his hair so hard it looks like it hurts.

The silence is tense as I pick up my scheduling paper and begin to look over my notes; I can see out of the corner of my eye that Jasper is watching me closely with narrowed, intense eyes. Then he flicks over to watch Edward.

"So," Jasper says, taking off his hat, twirling it around his hand and then plopping it on my head; it's too big, so I have to push it up out of my eyes. "A nun, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar..."

...

"What's going on?" Alice asks me as Edward walks ahead towards his car and both of us stay a few paces behind.

"Nothing." She does an almost comical glance between both of us, like she's watching a tennis match. She looks a little torn.

"Well, weren't you both super friendly this _morning_?" She waggles her eyebrows like a cartoon character and I roll my eyes.

"Nope."

"But Rose said that-"

"Rose was mistaken, we're just acquaintances." She glares at me and then slaps my arm.

"Stop it. Whatever he did, forgive him. I'm going with Jazz; you sort this out, now!" She yells at me and I stop and watch her with wide eyes. Suddenly she's not shouting anymore and she says in a completely even and sweet voice. "See you tonight! Love ya!" I watch baffled as she scurries away and leaps onto Jasper's back, completely normal. I think she has a personality disorder.

When I get into the car, Edward doesn't say a word. He doesn't even ask about Alice. He pulls out of the lot and gets onto the main road, nothing but awkward silence between us.

"Okay," I say after what seems like hours of my inner monologue punishing itself. "Stop the car."

"What?" He snaps, but he doesn't look over at me. "No."

"Stop, now." He keeps on driving but then smacks his hands down on the steering wheel and pulls off into the side of the road.

We both sit, and his breathing is a little irregular. I open the door and get out, walking around to his side and leaning against the side of his car. He eventually gets out, albeit angrily, and slams the door fully behind him.

"I really don't understand you at all, Isabella." I just let him rant, pacing in front of me a little. "I mean, didn't we hit it off the other night? I thought we were friends now, I thought we trusted each other. You told me about-" He stops and puts his arms on either side of me, trapping me against his car. "About all of those things...About your family. You don't understand how hard it is to trust new people, Isabella, you don't-"

"I know about you and Tanya." He stops talking, and does this kind of choke thing that would be comical if the situation were different. "It just freaked me out. I do trust you, I was just scared that...um, I mean...I was just angry that..." He looks up and suddenly he's awfully close and the rest of my words come out a stuttered mess. "She'd hurt you." I finish, in a small voice, trying my best not to look into his ridiculously deep eyes.

I can't even stop my arms from snaking around his shoulders, or my nose burying into his neck. It's like somehow he's some kind of magnet and I'm a big old hunk of iron. A magnet with magic hugs. When his arms finally move to circle my waist, it's like my insides have turned to goo and my skin is prickling hot; I feel like a marshmallow on a camp fire.

I think maybe I'm going crazy.

"I'm really sorry." I say, for overreacting and being weird after we'd just established our trust.

"So am I." Is all he says, and I'm not really sure what he means, but it doesn't matter because his arms are still around me and I feel safe.

"We need to stop doing this."

"Huh?"

"The dramatising...or maybe it's just me. I don't mean to do it – overreact to everything I mean. I'm just a really messed up person – you said that yourself – I think all of this new information and all of these new rules with the Greeks and stuff is starting to stress me out. I've only been here a few days and already my head feels like it's going to explode." His hand is on the back of my head, tangling in my hair.

"No, it's my fault." He says and pulls back a little. "I'm just really irresistible; your brain must get all muddled up around me." My mouth drops open, but then after a second I hit him in the chest and push him back.

"Asshole." I say getting back into his car; but I grin at him and he chuckles and then follows suit.

...

"So," she says throwing bags of marshmallows at me and turning off the light switch with her nose, "Ten inch Hero or Keith?" I love both films. One, Jensen Ackles, and two, Jesse McCartney. It's a 10 and a 10 on the hotness scale.

"Both? Duh." I reply my feet on Rosalie's knees as my legs sprawl across the couch. "Is it wrong that I want Jesse McCartney?"

"Dude he's like 20 something now." Rose replies, sipping her hot chocolate and getting cream on her nose.

"But he looks so cute and young – wasn't he on like Disney or something?" I say and Alice decides it's appropriate to throw herself over my legs and clamber in between us on the couch. She presses play on the DVD and then grabs all of the junk food she brought through from the kitchen.

These Cullen's and their junk food; why are they not obese?

"Who cares," Rose says, fanning herself, "I would _not_ kick that fine morsel out of my bed."

"Oh God, what if he sang Beautiful Soul?" We all moan in tangent.

"I prefer him with dark hair."

"Agreed. With the blonde, it would look illegal. But with the brown hair...Oh mother may I."

"And Jensen with guy-liner? Holy beejesus, how is it fair that he looks better than me in makeup?"

"Ugh, those broad shoulders? Fuck me...No, I'm serious, I want him to fuck me."

"For all that is holy!" We all look up at the doorway connecting the kitchen to the cinema room. "I came down here for an innocent glass of water, not some dirty erotica about two guys, which - quite frankly - are average looking." I roll my eyes, deciding that actually I would take Edward over both Jesse and Jensen.

Ah, stop thinking molestery thoughts.

"Jealousy." Rose says with a shake of her head.

"Maybe you shouldn't be listening to our conversation." I say, looking up at him sardonically.

"Are you kidding? I could hear you from the hallway." I notice he's wearing those glasses again, and it just about kills me. I clear my throat and look away.

"Did the glass you had pressed up against the wall aid your hearing?" Rose says making me laugh.

"Whatcha watchin'?" He asks, ignoring her. He comes up to the couch and pushes me away from the edge, sliding in behind me and squishing us all up.

"Dude, What the fuck?" Alice says from on top of Rose. "If I'd wanted boys invited to the party, I would have asked Jazz around. However, this is a strictly girls only area."

"In other words," Rose says, picking up a pillow and throwing it to the other side of the seat, smacking him in the head. "Get the fuck out."

"Oh, come on, I'm bored." He says, looking at me as if he needs my permission. I roll my eyes again, and nudge him with my shoulder, which seems to be pressed up against his side. I pull my legs out from under Alice and fold them under me.

"Let's just watch the movie. Pretend he's not here."

"Nice." Edward says dryly, nudging me back, but then sneaking his arm across the back of the couch and stretching his legs out in front of him. I notice how my body subconsciously drifts towards him, so I fold my arms and do my best to concentrate on the film.

"Oh, when he does that face! Just take me, right now!" Alice says and I can feel Edward stiffen beside me.

"I know right?" I reply, deciding I might as well mess with Edward while I can. "I just want to lick him." This time Edward is completely rigid, eyes straight ahead on the screen, jaw tight. Unfortunately for me, I can't help but keep glancing at those sexy as hell black rimmed glasses. Why is that such a turn on?

"Right?" Rose says, smiling kind of evilly as if she too wants to torture Edward. "My soul for a ride on that." I snigger, she's so vulgar, yet so very, very truthful.

"It's his lips that do it for me; he looks like a fuck hot kisser." I bite my marshmallow and then lick the dust off with my tongue. Edward lifts one leg up and props it up on the couch, kind of blocking me away from his body. I'm a little upset, and yet his leg is touching mine, so I don't really mind.

"God, his eyes!" Rose says, a hand to her chest, kind of breathing a little heavily.

By the end of the movie tears are prickling my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Alice, however, is bawling like a baby, her phone pressed to her ear as she talks to Jasper.

"-I know you told me not to watch it again...that doesn't stop it from being good...Jazz!-" I chuckle at her and wipe at my eyes, trying to be discreet. Rose isn't crying, but I can see that it has hurt her.

"Hey," I whisper across Alice, "You okay?" I mouth. She seems to look through me for a moment but then nods. I wonder what ever happened to her; she seems really affected by love, or maybe it was the loss of love that made her upset?

"I'm getting a drink." She says and stands up, walking to the kitchen. I go to stand up to go after her, but Edward's hand snakes around my wrist and pulls me back. Alice stands up and walks to lean against the door, still talking into her phone a little too quickly. I feel for Jazz.

"Thorn doesn't do talking. She likes to work things out herself." He murmurs, his eyes a spectacular green through his glasses.

"_Rose," _I say with emphasis on her name, "Is a girl. We share our problems, hoping that someone will help."

"Trust me," he says and I notice that his arm has slipped off of the back of the couch and sort of around me. "_Rose_ wants to have a minute to herself. She's one who bottles things up and lets out her frustration with bitchy retorts. Just like you and your...um...fiery temper," I narrow my eyes at him, "and Alice and her mood swings. Girls are crazy." I slap him on the arm. The very strong arm. Fuck.

"Did you like the movie?" I say, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I guess. It was sad. Kind of lame." I groan a disgruntled sound.

"Ugh, why can't you understand? He changed her completely, in such a short time – but she didn't get to keep him." In the dark, his eyes seem to sparkle. I can feel myself floating forwards.

"He ruined her life."

"He didn't," I say, shaking my head, "He opened her eyes and let her appreciate life."

"Let's face it, it was a girly movie."

"Well, this is girl night. You've just interrupted." For some reason my voice has gone semi-dreamy. I'm starting to wonder if maybe the influence of Jazz is starting to make me high.

"You didn't complain."

"I didn't, did I?" I shake my head sharply and then reach out and pluck his glasses off of his face, throwing them across the room.

"What the hell, Swan?" He says, looking confused.

"They were...distracting..." He looks baffled, but doesn't say anything else, and we wait in silence until Rose and Alice come back before we put in the next movie.

**I think you can probably tell from my spelling that I'm not American; I'm actually Scottish – I always have to scour through my writing just in case I've slipped the odd 'aye' or 'wee' in there. Not good. **

**I watched Keith for the first time a few weeks ago and I haven't been able to get it out of my head, it was so good! I really recommend it; it's sad, but the banter is ridiculously impressive. Who knew Jesse McCartney could be a serious actor? ...and fuck hot too. **


	9. In The Rain

**A/N So, lots of things happen in this one. Let me know what you think about it, I would appreciate your comments. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I do own crazy Chimes. **

**Chapter 9**

**In The Rain**

I wake up in my sleeping bag; Alice is in hers right next to me and Rose is fast asleep, curled up in a ball on the couch. I don't remember getting into my sleeping bag, and Edward doesn't seem to be anywhere to be seen.

I check my phone; 3:47AM. Jesus, why am I not asleep?

But then I hear it; outside the window, hammering down on the driveway. The rain.

I don't know why exactly I do it, but my body just seems to move at its own accord. I watch my feet as I wander into the hallway and then climb up the first flight of stairs, and then the next, reaching the bedroom that overlooks my house.

Once I'm outside the door, I freeze. What am I doing?

I should go back downstairs.

But my hand moves out and twists the doorknob, eases the door open. It's only once I'm inside the pitch blackness that I knock on the door. I can hear someone breathing, and I hope to God that I haven't accidentally walked into the Cullen parent's bedroom.

When my eyes adjust I see his figure, lying face down, spread out over the entire bed, one arm beneath his pillow. I knock on the door again, a little harder. But he doesn't move at all.

I walk over to the bed, dodging what looks like a pile of clothes on the floor. Once I'm right up next to his bed, my breathing stops. All I can hear is his soft, steady breath and the assault of rain on his balcony. He is shirtless, his entire back on display, his sheets tangles around his waist.

Oh dear God, is he naked?

Please be naked.

Fuck, please _don't_ be naked.

I suddenly want to turn and bolt out of the room, but I figure my luck would be to trip and taken down his wardrobe, waking the whole house up.

I reach out and press my fingers lightly up against his broad shoulder. His skin is hot and hard and I have to steady myself for fear of melting. I've never felt this way before; so utterly physically attracted to one person. Like all I wanted to do was touch them and never stop; it was freaking me out to be honest, and I desperately needed to get out into the rain before I spontaneously combusted.

I shake his shoulder twice before he makes any sign of waking; he moans and I actually feel my knees weaken. I sink down onto the floor so that my face is level with his and then shake him again.

"Edward." I whisper into the dark, ghosting my fingertips across his shoulder to the back of his neck. He moans again; deep at the back of his throat, heavy with sleep. I feel sort of guilty for trying to wake him up whilst he looks so gorgeous, adorable and peaceful at the same time.

"Bella?" He sort of mumbles, rolling ever so closely, but still not opening his eyes.

"Wake up." I try again, not able to control my fingers from stroking from the nape of his neck and down his spine.

His eyes slowly blink a couple of times before they settle on me, his face an adorable mask of confusion.

"Are you okay?" He croaks, pushing up onto his elbows. I pull my hand away from his skin, and it tingles at the loss of heat.

"It's raining." Is all I manage to say, like some psychopath. Oh God, what's wrong with me? Am I truly going insane? What am I doing?

"Okay." Is all he says, before sitting up. He takes the sheet up and secures it around his waist, looking strangely panicked for a second before propping up his knees. "Uh, pass me my shorts?" I look away from him with a blush and feel around for the material on the floor, finally scooping up what feels like shorts and giving them to him.

A second later he has stood up and is hauling me up with him with his hands on the tops of my arms. We stare at each other for a minute.

"Thank you." I mouth and then walk over to his window, moving the papers away from his bookshelf. I clamber out and inhale deeply; everything smells fresh and natural, it smells like safety. He follows me straight out, sans shirt.

I'm suddenly scared that this is going to ruin it for me, what if all I can think about in the rain is shirtless Edward? What if I can't relax anymore and I end up snapping all of the time? No one will ever speak to me again.

Edward is watching my face; the corner of his mouth pulls up as he sits down on the ledge and pulls me down with him. As soon as we are out from under the semi-concealment of the roof, the rain hits us hard. And it's fantastic.

I feel my eyes close and my mouth break into a smile. In seconds my clothes and hair are plastered to my body; the water making a drum beat on my cool skin. I lie back and feel Edward do the same, he's so very close, and the rain is so very intense. It's like all of my nerves are on overdrive, I'm being electrocuted from the inside out.

After a few moments, his fingers graze mine, and my hand dips around his. My fingers lace through his and his thumb presses my wrist, right over my pulse. I wonder if he can feel it, my heart thundering unsteadily and frantically.

I don't know how long we lie before I feel entirely heavy and clear. My head slumps to the side to face Edward, and when I open my drenched eyes, he's staring right at me.

"Why did you hate me when we first met?" I say, for no reason other than nagging curiosity.

"Hate you?" He says, with a derisive sort of chuckle, "I didn't want to be friends with you because I didn't want you to be a Freak." For some reason this is an insult to me and my fingers loosen against his.

"Oh." I turn my head to look back at the crying sky, but his other hand finds my chin and pulls me back to his eyes.

"When I saw you in the rain, I thought that-" he stops and licks a droplet of water from his lips. It's hard to concentrate on his words. "I thought you were the most...beautiful and otherworldly pure creature I had _ever_ encountered. I didn't think anything that amazing to look at could be good for me. I was scared that you were going to be another Tanya...but then I saw you again, and you talked to me, and I wanted to protect you, never let anything happen to you. Then _Tadpole_ called you Chimes, and I knew that you'd already made your way straight into danger. If they...Bella, if they hurt you...I don't know what-" He leans over so suddenly that when his soft, wet lips capture mine my breath is caught in my throat. His soft lips meld to mine for the longest second, before he pulls back. I don't open my eyes though; his nose grazes mine, and both of us are breathing heavily, from the cold or from the shock of the kiss, I don't know.

I feel him tentatively inch forwards, both of us waiting for something. The rain seems to slow a little, or maybe it's time that slows down. All I know is I've never felt so anxious, scared, excited and turned on at the same time. My stomach tightens, and we both wait an eternity.

Then his lips are on mine again, and it's not a lingering peck, it's heavy and hot as hell.

He pushes forwards, bringing up our linked hands and pinning them above my head. His lips move slowly at first, but I push up and suck his bottom lip in between both of mine. He hisses and responds, kissing deeper, running his hand down the side of my soaking t-shirt, pressing his drenched, bare chest flat up against me.

The rain pounds on, hammering my fingers as I scratch my nails lightly down his strong back. I push down and trace the band of his sopping shorts, his mouth moving from my own to kiss down my jaw. He attacks my neck and I can't help but moan and writhe beneath him. I realise that I'm whimpering and shaking, but the rain encloses us and protects us. We are alone in our bubble.

But I'm starting to get cold.

Almost as if he reads my mind, he sits up and pulls me with him, both of us managing to stumble ungracefully back into his room before he strides forwards and takes my mouth with his again. Now without the rain distracting me, his kiss is wicked and wild, fervent and heavy - like he thinks I'll disappear in seconds.

His kisses are so perfect and amazing that I suddenly wonder how much practice he has had. Right before his tongue strokes mine, and my brain turns to smoke and wisps out of my ears. I pant and groan and he breathes into me, his full lips moving so perfectly in sync with mine. So devilishly wonderful.

We're both shivering and we tumble beneath his sheets together, not breaking our hold on one another.

I bury my hands in his hair and he growls at the back of his throat, making my eyes roll into the back of my head. His fingers slide into the waistband of my shorts, peeling them ever so slightly from my skin, fingers gliding across my hip and squeezing my ass. I squeal and grind my hips into his. I roll us over, straddling his hips, pulling his head up to meet me again, tugging on his hair.

He presses against me hard, brushing my warm centre and making the tops of my thighs tingle.

"Oh my God." I find myself moaning in a whisper against his mouth, pushing back against him until he hits the spot right again and my eyes squeeze shut and my hand tighten in his hair.

I feel his hand slide down from cupping my neck, tracing my collar bone, pushing the sleeve of my top along with my white cotton bra strap down my shoulder, his fingers drawing tiny circles in my skin as he edges further down. I grab his lip between my teeth and he hisses, pushing his hips back up again making me gasp and pant.

His fingers dip beneath the top of my soaked bra, rubbing the gooseflesh skin, rubbing lower and lower until he's pressing his entire hand up against my breast. He moans, circling my nipple with his thumb. My head falls back, letting my wet hair trickle water down my back. His lips are back on my neck; he's kissing and licking lower, moving his hand and his tongue in time.

"E-Edward." I manage to say, sounding ridiculously breathy. When his lips wrap around my nipple I moan so loud I'm worried I've woken up the whole house. Edward doesn't seem deterred though, swirling his tongue around my flesh. He uses the hand on my ass to pick me up and turn me around, pressing my head into his soft pillows. The cold air hits my chest and I pull him down so that his chest is covering mine.

"You're so beautiful." He says slowly, pressing his lips once against mine, and I search his eyes to look for a punch line. He thought _I_ was beautiful? Had he ever looked in a mirror? Or even looked at Rose?

"Please, don't say that." He frowns, and stops pushing his hips into my side.

"Why not?"

"I just...don't think..."

"Isabella, when I saw you, your face kept me up at night. I had to keep asking Alice about you, I needed to see you. I couldn't take my eyes off of you, even when I knew that I had to. How could you not notice that? Don't even try to tell me you're not beautiful, because to me, you're exquisite." I blushed and looked away.

"Don't say things like that." His eyebrows furrow, and he looks confused. He holds his upper body off of me, up on his elbows but his legs are tangled with mine.

"Why not?" He sounds a little like a petulant child.

"It makes me...uncomfortable."

"Me saying that your beauty haunts me makes you _uncomfortable?_"

"Yes." I say and mean it. I can't help it, it's not something I'm used to, and it's not something I believe. "Please, I don't want you to feel obliged to say things just because-"

"Oh for the love of God." He says and tugs my hand down with his, pushing it against his _very_ hard crotch. "Do you think I would have a permanent hard on if you weren't the most stunning thing I'd ever laid eyes on? I'm not even joking with you right now; I'm in constant physical pain." I roll my eyes.

"So looking at me causes you pain."

"Stop that. Stop taking my words and mixing them up. Do you think I'd want to do this," He lowers his mouth to my neck, kissing up beneath my jaw. "If," kiss, "I," kiss, "thought you," kiss, "were anything," kiss, "less than," kiss, "stunning."

"Please, Edward-"

"Look, just because you don't take compliments well, isn't going to make me stop giving you them. See, you've stolen all of my coolness. I used to be manly. You've made me all mushy inside. You know, before you, I didn't hug people. And yet, I seem to recall hugging you an awful lot. Not that I'm complaining...What?"

"I make you mushy inside?" I say, not able to help my smile. To this he rolls his eyes.

"Oh sure, don't accept me calling you beautiful, but love my emasculation. That's just fantastic." I lean up and kiss his pouted lips.

"You know, you're still pretty manly." I say against his smirking lips.

"Oh yeah?"

"Hmmm." When he kisses me again, it's like I've been thrown in a vat of water with a toaster. Everything is on alert; all of my senses feel heightened, my skin prickles and my eyelids flutter. "So um..." He makes a weird sort of groan sound when I pull back from him. "What's going on here?"

"You want me to talk you through it?"

"Funny. No, I mean...Not to sound like the cliché girl, but what exactly does this mean?"

"Well, not to sound like the clichéd guy, but does it have to mean anything?" I pull away from his embrace then, glaring up at him.

"Are you serious?"

"Okay, that came out a little wrong. What I mean is, can't we just see what happens, do we have to label things, or plan things...can't we just see where things lead?" I look up at him; this beautiful, sexy guy, half naked and wet on top of me, his ragged hair even wilder than usual, his lips a deep, swollen red, asking me to 'see where things lead'.

"Um, yeah. We can do that." I push him abruptly off of me, so much so that he rolls back and has to hold onto the mattress to steady himself. "I'm going to borrow this, okay?" I say, holding up his shirt and walking into his bathroom. I throw it on quickly, tie my drying hair up in a bun on top of my head and strut back into his room.

"See you later."

"Whoa, wait!" He bounds up to the door, and I don't dare look down at his bare, kind of shivering, chest for fear of losing my bitchy, nonchalant glare in favour of a drooling, lust filled pathetic look. "What's going on?"

"You want me to walk you through it?" I say with a meaningless smile.

"What are you doing? You should just stay here."

"Ah, but Edward, darling," I pat him on his cold cheek, "it's girls night."

"Alice will understand, we'll talk to her in the morning."

"And tell her what exactly? Look, I'll just say you found me sleepwalking in the rain, and lent me a shirt. It could happen."

"Alice will never believe that. Why don't we just tell her?"

"Or," I say, opening his door and elbowing him out of the way, "We could just _see where things lead._ Buh-bye." I kiss my hand patronizingly and shove it against his mouth, leaving him stood with his hand hovering in the air, almost running back down the stairs with my wet clothes under one arm, sliding back into the cinema room and tucking myself back into my cold sleeping bag.

I don't quite know what I just did; my mind just seemed to shut down. He told me I'd made him 'mushy' and that I was beautiful, and yet as soon as I make things remotely real, he doesn't want to label anything? And no, I mean, I get that.

Wait. What am I doing? Did I want him to ask me out? Never in my entire life have I wanted even the semblance of a relationship! I prefer to mess around with guys, _then _just leave them to their lives.

But then again, I've never truly gotten to know a guy before. With Edward it almost feels as though I want something more than just touching and kissing and...Anyway, maybe I want to feel something other than emptiness.

Which is fucking scary, because all I've ever wanted is what the rain gives me. Peace, serenity, and no drama. Why am I now _begging_ for drama? Longing for frustration? Because as far as I know, that is all relationships bring.

But how could I know that that's what I wanted with Edward? For all I know he was just horny or something, he didn't actually mean anything that he had said. He'd wanted to hook up.

Is that what that was? A hook up to ease some tension?

But he hadn't gotten off...had he?

All I know is Alice would be asking questions in the morning, and my cover story was lame-city.

...

I wake up sneezing. And not the cute sniffle; a full on building-shaking sneeze.

"Jesu Cristo," Rose mumbles stretching up like a cat.

"Earthquake." Alice tries to joke, but she's mid yawn. "Hold on." She says through sleepy squinted eyes. "What is this?" She tugs at the sleeve of the T-shirt I am drowned in. She's like freaking Columbo.

"Clothes? Was I not supposed to wear any? I didn't realise this was _that_ kind of slumber party."

"As _hi-lar-i-ous _as I find your sarcasm, especially at the ass crack of dawn-"

"It's 10:45."

"-I think you know as to exactly what I am referring? My brothers clothing, Bella? Can I not close my eyes for ten minutes without you ripping off his shirt?"

"Okay," I say sitting up and pushing my bangs out of my heavy eyes, "to start with, he leant me this t-shirt, because mine got all wet-"

"Score!" Rose screeches at the same time Alice pulls a disgusted face and yells, "God, Ew!In my own home!"

"Not that kind of wet...how is that even...? Wet from the _rain_ assholes. I was sleepwalking, and Edward happened to be coming down to get some water, he saw me walk out of the house into the rain. Then he brought me back in, gave me his shirt, and we parted ways - neither one of us naked." For the most part.

I look at the two sceptical faces before me.

"I'm not a moron."

"Nor am I, my frisky friend."

"You guys," I say, trying to hold back the slight hurt I felt from last night's occurrences and Edward's semi-rejection, "Please, that's what happened."

"But-"

"Okay." Rose says, noticing the look in my eye. We look at each other for a moment, and something in her demeanour is strange, it reminds me of her face after we watched the movie last night. So alone and helpless. I almost reached out and pulled her in for a hug – which would be incredibly weird, because Rose and I aren't the hug-ish type. We're more the fist pound, slight-nod-of-head kind of gals. Hugging girls is more Alice territory.

Alice sighs.

"Fine. I'll just invite you over to my house, so that we can have a laugh, eat all of _my_ food, watch _my_ DVD's and sleep in _my_ sleeping bags, so that I can be lied to. So that I can be _humiliated _and-"

"Chill your goose, Fry, now is not the time for your semantics. Chimes will tell us if and when she wants to. And not any sooner." Alice makes a petulant sound at the back of her throat, then stands up.

"Who wants pancakes?"

...

"Carlisle! Call the Cops! There's some random girl in my kitchen drinking my coffee! Oh, Darling, I'm just joking." Funny. "You're Bella. I've heard so much about you from...Alice."

"Hey, Mrs Cullen, it's nice to finally meet you."

"Oh, it's Esme," the beautiful woman with caramel coloured hair said, with a perfect breezy grin. "Mrs Cullen makes me sound old."

"Mornin' Mrs Cullen." Edward gets dishcloth slapped on the back of his head as he walks in with his greeting. My back instantly straightens, and Rose on the breakfast bar seat next to mine seems to notice.

"Everything okay?" She mouths, and I can only nod, a little half heartedly.

"Drama." I mouth back, and then cover half of my face with my coffee mug as Edward strolls by me, almost brushing my arm.

"Hey, Es, can I take a look at those scripts again? They'd really help me out for my next piece, which, by the way, you are coming to watch me rehearse, it's the last dress rehearsal." She turns to me, and I choke on my bite of pancake.

"I am?"

"Yup, after school on Monday."

"And what if I have plans?"

"Yeah, but you don't."

"But what if I did?"

"Ah, but you don't."

"Fine."

"Of course, sweetie, come on up to the library, I'll get them for you." She winks at me, scowls playfully at Edward and then links her arm through Rosalie's and hauls her out of the kitchen.

"Your mom's cool." I say as he walks in front of the breakfast island in front of me, leans his elbows on the marble-esque design and cocks his head to the side.

"Are we really going to talk about my mom?"

"'_Yeah, thanks Bella, she's awesome, I'm so lucky to have a mom who actually loves me.'"_ I say in a sardonic, generic boy voice. He breathes heavily out of his nose.

"Look, I don't know what last night meant to you, but for me, it was kind of awesome. And now that I've kissed you once, I don't want to stop doing that."

"Well, I think-" Except he's already pulled me half across the counter and latched his lips onto mine, making my mind light and I can't help but whimper a little. I pull back, "Don't think you can-" but his lips are back on mine again, and I find myself sitting my coffee down and wrapping my fingers around the back of his neck pulling him closer.

Someone clears their throat, and we both dart apart; I almost fall out of my chair and Edward knocks a pile of pans into the sink with an entirely too loud clatter.

"Just, uh, getting some coffee." The man is ridiculously handsome; with blonde, full hair, and deep, blue, compassionate eyes. I let myself drool for a moment. He smirks at Edward, whose cheeks are adorably red, his arms folded tight and one hand on his mouth. "Morning Bella."

"Mr Cullen." I squeak, before biting my lip. That is one fuck hawt dilf. I don't ask him how he knows my name, I just stay quiet until he leaves with a chuckle.

"Stop gawking at my dad."

"I can't help it, Daddy Cullen is _fine_."

"Don't call him that." I stand up and make to walk into the living room; but as I move, Edward follows, until he's almost stalking me around the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"Edward." I warn half heartedly, but my tone fades as his body comes flush with mine and pins me up against the wall.

"You have the most perfect lips." I stare up at him, feeling my knees shake as his tongue traces them.

"Odd thing to say." I try to cover, but my voice is breathy and it wavers.

"Do you know what I want to do with your mouth, Bella?"

"L-listen contently to my intelligent and witty conversation?" His lips ghost mine, as his hand snakes around my ass, lifting me up and leaving me helpless.

"I-"

"Guys, people eat in here." My feet hit the ground heavily, and I shove Edward's chest away from me, storming past a smirking Jasper.

"Why are you even in my house?" I hear Edward say as I stumble into the hall and press my palms up against my flaming hot cheeks. I run up the stairs just to get as far away as possible from him. What was I doing? Why was I letting him do that? I was a freaking black belt for Christ's sake; I should've just beaten his ass down.

I'll do that next time - that is if my brain actually decides to function normally when his skin touches mine.

I'm pacing the hall when I hear it; breathy moans. No, it's not the echo from five minutes ago in the Cullen kitchen; it's coming from the room on the other side of Edward's bathroom.

Jesus, Emmett has a girl in there. Oh my God, was Tanya in this house? How could Emmett do that to his brother?

I consider a few options; barging in there, setting off the fire alarm, throwing a gas bomb right on in there...but then of course, those come with setbacks, such as naked Emmett and possibly a law suit.

I really don't understand him at all; he seems like a big, loving, protective guy? Why would he chose a girl – especially a skank like Tanya – over his family?

Maybe he had ulterior motives? Maybe he _had_ to go out with Tanya?

Oh, that's stupid. Why would he _have_ to go out with that skankoid?

The moans start to get a little louder, and I figure I should probably take my ear away from his door – little weird position to be caught in.

I then realise that I don't actually know which room is Alice's. So I'm quite lucky when, as I'm rounding the corner in the hall, I bump into Esme.

"Oh, hi, which one is Alice's room?"

"This one, sweetie," She says pointing to the door on my left with her foot.

"Thanks, Esme."

"Of course," she grins at me, and it literally pulls at my heartstrings. Why don't I have a mother like her? "I'm glad that...Alice...has you." She says, in her sweet, slightly humorous, voice.

"Well l really like _Alice_."

"That's good." She says, and with another grin she's gone.

As soon as the door opens, I am assaulted by ribbons, fur and decoration. Alice's room is wild to say the least; the walls are turquoise, but it looks as though she has taken multicoloured spray cans and randomly sprayed them at the walls. There is a whole collage of pictures of Jasper and her hung on her wall, fur lined mirrors, a thick, stripy vibrant carpet, a fluorescent pink chaise longue at the end of her queen sized bed, that is decked in so many cushions I'm surprised I can see the purple duvet beneath them. It's just so...Alice.

I can't even help the huge grin that takes over my face as I look around in wonderment and slight fear.

"Welcome to my humble abode," she says from her perch on the patchwork seat in front of her vanity mirror, which is framed by pictures, bottles of perfume, pieces of extravagant jewellery and expensive makeup. It's like organised chaos, and it's fantastic. "The emergency exits are to your left, please take your seats, it's going to be a bumpy ride."

"You're a strange one." I say flopping down onto her bed, and giggling a little as her pillows bounce.

"Like my room? The parentals told me to do what I wanted; Esme encourages creativity, she was thrilled by my decor. I mean, she helped, along with Carlisle's trusty credit card, but this is all me baby." She finished applying her black liquid eye liner and spun around in her seat to face me. We both sat in silence, her Cheshire grin begging me to tell her something, _anything_.

"I'll tell you about last night, if you promise not to freak out." She squeals, but my look makes her mime locking her lips. "But please, be gentle. I'm not used to talking about things like this. I've never had friends, or even a mother that I could confide in about boys, and to be particularly honest I don't really think it's something that needs to be talked about," she makes to interrupt here, but I hold up a hand to silence her, "but you've been incredibly kind to me, and I love that I have a friend like you who I feel remotely comfortable with, and I can trust to listen to what I have to say."

"To begin with, Bella, I'm your friend, of course I am, and I don't understand at all how it is possible that a girl like you has never had proper friends. In fact, I feel privileged that you would consider me your friend, and of course you can trust me. I may not be the quietest or most stable girl in the world, but I know when to keep my mouth shut. I'd never betray you."

"Here goes," I say, and her face jumps from sincere to excited in a millisecond. "I was in the rain last night...don't ask me why, it's my thing...and I was with Edward. And then he kissed me," gasp. "And I kissed him back," squeal. "And I asked what it meant, and he told me 'why don't we just see where it goes'...hey, that was actually a lot more simple than I thought it was." But she's not listening anymore, her face is a strange red colour, and it looks like she's holding her breath.

"Mother Fucker!" She screams all of a sudden, and I'm so startled I can't help but bark out a laugh. "I am going to rip his balls off!" She makes to leap off of the bed, but I restrain her.

"Alice, calm your passion. Remember? I'm the one that doesn't like relationships, I don't like commitment – I like to hook up, I don't want all of the _feelings _to go with it...but...I'm feeling feelings Alice. I don't know what to do. I don't know how I feel." She lurches for me then, cradling my head awkwardly in her strangely powerful arms. I'm not even exaggerating; my head is in a flowery smelling vice.

"Remember when I told you about Jazz, about how it was love at first sight, about how he's my soul mate? Well, he gives me those feelings, every time I see him, my insides get all twisty and he takes my breath away for a second...then of course, he says something completely irrelevant to any situation we have ever encountered, but he says it with that accent, and I fall in love all over again. I know that look Bella, I know you think I'm too young to be considering this. But Jazz and I are going all of the way; I can see it and I can feel it. If I can't have him, then I don't want anyone else." She pulls away, but links her fingers through mine, staring deep into my eyes with her huge pupils. "That's how it should feel."

"You're quite amazing, you know that?" She pretends to flip her hair over her shoulder.

"It's been said. The amazing Alice. The spectacular, the gracious, the wonderful, the powerful, the all knowing-"

"Let's not get carried away." She chuckles. We are silent again for a little while, and it's actually really nice. Alice's company is enjoyable, even if she's a little bit crazy. But aren't we all? "So, why are you called Fry anyway?" I ask, breaking the silence.

"Well, there's the obvious – I'm small. Small Fry. Ingenious, right? Also, Jazz said it's because I'm tasty." She adds with a wink. "Oh, and there was that one time that Emmett said to me 'why you gotta be so salty?' I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it." I just stare at her.

**I love writing Bella's little mental breakdown; she is a little irrational and illogical with her thoughts of Edward, but I think it fits her character. I also liked Alice in this one; not to mention the cameo of the hot Daddy C, I know I would. **

**I'm a little nervous about this one – I don't know why! I've just never really shared any of my work with anyone before.**

**Reviews are like cookies. I would like some, please. **

**Hope you liked it! **


	10. Changes Everything

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, I wouldn't live in the shittiest town in England.**

**Chapter 10**

**Changes everything**

I see his grin before I see anything else, and for some reason I sprint up to him and jump into his arms.

"It feels good to be loved." He says, squeezing me when I make to let go.

"You're back."

"You noticed."

"It's hard not to - I mean, you're so tall."

"I'm also very handsome."

"Well, there's that too." I can't stop the grin on my face as I stare up at Jake. His happy eyes trigger something inside of me, something good and pure. He knows that I'm happy he's back; he doesn't need me to say it.

"Ruh-roh." He says, with a comical loosening of his collar. "We should probably remain a safe four feet apart, looks like someone isn't very happy with our friendliness."

"Is that all this is to you Jake? You're breaking my heart here."

"Don't even joke," he says, with a slightly forced smile, "I don't want to get beaten up again." I turn to look over my shoulder, and catch Edward's glare, just as he looks down at his shoes.

"Ignore him, he's an ass."

"Oh, sweetness, I know that...But are you sure you do?" I frown at him.

"I thought you said you _didn't_ want to get beaten up again?" He puts his hands up in surrender, backing away just as Rose strolls up.

"s'up beeyotch, nice shiner you've got there."

"Ah, Thorn, your beauty and sweetness continues to baffle me." He responds, but with his joking tone lies an underlying respect and almost fear, as if by saying this he is taking a gamble, how she might not take his sarcasm that well.

"Be gone, before I make your face symmetrical." He smiles at me and then disappears into the masses of kids trawling up the school steps. "Well, he's a cutie, Chimes, but he's no Old English."

"You have no power here." I say, in a mystical voice, although there is a hint of touchiness to my tone.

"The auditorium – 4:10." She says and walks away; we are late today, and the crowd from the bike racks has mostly dispersed. I start to leave, not wanting to be outside alone, especially with the flock of cheerleaders at the base of the steps.

A hand snares around my arm, suddenly I'm spinning, and then my back is up against the wall. Back here we are almost hidden from view. Almost.

His nose grazes mine, his chest presses close enough to feel my heart beat, my feet are between his, his fingers laced through mine.

"Stop doing this to me." I hiss, but I don't sound convincing.

"Bella." Is all he says before his mouth covers mine, soft and slow. I struggle to breathe, and the breath that does escape, leaves as a moan. I pull him closer, melting into him. He's warm and hard, and his lips are perfect.

"Mr Cullen, Miss Swan, I do believe that school has begun." I push my hot face into Edwards neck.

"Sorry, Mr Banner," he says, pulling me up off of the wall, and trailing me behind him. "We got carried away." With his tongue in his cheek, Mr Banner leaves.

"That was so embarrassing." I say into Edward's shoulder blade. His chuckle vibrates my body. He hauls me forwards, leading me up the steps.

"How do I taste, Freak?" I stop in my tracks, one foot on the step, the other on the ground. I spin around, but Edward's hand restrains me from lurching forwards.

She's there, with her posse. She hasn't approached me alone; that makes me smug.

"Why don't you ask the entire football team?" I say, leaving my face blank, pushing my anger down, feeling Edward's thumb stroke the inside of my wrist. She grits her teeth together.

"You should watch your back."

"And you should stop spending so much time on yours." It's now that Edward pulls me away, I notice that he doesn't say anything in Tanya's presence, and it hurts me. Once through the doors he spins me around.

"You have to be careful." He says, and with his eyes closed and his agonised face, I don't argue. He leans down, and his lips brush mine once more. And my heart skips a beat. I wonder for a second if I'm dying, if this feeling I get when I see his face as he worries for me means that I'm having some kind of stroke.

I instantly hate myself; because I'm not that girl. I'm like Rose. I'm strong, and I don't need flowery emotions to keep me going.

"I knew this would happen." I struggle to say as my nose prickles and my eyes get glassy.

"What's wrong?" I bite my lip and push him back.

"Kissing someone you care about changes everything." And then I'm gone, because I want to pick up my words and somehow stuff them back into my big mouth.

What was I thinking?

Was I crazy?

I seem to ask myself this quite a lot. So I'm guessing that answers my question.

...

Biology is rough. My whole body is tense, and I can feel the warmth radiating from the thigh pressed up against mine.

_**Nothing has changed.**_

His pretentious handwriting begs me to answer, so I pick up my pen.

_**You know nothing.**___

He stares at the paper for a long while, and I suddenly wonder if perhaps I have broken him.

_**I know **__**you**__**. **_

This time I take the paper and scrunch it up into my pocket. He doesn't know me – no one knows me.

"Are you coming tonight, Old English?" I hear the voice and look up.

"I have things to do." He answers and Mike blinks as if this is the first time he's heard this answer.

"Well...uh...you're coming though, right Chimes?" My eyebrows furrow. "To my party?" I think of Charlie at home, and how we avoided each other the entire weekend. It will be nice to get out.

"Yeah, sure." His face breaks into a ridiculous smile, and I wonder if in his head, I've just agreed to marry him.

"Here's my address."

"You can go with me." We both turn to face Edward, who hasn't looked up from writing his notes.

"But I thought you had things-" this time Mike's voice is wary, and I suddenly pity him.

"My things are with Bella. If she's going, so am I." Mike sits with his mouth gaping for a bit, before he sees the disgust on my face, blushes, and turns around.

"You don't own me." I say to him, but don't look at him.

"No, but you own me." And then my heart is doing that thing again.

...

At lunch, I sit with Jake. Edward scowls at me, but the further I am away from him, the less I feel like I need to rip my own hair out. But it also means the less at peace I feel.

Being with Edward is like being in the rain, except I'm wearing a conduit and the lightning is striking me over and over again. The good thing is, I can't overload on anger when I'm with him. The bad thing is, my body wants other things instead.

"How do you feel?" I ask Jake, because Edward's glare is making me warm inside.

"Dandy, and yourself?" But he winces when his bottle scrapes his bust lip.

"You don't have to act like the big man."

"Ah, but I _am_ the big man." I roll my eyes and eat my food.

"She's staring at you again." Alice says from on top of Jasper, who appears to be asleep under his beret. Her tiny chin points to Tanya.

"We had a run in this morning."

"Did you hit her?"

"I'm not that unstable, Rose."

"I know - it's just funnier if you hit her."

"I think maybe we need to talk," Edward says, and I almost groan, because I don't want to talk. But then I realise that he's looking at Rose, Jazz and Alice. Are they talking about some kind of elitist Freak meeting? That's cool, and yet, if it's about me I'm going to be a part of it.

"Don't think you'll be talking about me behind my back."

And then he does that thing again, the strange prophesying intelligence that sounds so unnatural coming from his hooded eyelids.

"Chimes, you'd be there anyway." Jasper says and when Jake and a few other boys who have been eavesdropping catch their breath, I realise just how serious and important that is.

It means that I'm one of them now, not just part of the Freaks. Jake looks at me and his eyes look a little sad, like he can't talk to me anymore. I think of his wary expression as he talked to Rose, as if she were about to knock his head off. I don't want that. I return his gaze and try to express that nothing is different. But his stare only softens a little.

"Tonight," Alice says, "before the party, that way, we can get dressed together Bella!"

"Great?" I say, a little scared.

...

It doesn't pass my notice that people are looking at me differently now, obviously something very monumental happened today; whether that was a result of befriending Alice and Rose, or by kissing Edward.

If so, then I was right. Everything changes when you kiss someone you care about.

My God! There I am saying it again!

Stop it!

'_Care about?'_ What am I, a pussy? Gah!

By the time I'm sat in Edward's car at the end of the day, I feel strange, like somehow I don't deserve to be treated like I am. I mean, I've been here just a few days – and yet so much has happened. So much is different. It's like I arrived here one person, and quickly morphed into another.

It doesn't feel good.

And yet, old Bella was unaccepted and had no friends. She had no kisses, or parties to go to. Most of all, she had no Edward.

And that was suckish.

"You okay?" He asks as I watch Alice devour Jasper in a strange fixation through my window, her legs wrapped around his waist, one of his hands on her ass, the other on the back of her neck. I give my head a shake.

"Yeah, my head just hurts a little."

"You don't have to go to this party tonight you know, besides, it will end really late, and you'll be tired for school tomorrow."

"You don't have to try and talk me out of it," I give him a scathing look in the rear view mirror. "I'm going. I'll be fine. Just, don't let me drink too much, okay? If you think I get angry easily sober, you have seen nothing." He sighs heavily, looking as if he wants to protest me drinking at all, but he sees the quirking of my eyebrow and drops the subject, just as Alice launches herself into the car.

"Jesus, watch the upholstery."

"Thou shalt watch thy own upholstery."

"I hate you."

"Whoa! Stop!" Edward stops pulling out of the parking lot as I scramble to undo my seatbelt. "Shit, I forgot Rosalie's practice." They both roll their eyes at this one and Edward starts the car up again.

"None of us actually go to that shit." I make a disgusted sound and open the door whilst the car is still moving. Edward yells in protest but I cut him off.

"I promised." I say, slam the door of the car and walk away.

"7:00 at my house!" Alice calls from out the window, "Don't be late, sweetness!" she gives me a saccharine grin out of the window as the car drives past. I don't look at Edward.

...

By the time I find the auditorium, they've already began - Rose isn't in this part. I slip in a few rows from the stage; there are a few people dotted around on the seats, but I decide to sit as far away from anyone else as I can. I sit cross-legged on the fold down, aisle seat, placing my bag on the one next to me. I slip my glasses out of my bag, figuring I want to see everything as clear as possible for Rosalie's sake; I'm a little short sighted.

I grab my notebook and pen out of my bag, and then I twist my hair up on top of my head, securing it with a pencil. I note the actors, their character traits, their memorable lines; seen as I don't know their names, I record them through appearance. For example, pug girl – her face is all smushed up, like a pug.

Turns out, Rose is amazing; she plays the lead character, Acacia. From what I can tell, the play seems to have been written by one of the drama teachers; it's funny, with Shakespeare similarities, but in a modern way. Rose, knows exactly how to deliver each line; the perfect tone, the perfect facial expression, the perfect pauses.

She's rather ingenious, and perpetually fascinating to watch. Whilst I should be focusing on others, I can't help but watch her reaction, how she acts in the background with no insecurities.

With her stage makeup and simple costume she looks like a completely different person; so much so, that I start to forget that I'm watching Rose. Instead, I'm watching the funny, sweet, intelligent, slightly self-deprecating Acacia, with gorgeous flowing blonde hair, and sea blue eyes that stare deep into you.

This is why, at the end, I burst out in applause. Even though there are only a few other people in the huge hall; I can't help myself.

Rose is distracted, looking to the far row of seats, in the opposite direction to where I sit. I wonder if she's looking for me.

When her eyes finally meet me, she looks shocked and then incredibly pleased. She jumps off of the stage and saunters around to meet me.

"Well?"

"Yeah, you suck. Did you not hear me heckling?"

"Oh, was that you? I thought it was just the voice of friendship, shouting how fucking awful you are at it." I smirk at her.

"You were spectacular. No word of a lie – I couldn't keep my eyes of you the whole time." This is when her face lights up, and I am granted for the first time a true look into the beauty of Rosalie Hale. Her perfect white teeth full on display, her smooth skin wrinkled around her twinkling cerulean eyes, perfect blonde eyebrows carefree and arched and her face exposed from heavy black makeup.

"You look so cute with your little glasses." She says with a snigger, and suddenly she's back again.

"Fuck you."

"Anytime, gorgeous." I roll my eyes and she pulls my notebook towards her. "What's this?"

"Oh, I just took some notes for you. It's just about the other characters, maybe if you want to let them know about a few things that they could approve on...it's probably a stupid idea, but I figured I might as well do something productive whilst I was here."

"Where am I?"

"Don't be like that; you know you delivered your role perfectly."

"Honestly, Bella," she says, and I see the hint of insecurity in her eyes, "I need your opinion."

"You were mind blowing." I say sincerely, tapping my knuckle against her knee. She beams at me. "So, you ready to go? We've to be at Alice's at 7:00." She looks over my shoulder for a second.

"Uh, I've just got to go backstage for a second. Meet you out front?" she looks a little suspicious, but I don't question her, I just pick up my bags.

"No probelmo, Acacia."

"Oh and Bella," I turn around to look at her happy eyes, "Thank you. For writing the notes, for what you said and for showing up. It means a lot to me." I roll my eyes but smile.

"Please, I just did it so I wouldn't have to pay the ticket price to come watch it opening night." But she smiles at my sarcastic lie, and rolls her eyes back.

"Whatever, whore."

"Hurry up, bitch."

...

"Uh, Bella?"

"Yup?" She looks me up and down, and suddenly I'm self conscious.

"I mean, you look lovely but...this is a party." I look down at my shirt and skirt, figuring this is what someone would wear to a party.

"Yeah?"

"Well," Alice says, pulling me into her house, "this is a _Freak_ party." I notice that she hasn't even started getting ready yet, in fact she's in a bathrobe, with a towel wrapped around her head.

"So, I should have dyed my hair green and pierced my face?" She sighs heavily and drags me upstairs.

"No, but Freak parties tend to require something a little more...daring, and a little less punch and cookies." I glare at her, and just as she's about to drag me through her door, someone snakes his arms around my waist.

A kiss to my neck. Mmm, he smells good.

"What do you want?" I spit out, and I feel him chuckle against my skin.

"You can have her for the twenty minutes it takes me to dry and style my hair, but then I need her. Tick tock, Old English." She slams the door with a disgusted grunt, just as Edward spins me around.

"Hello beautiful, you're looking particularly...beautiful." He smirks; I notice his words are a little heavy. I hit his chest, walk around him and stroll into his room, taking a seat on his unmade bed. I lean back on my elbows, shuffling so that my feet just dangle off the end and my shoes fall off onto the floor.

"Alice says I'm not dressed appropriately."

"Alice shmalice," he says, with a cheeky grin, coming over to the bed. He puts one jean clad knee on either side of my legs, climbing up so that he's hovering over my body. "You look delicious." He bites down on my neck and his head wobbles a little.

"Oh my God, you've started drinking already haven't you? You bastard."

"Well, Mike only lives a ten minute walk away, and Tex brought tequila." I roll my eyes.

"Of course he did." I push his shoulders back as he starts to sway forwards a little. "And where is dear Tex?"

"He's downstairs with Rose in the game room, they have a bet on the pool table. Sibling rivalry." His words sound sleepy, and I suddenly wonder if this party is a good idea.

"Edward, maybe you should have a little water before we go, you don't want go catatonic at Mikes, especially on a school night."

"Aw, listen to you, getting worried about me." He pushes forwards now so that I'm lying back and he's floating just above me. I sigh heavily.

"I am _not_ carrying your ass back from Tadpole's." He kisses my neck again, and I can't help but tangle my fingers in the soft hair at the back of his neck.

"What did Charlie say?" He says, because apparently tipsy Edward is random.

"Nothing, we're not really talking. I just said I'd be out late and he grunted."

"Don't worry, I'll look after you." He says to my neck.

"I don't think you can look after yourself right now."

"I'm very helpful." I chuckle and roll him over; it's harder than I thought it would be, because he's fumbling like a toddler. He huffs when I push off of him.

"Stay," I order, like I'm talking to a dog, "while I go and get ready."

"Don't you want me?"

"What?" Did I suddenly turn into the guy and Edward suddenly turn into the girl? Wasn't he the one that told me we should just see where it goes and not get into anything serious? But then I realise he's not saying it in a whining voice, he saying it with a smirk.

"_Don't you want me baby! Don't you want me, Ohhh oh oh oh!" _Oh dear God. I just leave the room, leaving the door open a crack. "Call me!" He shouts after me, before chuckling to himself.

Stupid drunk Edward.

I turn to escape as soon as I open Alice's door, but she catches my arm.

"Oh no no, missy, welcome to Salon de Alice. Here you have your hair and makeup section, and right here we have your outfit for the night; a sexy blue leather dress and some navy studded heels...why are you looking at me like that?"

"Alice, I'm not a hooker, I'm not going to wear a leather dress."

"Dude, fuck you, that's my dress. I was going to let you wear it." Rose comes out of the bathroom then, her hair piled on top of her head; a short towel wrapped tightly around her but her makeup is dark and immaculate, with her black eye shadow fading into deep purple and ending in a point at the side of her eye. She looks like a devilish cat.

"Put it on, ungrateful child." Alice says, throwing it at me, "and then I'll do your hair."

"By the way, your brother is wasted already." She groans.

"He does that, he'll crash ten minutes into the party, and then he'll be fine. I don't think he likes being that drunk in a party full of barely clothed girls."

"...Why not?"

"There's another reason we call Edward Old English; We know that he fucks a lot of girls, but he'll never talk about it. He doesn't want to get so mortled at a party that he would do a girl and have everyone know about it. He makes her seem special; it's a little sweet, in a perverse, disgusting kind of way."

"Rose!"

"What? I said it was sweet!"

"He fucks a lot of girls?" I squeak, sitting down on the bed so that my dress reveals too much pale thigh.

"Well-" Rose starts but Alice shoves her.

"Not recently, he's been a little more preoccupied of late." I sigh and then let them attack me with numerous devices, slathering colour onto my face.

Somehow, in forty minutes Alice has managed to dress not only herself, but me too.

We stand and look in her full length mirror; I wink dramatically, Rose growls and Alice pouts like a glamour model, just as the camera snaps the photo. She prints it off quickly and sticks it to her collection.

I can't help but stare; there we stand, a short girl with inky black hair, standing up on its end, covered in different brightly coloured ribbons, her fluorescent yellow dress hanging off of one shoulder and sliding down her body.

Then there's the spectacular Rose, in a blood red playsuit cut too low to be modest; she looks deadly, with tanned legs that seem to run on forever and ice, white blonde hair, hanging pin straight down to her waist.

And then there's me, with my eyes looking deep and huge shrouded in heavy eyeliner. The blue dress clings to me like a second skin, and the studded heels aren't really necessary, what with me being tall already - but I comply, because I'm worried Alice will murder me. I have chains around my neck and my hair is a thick tangled mess. I look like a rocker, and I'm pretty sure, for this kind of party, it's a good thing.

I wonder for a moment, why we're going through so much trouble for a party? I mean, it's just one night! But Alice and Rose seem to think that getting this dressed up is no big deal, actually they act sort of casual about the whole thing.

"The boys are in the living room; we need to have our talk and then we'll walk down to Tadpole's. The guy's a cretin, but his parents are rarely home, so he holds some awesome ragers." Alice's voice calls me from the hall, and I take one last look in the mirror, before sighing and walking out.

"Ready?" Rose asks me, with a slightly evil grin.

"For the party?"

"No, for the horny drunkness that is Old English. He's a dog when he's wasted." I feel myself blush beneath my makeup. "Plus, when he sees how fuck hot you look, he's not going to be able to keep his hands off you." She winks as we walk down the stairs. Then she stops dead in her tracks and looks at me warily. "Don't get anything on my dress."

"Of course I won't." I say, confused at the turn of topic.

"No." She says, and suddenly I can see a little glint of mischief in her eyes. "Don't get _anything_ on my dress. No matter how into it he gets." I stare at her for a moment and then when it finally clicks, she cackles at the look of horror on my face.

I shove her down the last few stairs, but she only laughs more.

"Just for that, I'm making you no promises." Her laughter stops then and she shoots me a dismayed look.

"You know, I started it, but I've managed to repulse myself. You win."

"Hell yes, I do." I say, with a smug glance over my shoulder, before strutting into the room ahead of her.

I don't even have time to walk fully into the room before his fingers have dug into my hips and dragged me down to sit on top of him on the seat.

"Edward!" I whisper, shocked. But he just looks at me with an innocent expression, rubbing a hand slowly up and down the outside of my thigh. I push him off, trying to stand up without flashing everyone else in the room. It takes me a minute to detach myself from his clingy hands, but I manage to escape and leave him pouting to go and sit by Jasper.

I glare at him.

He doesn't want to talk about anything seriously, he'd rather just kiss me all of the time – and I'm not complaining, because, man, are his lips great! But for some reason, it doesn't seem enough.

Not to mention he is the closest friend I have here in Forks, as soon as he makes it all about a physical relationship, he'll ruin the friendship and then who will I feel perfectly comfortable around?

He throws his long legs over the arm of the chair, leans his hand on his chin and stares at me, not looking away.

"Stop it." I hiss from across the room, but he doesn't, so I just try to ignore him, but it's hard because he's _so_ pretty.

"Right, so I guess we should talk about why we're here." Alice says then, shaking her head at Edward, obviously deciding he is too far gone to bother about him anymore.

"Yeah," Rose inputs, "I think we're starting to reach the point where we have to do something." I stare at her.

"Hold on, you're talking about jumping one of the Greeks, aren't you." They all look at me.

"They got Wolf," Alice tells me, like this is news, "that means we hit back. I've explained this to you, Bella." She looks so pretty and bubbly with her beautifully stylish clothes, but for some reason, the way she talks about beating up another person as part of a game, makes her seem a little intimidating.

"I know, I know. I just think it's a little...barbaric."

"Chimes, it's going to be done with or without your support." For the first time, Jasper eyes aren't cool, they aren't relaxed – instead they're incredible piercing.

So I shut my mouth, because I was still new to this.

"Old English, you talk to the boys, I'm thinking we hit a boyfriend this time; it'll completely freak them out. And we need to get a big one too, because Wolf is huge." I don't yell at them that they're talking about human beings; but I can't help the lump that forms in my throat, or the stinging in my eyes as I realise that the people I've befriended can be cruel.

"You're probably best reminding him in the morning, I don't think he'll remember much from this meeting." Rose says and I look over at him and see that he's closed his eyes, half slumped off of the chair and looking like he is just about the slide right off of it.

"What about the whole Tanya thing?" Alice says now, looping her arm through Jasper's.

"Her fixation with Chimes, or her incredible skank-ness?" Rose snaps and I watch as her eyes shift angrily. Wow, she really hates that bitch.

"We can't just pretend like her obsession with Bella is nothing to worry about, she influences the whole group of them."

"I think Chimes has proved she can look after herself, just make sure you don't go anywhere alone where you might be cornered." Jasper's leg shakes impatiently as he says this, and I wonder if that's all he has to say.

I know that I need to stand up and speak out, I know that I can't just let my friends talk about severely hurting another person. I think of beautiful Jake and his bruised face; I'm surprisingly no longer scared for myself, but rather scared for someone out there, who doesn't have the same beliefs as me, they might even despise me, but still, I worry that they don't deserve what is coming to them.

"I think-" I go to say, but the living room door squeaks open and we all freeze, even Edward lifts up his head, his eyes looking a little more focused.

"Oh." Emmett says; he's in tracksuit bottoms and a plain white shirt, he holds a huge bowl of popcorn, and a bottle of coke is under his arm.

He appraises us all, but his eyes stop on Rose. He probably can't help himself; she does look ridiculously stunning – albeit sinister – tonight.

"The game is just about to come on," he states, his voice lower than usual, "do, uh, are you guys staying to watch?" He looks equal parts hopeful and anxious.

"No." Is all Jasper says, standing up.

"We're heading down to Tadpole's." Alice elaborated, although just as monotone as Jasper had spoken. I had a feeling they thought he was eavesdropping, but Emmett looked nervous, and so I just couldn't believe it.

"Okay." He said slowly, trying to smile. "You look nice." He mumbled with his eyes still on Rose.

"Thank you." She replied meekly, in a completely un-Rose manner.

"So we should go?" I squeak, and everyone nods. Jasper throws his arm around Alice's shoulders and leads her out. With her eyes on her shoes, Rose leaves too and Emmett's eyes follow.

I hold out my hand and Edward takes it with a smirk. I haul him up and drag him behind me, giving Emmett a small pat on the shoulder as I pass.

"You need any help, Chimes?" He says, eying Edward who seems to have glued himself to my back. I shove him.

"Nah, I'm good."

"You call me if anything happens." I don't know what 'anything' would be, but I give him a nod and a smile and then lug the huge drunk man-child out through the door.

**Reviews would be sweet.**


	11. We Party Too Hard

**A/N So, this one's a little short – I have another week until my holidays, so I just have to wait until then until I can actually sit down and write a real chapter. But a lot happens in this one; so review and let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight I'd be scared of all of the crazy fans. I'm not even joking, I wouldn't leave my house. Although, I guess I would have plenty money to pay people to go out and live for me so...**

**Chapter 11**

**We Party too Hard**

"Edward, just go through the fucking door."

"Don't you like it outside? I like it outside. Outside is nice." I push him again. The others have left me; when we strolled up to the house, the windows were dark. Alice explained that the party happened in the basement, and that to get to it you just had to go through the front of the house and down the stairs underneath the staircase.

I asked her why she was telling me where to go, before she cackled like the evil bitch she is and skipped away, leaving me to deal with a stubborn Edward.

"Edward, please...stop touching my hair! Come on." My voice had taken on a whining tone; but who could blame me? I was dealing with a six foot two toddler.

"Can we...Look, can we just sit outside for a sec?" His eyes seem a little more focused, and I think the fumbling stumble over to Tadpole's may have cleared his head a little.

"Okay, easy," I say lowering him onto the small brick wall that forms Mike's driveway. "Just take deep breaths."

"I'm sorry." He says, but he doesn't elaborate, so he could probably be apologising for anything. "I'll be fine in a minute; you can go in if you want."

"You'd probably end up wandering into some other person's house."

"I'm not _that_ drunk."

"Then why did I just basically have to carry you from your house?" He responds with a cheeky grin, and I retaliate with a punch.

"Hey, now. Less of the violence." He puts his head down and rubs his temples with his fingertips. "Okay, so we should talk."

"Maybe when you're not riddled with tequila."

"I'm perfectly level headed right now, thank you very much." I roll my eyes, but sit next to him on the wall.

"I don't think we need to talk about anything."

"Don't lie to me; this isn't going to work unless we're honest."

"What 'this' are you talking about, there is no 'this'." I pull the hem of my dress down a little, as sitting on the wall just about displays my panties to the world.

"I don't do relationships-"

"Neither do I." I splutter, defensively.

"Well, then what's the problem here?" He seems to be completely focused now, but keeps drawing in deep breaths of the cool air to clear his head some more.

"I didn't say there was a problem." I snap and stand up, smoothing out Rose's dress and fluffing my hair back up.

"You stormed out of my room the other night and every time I try to get near to you, you flinch." He stands up now, and I steady him with my arm when he wobbles. "I can't help that I'm addicted to you, I've had a taste and I can't help but come back for more." His lips draw closer to mine, and I can smell the liquor on his breath, sweet and heavy.

I stop him with a hand to his chest.

"So, you just want to mess around, you don't want to, I don't know, get serious or anything?"

"...Is that okay?" I bite the inside of my cheek. "You know how much I care about you, Bella, all I want to do is protect you. But I _suck_ at serious. I'm not even kidding. I'd mess it up and we'd end up hating each other. I don't want that, Bella. I want to be able to be with you without knowing that in a second everything could slip away." I look up at him, and my brain screams at him, screeching that I'm not Tanya, and that I was just as suckish at relationships myself.

But my pride rejects that thought, letting me smile with a nod.

And as soon as I descend the steps into the dark thumping music, I reach for the first red plastic cup I see.

...

"You want?" She asks me, the stud in her nose fascinating me.

"I don't smoke."

"That's not what I asked." She leans forwards, her fishnet tights ripped, her boobs practically spilling out of the black bustier, and her devil red lips blowing a soft puff of smoke right in my face. Her black hair hangs a little limp, but in the darkness of the crowded room, she seems to be almost invisible.

"N-no thanks." She leans closer again, her lips centimetres from my face.

"You're pretty." She says, cocking her head to the side. I giggle.

"It's dark." I snigger and her knee grazes mine.

"You want to go for a walk?"

"Nah, Chimes is fine here, aren't you darlin'?" Jasper slides right next to me on the leather bean bag chair. The girl hisses, but then, upon recognising Jasper, slinks away. "Jesus, we leave you alone for two seconds and the wolves descend."

"Fuck you, Tex."

"Ah, an angry drunk, why does that not surprise me?"

"I'm not even fucking drunk."

"Alright."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Tex, I didn't mean it." I hold back tears as I snuggle into his neck and his arm comes around me, holding me against him. He chuckles and I inhale his neck and whimper a little. "My head is really spinny."

"I know, baby girl, but you've been downing these cups like there's a prize at the bottom." I slap his chest a little too hard.

"Well well, _Tex._ Does Fry know you're here macking some hottie?" His voice is strange, like he's trying hard to hiss out his words. They hurt my brain. I wince.

"Piss off, Hound. This is Ol' English's girl." I push away from Jazz, and sway as I take in the blonde shirtless boy.

"I'm _not_ Edward's, we just mess around, we suck at serious." I'm pretty sure this is what I say, but from Jasper's expression, it may have been more slurred than what I was trying.

"Okay, Sweets, up we go, you need some water."

"Tex!" I whine, but can't help giggling as he steers me from behind like a race car. I might be making motor sounds. "Buh-bye Hound! Where's your shirt?" But we're too far away so I scream it over my shoulder. "Where was his shirt, Tex?"

"Stay away from him, okay? There's a few Freaks who've already graduated here." He pushes me through to the little kitchen.

I stop in my tracks and Jazz smacks into my back.

All I see is a bomb of frizzy hair at first, collected into a puff at the top of her head. Her midriff is bare - her boobs only concealed with a purple scarf tied around them. She's wearing a miniskirt, and thigh high leather boots. Is there a hired stripper? Because surely no one would dress like that unless she was making some money out of it.

But that's not what made me stop.

"Ah, Shit." Jazz says.

"Shit is correct, my southern comfort." I drawl, because there she is with her slutty mouth attached to Edward.

And he's not pushing her away.

He's right, he does suck.

Jaspers arms restrain me from firing like a missile straight at them, so I just wiggle free, scoop up a half full bottle of vodka from the table top and storm out of there, using the wall to stop me from falling.

And to be honest, I'm quite proud of myself for not ripping the hair out of her head. In fact, I didn't feel any anger at all. I just felt...empty. Which is weird. But comforting. Maybe I'm getting better. Maybe Renee will want me to live with her again when I'm not angry any more.

"Tex? Is that...Wait! I don't-" I hear, but I'm already gone, fighting my way through shadows and blurred outlines.

Up the stairs, through the living room, then the hall and finally out some screen doors to the backyard, straight into a cloud full of sweet, cloying smoke.

"Hello again." He's still shirtless, but for some reason he has a tie draped around his neck. "Decided to join us have you?" I look at the few other people, some sat in a circle in the wicker garden seats, others lying on the grass.

I shut the screen door behind me and join a boy on the floor, his eyes are puffed up and red, but he looks a little familiar and so I'm thinking he's in one of my classes. I open the vodka as delicately as I can, managing to splash a little on my leg.

"I have indeed." I say then, and Hound looks at his small circle of friends, shrugs and then joins me on the ground, the rest following suit.

"Where you from, gorgeous?" One of them asks and I roll my eyes.

"Here and there. Where are _you_ from?" The group of boys chuckle and pass a couple of spliffs between them.

"We're all Forks born and bred, baby." Hound answers, taking a swig of my vodka, and not taking his eyes off of mine as he does so. "So, what's a pretty girl like you doing with a knob like Old English?"

"Whoa, hold up, you're Chimes?" The boy who says this looks wary now, as if talking to me would anger Edward. For some reason it angers _me_.

"That's me! Because Bells Chime...Oh, my name's Bella. That's where Bells comes from...Or at least, I think that's what that means. What else does 'chime' mean, anyway? And what about Hound, what's _that_ got to do with anything?" I seem to be talking extremely fast, and the boys in a circle around me seem to find me hilarious, so I'm pretty happy here.

"It's because he's a dog." A boy with a shaved head and a skull tattoo on his neck is slapped when he says this, but I dissolve into giggles.

"My name is James Hunter, Hound is like Bloodhound; it's supposed to be funny, because I made it my mission in High school to chase all of the girls."

"Well, that's a little skanky." Skull tattoo thinks this is side-splittingly funny.

"That's what I was going for."

"Kudos."

"You want?" The boy next to me has a face that looks a little red, his muddy hair is a bit too long and he is so wearing guyliner. His nails are painted black, and a scarred, rough hand offers me the smoking stick.

"I, um-" but he's already placed it in my fingers. "I don't think-"

"It's okay, babe, you'll feel better when you take a hit."

...

He pushes my back up against the tree, his mouth sucking on my neck. My legs are cold, and I'm sniffling; I'm pretty sure there is mascara running down my face and my hair is a windblown, tangled mess.

He doesn't smell like he should; I inhale and get the musky scent of smoke, it's in his hair. I can't help longing for someone else's smell.

His shoulders aren't as broad either; I like boys with broad shoulders. Edward has broad shoulders.

His lips are too fast and desperate; they scratch my mouth and my chin.

His fingers are digging into my hips and my bag is scratching on the rough bark. I hope Rosalie's dress is okay.

One hand slips onto my thigh, pushing up beneath my clothes. I can't help but shiver. This isn't how it should feel. I shouldn't be frightened.

"D-don't-" I think it's me that says this, but his face keeps swaying side to side, and I can't focus.

It doesn't feel right; his cold body pressed up against me, hard and groping, his stiff fingers drawing patterns up my legs, hooking around my panties.

I don't feel good.

My hands are pushing at his bare shoulders, but they won't budge. He's too sturdy and I can't seem to get my limbs to move fast enough. It's like I'm trying to push through custard.

"Shhhh, Chimes, you're okay." He's not as drunk as I thought he was; back in Tadpole's yard he'd pulled me into the woods and stumbled, but now his hands were coordinated and his body was strong and controlled.

"Stop it." I try again, but my eyelids keep closing, and his hands keep pushing. His fingers squirming closer, under my underwear, pulling them down. "S-stop."

His body peels off me in a millisecond, and I slump forwards and onto my knees. They scrape across twigs and are cushioned in soft, loose soil. I put my hands down in front of me and try to breathe. Everything is moving.

Why won't everything stop for a second? Where is the rain? I need the rain!

Something lands in front of me with a heavy enough thump to disturb the earth.

I'm scared.

Hound has left me; I'm cold, alone and dizzy. I can't even stand up. What if there are bears? Or wolves? Or rabid badgers?

Are badgers dangerous?

They look sneaky.

I try to push the unsteady ground out from under me, but it falls away and I slump onto my side. I'm suddenly crying like a baby and holding my knees up to my chest.

When the hands scoop me up, I panic. I try to scramble, but my head is so shaky that I make myself feel worse. Something warm is wrapped around me before I am hauled up into the spinning air.

"It's okay, sweetheart." His voice tells me. "I've got you." And he does. He has got me. Even if he would rather have skanky girls sucking on his face, I don't want to kiss anyone but him. All I want is him, and I know that I can't have him – this makes me cry even more.

I shove my face into his neck as he carries me to wherever, and I wrap his shirt around my fist, holding on tight.

With every step he takes my whole body shudders.

I don't think we talk again for a while, but he never once stops or puts me down. So, his steps become a rhythm, and soon I don't think I'm very conscious.

...

"_Is she okay?"_ I don't know who says this; the voice is so familiar, but he's so far away.

"_She'd better be..."_

"_This isn't your fault." _I'm smothered in blankets, but I can feel myself shivering.

"_If I wasn't so wasted, I wouldn't have let Two-bit touch me, and she wouldn't have found Hound." _

"_You can't look after her all the time." _

"_Why not?" _

"_Because she's not yours!" _I try to open my eyes, but they are sealed shut._ "Sometimes, we don't deserve the ones we want." _I try to speak, but my throat whimpers. They sigh. "_Go on. Doesn't look like Charlie's home anyway, if he gets in, I'll tell her she's sleeping with Alice." _There are sounds that I don't recognise, shuffling and slamming.

"_Hey, wait." _I wait a few more seconds, feeling myself getting dragged back under by sleep. _"Thank you." _

My body is useless, when I try to move my arms they just flop about.

A few seconds later, my whole side freezes, before arms wrap around me from behind, and I am cradled to a hard, warm chest.

"Wha' happened?" I croak, as his hand envelopes mine and his fingers lace my frozen ones.

"I'll tell you in the morning."

"What 'bout school?"

"It's not as late as you think; you'll be fine for school, just maybe a little hung over." I push back against him, revelling in his embrace. I snuggle my cold bare feet under his legs and he jumps a little. I'm almost fully gone when he whispers, so quietly that I think I might have dreamed him talking. "I don't deserve you."

**I am actually such a neurotic, angry drunk. I also get embarrassingly horny when I drink. **

**But I digress. **


	12. Who We Love

**A/N Hey there! Hope you're still with me – went on a little break without my laptop...bad idea. **

**Anyhoo, everyone wave hello to my lovely beta ****Breath-of-twilight – ****go and check her out because she's awesome; she's keeping me in line.**

**So I hope you all like the next chapter; review and let me know what you think! **

**On with the hangover! **

**Chapter 12**

**Who We Love **

This is the second time I've woken up in Edward's bed; this time it's not as nice.

I pick his heavy arm up from around my waist and try to sit up. My head swirls around me and I groan.

This sucks.

I look back at him; his hair is wild about his pale face, his eyelashes so long they cast shadows against his cheeks, and his lips are red and pouty. Not to mention his arms look _fan-tastic_ in a white wife beater; How is it possible that even his arms are sexy?

I swirl my tongue about in my mouth, then grimace at the disgusting taste.

As carefully as I can manage, I fumble around his bed, trying my best not to fall or stub my toe. I feel my way to the bathroom door and then lock it behind me, making sure Emmett's side is locked too.

It's here that I finally sigh, my palms resting on the sink, not daring quite yet to look up into the mirror and repulse myself at my hung over state.

I look down at myself; I'm wearing Edward's grey hoodie, but Rose's dress is still underneath and my legs are covered in..._soil?_ What the actual fuck.

I decide to turn the shower on; I haven't looked in the mirror yet, and I guess it's probably best not to do so until I've wiped at least some of last night off of my body.

My brain doesn't feel much better underneath the boiling stream – seriously, their showers are like freaking waterfalls – but my body starts to relax, my shoulders unknotting and my neck stops throbbing.

I start to work the knots out of my hair – it takes a while. So by the time I've scrubbed my entire body, and worked some Edward smelling shampoo through my hair, my fingers are all pruny and the bathroom has steamed up.

I wrap a white towel around me, and dry off my hair a little, before working it into a long plait that falls over my shoulder.

I wipe a clear spot on the mirror with my palm and feel my heart sink right out of my chest and fall out of my bottom.

I'm even paler than usual, with big black shadows under my eyes, which are a little red and squinty, like I've been crying. My skin is sallow and almost grey; smudges of mascara that didn't fully wash off in my shower frame the corner of my eyes. Damn you, waterproof.

I look like shit, basically.

I can't even dream of how awful I must have looked last night.

Come to think of it, I can't even remember walking back to Edward's. And what about Charlie? Did he say I could stay over? Was he worried?

_Ha, funny joke, Bella. _

I pulled Edward's hoodie back over me, and slipped my panties back on, then folded up the dress and my bra and sat them on top of the washing basket in the corner of the room.

Then, I brushed my teeth with the spare toothbrush, rubbed some fancy moisturiser from the cupboard onto my skin, and then cleaned up the mess that I'd made.

Surely, you'd think two teenage boys sharing a bathroom would mess it up a little. But no – even the soap had a special holder. I mean, who does that?

Edward's still not awake; in fact, he's rolled further onto his front so that he's spread out face down on the bed. I would chuckle if I didn't feel like a zombie.

I look at his clock.

5:47.

Are you actually kidding me? I could have another good two hours in bed.

I'm never drinking again.

Then again, I never have learnt my lesson.

I shove him over – a little too forcefully – and slide beneath his covers, lifting his arm up to cover me. My wet hair makes me shiver, so I snuggle my nose into his shoulder.

He makes this extremely too attractive moan in his sleep, and pulls me up flat against him. I wrap my fingers in his cute little shirt, his arms bulging at the sleeves. I breathe in his smoky, after-party smell, and I locate a tinge of Edward underneath it all – he truly is spectacular, God surely didn't leave anything out on this one.

I doze until Edward finally wakes up and pulls me ridiculously tight against him. He rubs his face into my neck, hugging my waist.

"You know," I croak, "sometimes I like to breathe." Even my own voice hurts my head. He responds with a grunt, and I'm secretly kind of hoping he's as hung over as I am.

He does a weird shuffle against me then.

"...Are you not wearing a bra?" I'd blush if I wasn't so embarrassed about last night already.

"I used your shower; I couldn't be bothered to put it back on."

"I've always liked showers." His hand is creeping up under his hoodie, pushing it up and revealing my stomach. "I especially like that you're wearing my clothes." He slides his head down, his chin grazing my stomach before his soft lips kiss and lick their way up.

He looks up at me as he pushes the material further; we both watch each other. His nose slides up my side and around my breast before he kisses my nipple.

"Have I told you that you have perfect tits?" But I can't answer with anything other than a strangled yelp.

His other hand slides up the side of my thigh now, hooking his finger around my underwear. He asks permission with his eyes, and apparently I permit him because the next thing I know he's dragging the material down, excruciatingly slowly.

He kisses my hip bone, his eyes never leaving mine, then the top of my thigh, his fingers trailing a path down my leg. His mouth moves lower and I gasp, slamming my head back onto his pillows and squeezing my eyes shut.

He licks and kisses – I'm suddenly self-conscious that he seems to know _exactly_ what he's doing. But then his finger is inside of me and his mouth is sucking and I can't think things anymore.

I wrap my fingers through his soft, wild hair, making embarrassing noises that the whole house can probably hear. One moment his tongue is flat against me, and then he's swirling circles around my clit, and I'm bucking a little as a warm knot forms deep in the pit of my stomach.

He's moving with a rhythm; I add long fingers to the list of God given gifts that Edward Cullen possesses.

My breath is heavy and frantic as I tighten my fingers in his hair. My legs seize up and he sucks the little bundle of nerves hard, and suddenly I'm yelping and the warmth is spreading from my stomach and all throughout my body.

I flop back on the bed, chest heaving.

"You are fucking stunning," he says, his voice husky.

He crawls back up so that he's hovering over me, but I literally can't speak. I tug on his shirt, pulling it up and over his head, revealing his ridiculous abs and strong chest.

"It's like you're freaking photo shopped." I squeak in slight awe. I run my hands across his broad shoulders, pulling him to me.

Just as our lips are about to touch, a knock on the door startles us.

"Edward..." It's Alice. Why doesn't that surprise me? "We have to leave in, like, twenty minutes." His head falls to my neck, and he groans. He plants a kiss there and then pushes himself up, unpeeling himself from me and slapping his door on the way past to the bathroom.

"I'm getting ready."

"Well, hurry up." He glares at the door before stomping out of the room, muttering something about cold showers, and fucking cock blocking midgets.

...

Fifteen minutes later, I sit at the Cullen breakfast bar, donning a pair of Rosalie's jeans and one of Edward's long sleeved Beatles shirts. Rose being Rose, the jeans I have on are acid washed with rips across just about the whole of the material – there's even a rip across the back of my thigh, just below my ass. Classy.

"How's the head, Chimes?" Emmett yells sauntering into the kitchen and eating what appears to be a loaf of bread smothered in cream cheese.

"It would be a whole lot better if you stuck to your _inside voice._" I hiss, cradling my coffee. He waggles his eyebrows.

"Well, that's what you get for partying hard."

"Have I mentioned how much I hate you recently?"

"Ah, you love me really. Anyway, I gots to go – see you on the flip side, brah."

"I should probably also mention that you're very white."

"Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me."

"Leave."

It's only a few more minutes before Alice comes wandering into the kitchen. She looks fine, but her eyelids are so heavy that I can tell that she's not feeling so great.

"Mornin'," I grunt in response. "You okay?"

"I think so," I croak back, taking another sip of coffee. "I don't remember much."

"Yeah, me neither. We'll talk to Jazz today. He never gets too drunk; he'll know what went down."

"You both ready?" Edward suddenly appears behind me, leaning across me to grab an orange from the fruit bowl. I do everything in my power not to sniff him, but when his chest grazes against my back, I can't help but inhale.

"...Bella?" Alice says, a little worriedly.

"Uh...I mean...Yeah. Sure."

"Aw, babe," She clasps my chin in her hand, "Your eyes are wicked red; you're in for a tough day." I make a strange strangled sound and lean into Edward.

Today is going to suck.

...

"Are you coming?" Alice says, almost vibrating in her seat. I can tell that her hangover seems to have passed awfully quickly – it makes me angry.

"We'll catch up." Except it's not me that's saying this, it's Edward. I give him a questioning look, but the strange glance he gives me back worries me.

"Whatever," Alice says before she's out of the car door like a bullet.

"Some stuff happened last night," he starts, and I just stare at him. "I don't think you're going to like me very much when you find out."

"What did you do?" I snap, leaning away from him and up against the car door. A car pulls into the space next to us, but I keep my gaze coldly on Edward. There's a thick silence in the air, before he breathes heavily and then begins.

"There's this girl that likes to hit on guys when their drunk." I try my best to think, try to remember any morsel of last night, but it just hurts my brain. I can see where this is going. "Everyone calls her Two-bit."

"Did you fuck her?" It doesn't sound like my voice; I sound distant, like I'm listening to someone else's conversation.

"No! No, of course not!"

"Oh, of course not? Like you're too gallant for that? Please." I rub my temples because my head is starting to pound like a drum.

"She kissed me, and I didn't stop her." He says after a moment, in a quiet voice. I look over at him, and his eyes are deep, staring straight into mine. We're both silent, the air heavy between us.

Frizzy hair.

I remember.

She had big frizzy hair, and her face was stuck to his, and my chest exploded. So I left, and...

And then what?

I rub my head again.

"Why was I so dirty this morning?"

"This morning? Bella, I didn't want to pressure-"

"Before my shower, I was covered in dirt, dickwad." I hiss, and he flinches. He's quiet again.

"There was a guy at the party...Hound. He...He tried to...Bella, I-" His knuckles are white on the steering wheel and his breathing is heavy. His nostrils are flaring and his cheeks have flushed. He looks mad.

No, he looks livid.

And then I feel the hands on my body - grimy, pushing up my dress, flattening me against the tree, touching me.

I wretch a little as I remember.

"I looked for you for ages but I couldn't find you. Then Tex told me Emmett was here and that everyone was freaking out...That's when I saw him coming out of the woods with you." He looked more than guilty. His eyes were so full of shame that he wouldn't even look at me. Good. "I carried you home, Emmett explained everything...I wanted to go straight back there and rip that fuckers throat out." We're both quiet for a moment; I'm so shocked that I don't think I could form words if I tried. "That's what happened." He sounds like he's making and apology, and it kind of pisses me off.

Tears spring to my eyes.

I owed Emmett a shit load.

How did he know I was in trouble?

"Oh my God." I whisper, my nose tingling, and my eyes stinging. I squeeze them shut.

"I'm _so _sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. She distracted me, and I went to find you straight away. I promise. This is why I don't drink at parties! Bella, please, look at me. I'm sorry." _Don't drink at parties? I had to pretty much carry him there! _

I feel the burn start to wind up in the corners of my head, encompassing the torturous heaviness from my hangover.

"Will you shut the fuck up?" I feel my blood boiling beneath my skin and I want to scream, or punch something.

But I don't.

I open my eyes, slowly, and look at him. I feel my heart freeze over.

He's looking back and forth between my eyes, begging me to talk to him.

"It doesn't matter."

"...What?"

"None of this matters."

"Don't-"

"The way you've been treating me is driving me insane. You say that I'm messed up, and maybe so, but you're so much more fucked up than I am. You like me, don't you? You want me, right? But you'll do anything to make sure I know that you're such a bad person, and that you're not good in relationships." He starts to interrupt me, but something inside of me has opened up, and I just physically can't stop. "I never once asked you for a relationship, you asshole. I've never even _had_ a proper relationship. I don't even have a familial relationship! What I feel when I'm around you is intense, and I thought that's maybe what it's supposed to feel like...But what if it's not? What if what you make me feel is just an attraction? I opened up to you – I never tell anyone anything. So, maybe that's all this is...I like you, because you're a pretty boy who I trusted enough to be myself with. And that's all it was ever going to be."

We stare at each other for one severe moment.

It feels like forever.

For some reason I feel myself seize up in anticipation.

But what exactly is it that I want from him?

What am I dying for him to say?

"You're right," he says, but his voice is as cold as mine was.

When my whole body shakes with emotion I know this isn't the answer I wanted.

His jaw is clenched and his eyes are lifeless, and I can tell that his next words with sever any hope that I may have had of being wrong.

"None of this matters."

...

"Hey, Chimes, over here!" I smile for the first time today.

"What's up, beeyotch?" I say, sliding in next to Jake in the assembly hall.

"You know how it is, scouting hotties, being desirable, breaking hearts."

"And they say chivalry is dead."

"Well, I do what I do, when I do what I do." We laugh, and it feels so fantastic. His arm somehow creeps across the back of my chair, but it's comfortable and it doesn't feel weird.

"Mr. Black," A woman stops in the aisle, looking strict as hell with her tightly wrapped grey bun, her black blouse, and her frown. "Get your feet off of the chairs." I look at Jakes huge legs, stretched out onto the row in front.

"Of course, Mrs. Cope, anything for you." The dazzling smile he emits does nothing to deter her scowl, and she huffs and storms away to the front of the hall.

"Looks like your charm failed."

"Oh please, didn't you see the way she looked at me?"

"With obvious contempt and disgust?"

"Now you're just embarrassing yourself, Chimes."

"Then please, enlighten me."

"She wants me."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Entirely."

"And why would that be?"

"What other reason than; _she's got jungle fever, she's got jungle fever._" And I'm just about on the floor howling with laughter.

"S'up?" Rose says as she slides into the seat next to mine. Jake goes rigid next to me and his arm sort of slithers away.

"Hey," I say, and it sounds a little meek.

"So, Old English told you what went down at the party, right? Because Tex filled me in, and I am totally ready to string up some balls." I can actually hear Jake gulp.

"Weren't you there?" She pauses and looks almost taken aback for a second.

She was there, right?

She left with us and she was there when we went into the party.

...Did she leave? But where would she have gone?

"Well, I mean, yeah, I was just really wasted." Well, that makes sense. Except it doesn't reach her eyes. I, of course, don't question her. I'm in enough of a mess as it is.

"Right."

"So, do you want to tell me why you and Old English are sitting at opposite ends of the assembly hall? I thought your whole thing was that you both got off on the drama." She accepts the slap to her arm without flinching.

"No, I do not _get off _on drama, thanks. Also, not that it's anyone's business, but Old English and I aren't hanging out anymore."

"You just called him Old English."

"Congratulations, you have satisfactory hearing."

"Don't get snippy with me, Chimes. Now, you tell me what's going on, and don't bother to conceal anything due to eavesdropping canines." I can feel the tension radiating off of Jake and I almost feel bad for him.

"Edward hooked up with Two-bit last night." She goes white. It's actually quite funny, but I don't laugh.

"Define 'hooked up'."

"I'm pretty sure they only made out, but I didn't really ask for specifics." She goes to say something just as the microphone screeches out across the entire hall, making all of us gasp and cringe.

"Everybody, quiet down. Take your seats..._Yes, Mr Whitehall, that means you, too_...To begin with, tickets are still available for 'A night with-"

"So what are you thinking?" she hisses right in my ear. I keep my gaze straight ahead and slump down in my chair. "Maybe a public humiliation? Black eye? I could pants him in the middle of the cafeteria."

"As hilarious and disturbing as that would be, I'm not planning anything."

"Ooh, good call. Spontaneity is always more fun...and Violent."

"No, Rose. I don't plan to hurt him in any way. Whatever it was that we had, is over. It's done." She studies me for a second with wide speculative eyes. "It didn't mean anything anyway." Her nostrils flare.

"Has this got anything to do with the flea bag over there?"

"Don't call him that, he's sweet." I hiss back, giving Jake a sly glance.

"That wasn't what I asked," she bites out, forcing me to look at her. "Do you like him, Chimes?" There's a strange emotion that flickers through her eyes, pain almost.

I don't want to lie to Rosalie, and so I tell her the absolute truth.

"No," I whisper, feeling a little sad for some reason. She lets out her held breath. "He makes me laugh, and he's tall and cute; but for some reason I can't find myself attracted to him." I'm whispering as quietly as possible now, and leaning into Rose and away from Jake just in case he actually is listening in. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" I whine, but she smirks in response.

"Babe, you've already given your heart away." I snort.

"I never knew you could be so mushy."

"Fuck you. I'm just saying, maybe you're not attracted to Wolf because your vision is tainted by a pompous, whore-kissing, impulsive asshole." I can't stop my eyes from flickering over to where he sits.

He's a little further forwards; his hand is drumming steadily on the arm rest, his long body slouched nonchalantly across the seat.

I see that Jake catches me watching the jerk, and I blush and look away.

"We don't choose the ones we love." I snort so loud this time that some people turn around to look up. I even see the woman on the stage flick her gaze up in my direction.

I feel _his_ eyes on me, but I don't dare look.

I'm frozen for a second until everyone turns back around again.

When I look at Rose, she's glaring.

"There's no such thing as love, Rose. There's infatuation, and there's admiration, but love? I'm highly dubious."

"You're also highly cynical," she snaps, but then she takes a deep breath and begins again, her eyes off somewhere behind my shoulder. "It's hard to know. It's hard to understand. It hurts...a lot. Sometimes it doesn't even feel worth it, but it's there, Bella." I don't know how to respond to this, so I just sink back into my chair and absorb her words, her far off gaze and her strangely low voice.

I'm reminded of how Jasper speaks, of how his words hold this crazy power – must be a family thing.

I don't hear a single notification mentioned in the assembly hall, because my brain is somewhere else.

It's back in the car this morning, begging Edward to turn around, walk back, open up my door and say that he was lying, that everything matters to him.

It's back in the living room with Charlie, broken glass tumbling down the wall, silently pleading with him to stand up and hold me in his arms, tell me that he's sorry and that everything will be okay.

It's back in Glasgow, willing Renee to stroke back my hair and tell me that she loves me just the way I am, that I don't ever need to change for her to love me.

Love is this weird thing; it feels like it causes more bad than good. Or maybe that's just me; maybe I've overlooked the good. Maybe I've taken it for granted because I've been too pessimistic.

But do I love Edward?

I don't think so.

...But could I?

I don't even have to try and think about it, because my whole body screams the answer.

"**What the actual fuck" is a phrase used a lot around about where I am, I didn't actually realise it wasn't as commonly used until my fantabulous beta mentioned it. Ahh, well. You should use it now, make it a thing...**

**Did anyone spot that Emma Stone reference? I thought it was funny, just slipped it in. Moving on.**


	13. Tell Me How You Feel

**A/N I'm so sorry this has taken so long, both my beta and I had some coinciding technical difficulties! **

**My fic has been getting a lot more attention thanks to Breath-of-Twilight, and her awesome review on the Wayward Pushers –**

www (dot) theficpusher (dot) blogspot (dot) com/2011/11/freaks-and-geeks-by-throughdeepbluevelv (dot) html

**There's some brilliant fics that have been reviewed on there, so go and check out the site if you haven't already!**

**THANK YOU to SoapyMayhem, who made me a spectacular banner for The Freaks and Greeks. You can check it out if you like; the link is on my page!**

**She's also a brilliant writer so go and read her stuff! **

**Hope you like this chapter, I'm loving all of the feedback I'm getting and I'm very happy that you like what's going on! I'm never sure if I'm supposed to reply to reviews, but I promise I enjoy reading every single one! **

**Happy reading! Let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I think it's pretty obvious by now that I don't own Twilight!**

**Chapter 13**

**Tell Me How You Feel**

He doesn't talk to me in Biology, and that doesn't really surprise me. I wouldn't know what to say, anyway. I have all of these feelings running through me; I don't know where to put them, what to do with them. I feel like my brain is turning to mush.

Maybe I'm bipolar.

Or just plain crazy. That seems more likely.

He leaves as soon as the bells rings, and I let out the breath I'd been holding for a little too long.

"So Chimes," Oh my dear God, I am not in the mood for this right now. "What'd you think of last night?" He seems hopeful of my answer, but I'm not sure what it is he's hoping I'll say.

"Honestly? I don't remember the majority of it. And I'm kind of happy that I don't." His face falls completely, and I suddenly feel quite bad. "...Your house is nice though." I assume this satisfies him and sneak away, not wanting to deal with more awkward conversation with Mike.

"Howdy, cap'n cheery."

"Bite me."

"Aw, you love me really." Alice's voice hurts my already throbbing head. "So what's the dealio?"

"I think you know."

"Well, yeah, of course I know...That doesn't mean I wouldn't like you to tell me. I like to know things, too, you know! You didn't know that I knew, not for definite. I'm supposed to be your god damn friend, Bella!" I stare at her wide, frantic eyes for a moment.

"You done?"

"Hmm, I think so."

"Seriously, you need to take up meditation or something."

"Says the mental bitch with anger issues."

"Hurtful." She links her arm through mine.

"So, tell me how you're feeling?"

"Angry-"

"Surprise, surprise."

"Hurt-"

"That's a given."

"And quite frankly, completely mortified."

"Wait, what?"

"I can't believe how off of my face I got; I don't even know what I might have said to anyone. Not to mention, I could have gotten seriously hurt by some seedy guy if it wasn't for Emmett. I feel like such a failure. I'm usually so much smarter than that."

"...Okay, dude, you've lost me."

"Huh?"

"What does Emmett have to do with any of this?"

"He decked Hound when he found him with me in the woods..." She stops in her tracks, eyes wide.

"Mother of all things fucking holy, Bella! I only knew about the whole Two-bit thing! I'm going to _kill_ Jazz! Why would he not tell me that? That seems like something I should know, right?" She squeezes the tops of my arms too hard. "Oh, are you okay? I feel like such a bad friend! How could I not have known?" Her big, round eyes start to fill up with tears. She looks like a little kid who has just dropped their ice cream.

I throw my arm around her shoulders; for some reason, her crazy over reactions have made me feel a little better.

"I'm fine, I just feel like a whore."

"Bella, don't say things like that!" She wraps her arm around my waist as we start to walk. "None of this is your fault...And so what if you made out with some sleezeball? We've all been there...granted, I'm still with my sleezeball; but anyway - I think we both know who to blame for this and who should feel like a dirty whore."

"Edward?"

"Mother fucking Edward."

...

"Hey Alice."

"Old English." He looks confused for a minute, but then he looks at me and he gets that flat, sort of pained smile on his face. I look away.

"Ah, so you're taking sides? Little bit childish. Also, a little bit unjust – I am, after all, flesh and blood."

"We're adopted, dingus."

"Metaphorical flesh and blood."

"I'm not taking sides. I'm mad at you for being an incorrigible twat."

"That's a little harsh."

"Is it, is it really?" Alice says, arms folded, pointed chin up in the air. Jasper slinks over and slides in next to her, takes one look at her posture and smirks.

"I see you've managed to fill your 'pissing off women' quota for today." He says with a chuckle, forcing Edward to throw a napkin at his face.

"Look can we not talk about this?" Edward says, just as Rose walks over and takes a seat.

"Oh, are we mad at Old English? Cool, cool...You're an asshole."

"This is hardly fair." He spits out, his cheeks flushed.

"It's completely fair." Rose replies, biting into her Panini. "This is what you get," she says with a mouthful of cheese, "for fucking around. It's about time some of your conquests came back to bite you in the ass. It's sort of like slutty karma."

"Well, aren't you such a lady?" Jasper asks his sister with a disgusted look on his face. To this, she replies by opening her mouth wide and displaying the lovely mixture of Panini.

"Nice," Is all I can say with a grimace.

I'd like to look at Edward, because I can feel his eyes on me. Except, it feels like there's this pit of fire inside my chest, and the longer I am close to him, the hotter it gets. It's like I want him so bad, but I don't at the same time. I feel like my mind and body want two different things.

But how can I separate the two?

How do I know that it's my mind that doesn't want him? What if staying away from him is the completely wrong decision?

I can't help but think of the times that he's held me in his arms, comforted me. We've known each other for such a short period of time, and yet it seems as though we're connected somehow. Just the memory of his arms around me makes me shiver.

So, I close my eyes and fight back whatever emotions are battling inside of me, because I don't think I can take it.

"Hey Chimes." I look up at Rose, blinking my eyes a couple of times. "Come here, I need to tell you something." I stand up eagerly and rub Alice's shoulder to say goodbye. I scurry after Rose who links her arm through mine. "Looked like you needed saving back there." I smile in relief, hugging closer to her as we walk towards the exit.

"It feels like I'm going to spontaneously combust." We walk past Emmett's table full of Greeks. He looks sad for some reason.

I catch his eye and smile.

"Thank you," I mouth, and he responds with a wink.

"I know the feeling," Rose says, and I look at her to see her watching me.

"Rose, what happened to you?"

"What do you mean?" she says, a little shocked, as she shoulders open the doors into the corridor.

"Every time the topic of love comes up, you turn into this all knowing, yet sad shadow of yourself. Who hurt you? Just give me a name and I'll punch a hole through their head." She chuckles dryly.

"As much as I don't doubt that you would actually do that, I don't think it's something that I can talk about. See, Chimes, I _hate _those girls. The ones who are 'damaged' or 'changed' by guys – I think they're weak and pathetic...But then I look at myself, and I realise I'm exactly the same. It makes me hate myself, Chimes."

"I don't think you've been weakened at all." I say with confidence. "I think, yes, you've maybe been _changed_ by a guy, but not in a bad way. Why can't you just reach out and take what you want?"

"It's not that simple. I know what you're saying, it seems like something that I would and should do. But I just can't. It's too painful."

"Let's just drop it then. I don't want you to think that I need to know everything about you, because I don't. I just don't like to see you hurting. Do you ever maybe think that it might be less painful than it is now to just take a chance?" She stares at me for a moment, before she breaks into semi-hysterical laughter. "What?" I ask a little self consciously.

"Nothing," she says, with a grin. "It's just, you've had such a shitty experience lately, and yet you're worried about me. Have I ever mentioned that you're just a little bit crazy?"

"You know, a lot of people have been bringing it up today. I'm starting to get a little insecure." She just laughs, and tightens her grip on my arm.

"You're kind of wonderful. I hope you know that, Chimes."

...

I wait in the Maths corridor until Emmett walks out of the room; when he finally does, I jump on him and throw my arms around his neck.

He's a little taken aback at first, but he hugs me back once he has recovered from the shock.

"Thank you."

"It was my pleasure," he says, and then lets me go. I beam up at him; with my hangover almost completely subsided, I feel much happier.

"Why didn't you tell me this morning?" I ask as we start to walk towards wood shop.

"It wasn't my place to tell you. You needed to hear it from Edward...I hope he wasn't a jackass about it. Sometimes, he doesn't mean what he says."

_None of this matters._

"Oh no, he meant what he said alright."

"Uh oh."

"There's no 'uh oh' about it."

"What'd he do?"

"Nothing."

"I'll find out eventually, you might as well just tell me."

"How could you possibly _find out?"_

"I have my sources...now, stop changing the subject." I sigh, and glare up at him, my gratitude slowly fading away.

"We had a fight. We both agreed that what was going on didn't matter, and we left it at that."

"What do you mean by 'what was going on'?" I roll my eyes at him.

"You know - the whole kissing thing." I flail my hands about, as if this will help explain my point. He narrows his eyes at me.

"Please tell me that you then both apologised and are now on speaking terms."

"Well I would, but I don't want to lie to you, big guy." He makes this surprising growl noise and I raise my eyebrows up in response.

"You both of you are just ridiculous." He stomps ahead of me like a child, storming through the door to our next class.

"Emmett!" I yelp, running to catch up with him.

He beats me to our bench, which I see is already occupied by the two other people in our group.

Jasper...and Edward.

"Howdy," Jazz says to me, scooting over so that I can sit next to him. "How's the head?"

"It's still mostly intact."

"Well, you were a bit of a schizophrenic freak last night."

"Aw, you say all of the right things," I deadpanned, giving him a sarcastic look. He returns with a cheesy grin.

"Hey, Em. You alright, buddy?" Jasper asks then, noticing Emmett's huffing pose.

"Yes, _I'm_ fine. _I'm_ not completely delusional or ungrateful of what I have."

"...good to know," Jasper replies quietly before putting his head down, like he wishes he hadn't asked at all.

He doesn't look at me; at least I don't think so anyway. I watch him out of the corner of my eye, but he stares down at his work the entire time.

It's awkward, and nobody does anything to relieve the tension.

We end up doing something that we haven't done before – we actually do our work rather than goofing off for the whole lesson.

"Didn't hear your usual disgusting ruckus over in your corner...look at that, you might actually pass this class." Professor Aro thinks he's hilarious "...but probably not." He cackles away as we leave in silence, pretending not to notice.

We each go our separate ways, Jasper giving me a small, lacklustre wave. Well, actually, I hang back a little so that I don't have to walk to the car with Edward. It's childish, I know, but I just can't bear it.

I slowly make my way to his car, making sure Alice is already in there with him.

"...And then he just like sits there with his mouth all full of tacos and baby powder, and I'm totally thinking how hilarious it is, but I just stare at him until he gets all-"

"What's going on?" I ask her in confusion as he mouth runs at a ridiculous speed.

"Oh, I'm in a mood, and I can hardly give Edward the silent treatment – because let's face it, he'd love that. So I'm giving him the 'don't stop talking' treatment; works like a _charm,_ by the way."

"Ah." I lean the side of my head against the cold window, unable to control the smirk as she continues to talk about pointless shit that probably doesn't even make sense to _her._

I can see Edward's knuckles tight and white on the steering wheel; but then I chastise myself for looking at his long fingered hands.

It's strange to think what a difference just a few hours can make; for instance, this morning I felt like absolute crap, but the relation with all of my 'friends' was intact. Now, my head has stopped thumping, and my vision is clear and yet I've managed to wedge a big brick wall right between myself and the person I thought I was the closest to.

And sure, he's not innocent. In fact he's a fucking bastard.

But everyone does stupid things when they're drunk.

And Edward is impulsive. So, he might have just been trying to save face in the car this morning.

...What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't like cheaters; I've always told myself that if I ever made myself available for a relationship, and I get cheated on, then I'd leave and never look back.

But then again, Edward and I don't _have_ a relationship.

Sure, he tells me that I make him 'mushy' inside and that I'm 'beautiful' – but come to think of it, he's told me these things before we've fooled around.

And when I did ask what was going on, he just wanted to mess around...no feelings involved.

So, is it okay that he kissed some other girl? Am I making this into something bigger than it is?

All I keep feeling is the rain pelting down on me, and then his lips hitting mine like a spark, and it's like my insides have caught on fire.

I can't help but picture his face.

His lips kissing down the insides of my thighs.

And suddenly, my cheeks are flaming hot.

I seem to have zoned out completely, because the next thing I know the car has stopped and Edward has thrown himself out of the door, storming up to his house and leaving us behind.

"You're in the right, you know."

"What?"

"You have every reason to be mad at him, and he knows it."

"Alice, I don't know what you're-"

"Look, I said some crazy shit all throughout that car ride and you didn't make one sound. I could tell that you were deep inside your head somewhere, and I'm pretty good at working out what's wrong with people. So, look at me," she grabs my chin, leaning over the chair to do so. "Don't take his bullshit. He needs to realise for himself what's going on."

"Al, I don't even know what's going on." Her eyes sparkle.

"You will," she says with surety before pecking me on the forehead and bouncing out of the car.

...

I'm busy watching old reruns of Buffy the Vampire slayer when I hear the door slam downstairs. I look at the digital clock on my bedside; 9:37.

That's some time for a police officer to be coming in from work. I just roll my eyes and crank the TV up louder.

It's almost completely dark in the room, save for the creepy, blue light seeping out from the screen. I've shut my blinds and curtains, just in case Edward and I do some awkward eye catching.

My bare feet are up on my desk, my homework – due in tomorrow - lying semi finished next to me. I'm very good at procrastinating – it's a talent.

The soft knock on the door almost startles me, and for some reason I stare at it for a few moments.

"Isabella?" My old man says in a small, impersonal voice. He knocks again.

"Yeah, come in," I say, not moving from my spot. The door creaks open just a touch and Charlie pops his head through the gap. The hat on his head struggles to fit through, so he has a small fight with it until he is half in, half out of my room.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you."

"...and what exactly are we doing now?"

"I'm being serious."

"I didn't realise I was being trivial."

"Just...please. Come down stairs so we can talk."

"What's wrong with right here?"

"Bells, please," he says finally, and I can tell by the look in his eyes and the slight edge to his voice that he is done messing around.

"I'll be down in a sec." He doesn't respond, he just slides back through the gap and disappears into the hallway. He leaves the door slightly open though, as if he thinks I might forget that I'm supposed to follow.

I purposefully go as slowly as possible, turning the TV off, throwing a hoodie over my plain tank top and shorts, and shuffling my feet into my slippers that look like polar bears. Their cute, white little faces smile up at me; black button noses set above stitched, condescending smiles. For some reason I stomp all the way down to the living room, as if to make them just as miserable as I am.

When I get there I almost expect Charlie to swing around in his chair, exclaiming that he's been "expecting me," in a creepy voice. What I find disappoints me; he's just sat on the sofa – that has frankly seen better days - looking a little sorry for himself.

I do note, however, that instead of a cool, honey coloured liquid in his drink, it appears to be just water. Unless, of course, it's vodka, in which case I feel a little angry.

He sees me eyeing his glass and gives me an almost satisfied smile.

"It's tap water."

"I don't care." His shoulders sink, and it looks a little bit ridiculous – a huge, broad man, in a fancy blue uniform, looking dejected at a comment from his teenage daughter. I hold back my huff of annoyance.

He pats the space next to him on the sofa, but I eye him suspiciously before perching on the arm of an armchair.

"Can we make this quick? Willow's just about to destroy the world." He looks blankly at me, as if I've spoken some other kind of language.

"I want to explain something to you."

"Well like I said-"

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP SO THAT I CAN SPEAK?" he roars, his face growing steadily purple, the vein in his neck throbbing.

"Ahh, there he is ladies and gentlemen, the man we _love_ to hate! It's _Chhhharrrrllliiieeee_ 'the crazy bastard'_ Swan._" I can't help my stupid commentators voice, it's like my sarcasm is a reflex. We both stare at each other; my sardonic proclamation hanging in the air, like a satirical spirit.

I can tell he wants to say something, but it's like he swallows it back.

"Okay," he says finally, in a defeated voice, his eyes closed, "Alright. I don't deserve your attention. You hating me is fully justified. But this isn't how I wanted to do things – I need to talk to you seriously...can you just give me a chance?" I stand up on impulse, ready to leave. In fact I start to walk towards the door.

But then my day hits me; everything that's happened just feels so stupid, and pathetic. I just want something to be right – and if that means putting my pride away for just a few minutes and trying to find some sort of semblance of a relationship with my father, then it's something that I have to do.

I notice the stained circle on the wallpaper, a ridiculous reminder of how impulsive and reckless I can be.

I won't let my anger take control of me; I refuse to let it ruin something that might turn out in my favour.

So I slowly turn, walk back to the chair and throw myself down on it. It takes a moment for Charlie to lift his head up from where he has it held in his hands.

His face is straight, but I can see in his eyes a spark of something akin to hope.

He doesn't thank me – he doesn't really say anything to begin with. We just sit in each other's company for a while - both of us waiting; one for the courage to speak, the other for the patience to listen.

"The other day - my birthday – was awful. Thank you for my presents." He says this in a flat tone, almost as if it's rehearsed.

"If you're not going to talk about the real issue here, I'm leaving."

"Okay. I was just...building up to it." He pauses again, and I start to fidget. "I know I've never been the best father. I have tried, I promise I have," I scoff at this, and he flinches like I've hit him. "Your mother didn't give me a chance. She told me I was too boring, and when I found out about her and that _boy_ it broke me in two...I know that sounds silly, but I'm just trying to tell you how I feel."

"_Why?"_ I say, and for some reason my voice cracks, making it sound more like a whimper than anything else.

"I'm getting help. I'm seeing a psychiatrist now – she knows that my relationship with you has a lot – if not everything – to do with how I am. Everything changed when I...when you..." He stops to take a deep breath. "I understand. I see now. All I've ever wanted to do was be a good person, for you, Bells. I wanted to be a good influence on you, and when your mother called me and told me what was going on, I thought we could learn from each other. Grow together. Get better. But then you got here, and it was so easy to just...look, I know your anger is my fault-"

"Stop." It sounds like begging to my ears, and I hate it. "This isn't the way to do this. I push back the stinging behind my eyes. "Stop blaming yourself and talk to me." I end on a whisper, because for some reason, my voice stops working, my throat starts to seize up.

"You are so much stronger than I am, Isabella," he says in a quiet voice. "I think I've always known that. I just feel like I've taken something from you, flawed you somehow. I'm ashamed." I don't have words to respond, like I've forgotten how to speak. "We're going to fix this. _I'm _going to fix this. We won't ever be close – I know that. But I don't _ever_ want you to hate me. And I don't _ever_ want to compare you to your mother – because you're so much stronger than she is, too. I don't know how we managed to do it, create a daughter that's so much better than either of us. You are the best thing that I have ever achieved in my life. I want you to know I'm going to be different from now on. It won't be an immediate change – Dr Clearwater tells me that it's going to take time and effort. But know that I'm trying."

I don't cry – he doesn't expect me to.

Throughout his speech, I watch his hands; rough, huge hands, digging into his thighs – it looks like it hurts.

His words sink in to my brain, like pebbles in water. And suddenly this strange feeling takes over me, like some huge weight has been lifted off of me. I feel special and accepted...I feel happy.

I know that in our own dysfunctional way, he is telling me that he cares. That I'm not useless.

But most of all, that I'm nothing like Renee.

And that's the thing that hits me the hardest – because it's only in this moment that I realise that the majority of my struggles come from one place.

"_You're not really skinny enough for those jeans."_

"_Are you sure you're smart enough to enter that spelling bee?"_

"_Why are you so angry all of the time?"_

"_Can you just go out for a couple of hours, Phil and I have some work to do." _

"_Maybe if you didn't scowl as much, you might get a boyfriend."_

"_You should know that! Don't you listen to your fucking tutor?"_

"_Do you really think that second piece of pie is a good idea?"_

"_Go and practice your martial arts shit, your negative energy is putting a damper on my good mood." _

I press my nails into the armrest of the chair, feeling the pang at the ends of my fingers as I dig too deep.

My head spins as her voice rattles through my brain; I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm too tall, I'm too awkward, I'm too angry.

But I'm not too anything.

Here, I'm just enough.

Here, I'm a freak, and it's good.

I think of Rose, of Emmett, of Alice, of Jasper, of my dad, of Wolf, of all of the new people that I have met...I even think of fucking Tadpole.

They don't care. They've seen me at my 'worst', and I'm still accepted. They've protected me, and laughed with me.

And then his face pops into my head – in fact, it has always been there, right behind everything else.

His crazy hair, his sexy smile, his deep, tortured eyes, his mysterious tone, his humour, his lips.

Edward.

_None of this matters. _

That's a barefaced lie – because everything matters.

Every single word he has ever said to me matters.

Every glance that he has sent my way matters.

Every angry word I've shouted at him matters.

Every time he has held me in his arms matters.

Every kiss matters.

And I know that he knows it.

He has to.

I'm thrown back into the present when Charlie clears his throat. I stand up and he follows with his deep, dark familiar eyes.

"Night, Dad." I say, and kiss his cheek. I'm trying, too.

**So, what do you think? **

**I'm never sure what to say here, so I feel like I should end my chapters with some random train of thought that glides through my brain. **

**For example, I've found that as my friends and I have known each other for lots of years, we tend to bully each other. It's strange really, and yet we're more mean to each other than we are to people we don't know. **

**There's this thing we do where, for instance, if you (and by 'you' I clearly mean me) fall over, the other person will say, "Wow, why are you so graceful?" **

**I don't know why this came into my mind when I was re-reading this. I have a strange, uncontrollable brain.**

**It's a scary place in here. **

**...**

**I hope that lovely randomness made you happy...or at least made you question my mental stability.**

**To be honest, I'm happy with either result.**

**Review! **

**Peace out. **

**...no? **

**Okay. **


	14. Hands

**A/N Hey there! Sorry this is taking so long to update, I just want it to be good. Thank you for all of your comments, they all make me smile and sometimes laugh. **

**So, what did everyone think of the banner? Awesome, right? **

**Disclaimer: Hey hey, you you, I don't own Twilight! ...No, that doesn't work, does it...**

**Awkwardly moving on.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 14**

**Hands**

This is the first time that I am actually a little upset that Charlie isn't there when I wake up. I was fully expecting some grand gesture waiting for me downstairs, like I don't know, a homemade breakfast...or a car.

Baby steps, I guess.

When I realised that I was disappointed, I actually shared a semi-hysterical giggle with the empty kitchen. Rome wasn't built in a day, and if my father and I actually planned to have a secure relationship, we'd have to work at it. But that didn't mean altering his schedule, or mine for that matter.

And so, when I left the house in my skinny jeans, a burgundy over sized knit sweater and a bright red 'cloche' hat I had this repressed feeling to sort some things out.

Which is probably why I had fully intended to march up to Edward's room and demand that we sit and talk like adults. However, I was stumped by the first words Alice threw at me.

"My dad is driving us today, Edward's sick."

Of course, I felt sympathy for him, and yet it was quenched by this overall excitement as soon as she mentioned her god of a father.

"Why is it every time I mention my father, everyone's eyes glaze over? It's not cool, man." she huffs with a strange tone to her voice. Almost like she's trying to be teasing, yet she's distracted. "I'm not trusted with the car, so Dr. Cullen is taking the morning off from his apparently non-important job to escort us fine ladies to school. You look so cute by the way you really are a hat person - I don't know why you don't wear them more often. I like hats, but I don't like to cover my hair. I mean, why would I spend so long making it _this_ fabulous just to cover it up? That's madness!"

"Alice," I say with something like worry in my voice, "is everything alright?"

"Yes," she says but her eyes dart over her shoulder, "everything's dandy, why wouldn't it be? It's not like I have anything to be upset about. Because I'd tell you if I did."

"Well...Okay," I say, deciding that coercing Alice into telling me everything would be morally unjust. It's not her fault she can't keep quiet for more than a few moments. I give her a look though, one that tells her that I know that something is wrong. She visibly gulps, and suddenly I'm nervous.

"So, what did you do last night?" she asks, leading me into her living room.

"Oh, um," I think to last night, and how emotionally wracking it was. For some reason I can't even begin to want to share anything that happened. So, I plaster on a fake smile. "Just watched TV. What about you?" I say, and she shifts awkwardly.

"Oh, yeah, same."

"Okay."

"Yeah." I don't know why it has suddenly gotten so weird between Alice and I, but it feels as though we both have some heavy duty information hanging over our heads. Which is quite ridiculous, actually, because what I have to share is entirely personal and would entail me sharing with Alice in a way that I was only just getting used to doing.

Actually, Edward was the only one who I had truly spoken to about anything to do with my family, and so telling Alice anything wouldn't feel right for some reason.

"So, Edward's sick? Should I go up and say hi?" Her reaction shocks me; she darts out of her seat and stands rigidly upright.

"No! I mean." She coughs. "No. I don't think it would be appropriate. He's probably still sulking about what happened between the two of you, not to mention the fact that he's very likely contagious."

"What's wrong with him?" I ask, not meaning to sound so serious.

"Oh, you know how it is," she says, with a completely rehearsed flippancy, "man flu. Boys get a little cough and they think they're on their death bed. I tell you, they don't know pain. No sir-ee." She shuffles uncomfortably.

I open my mouth to speak, not entirely sure of what I'm about to say. But I'm interrupted when the door to the kitchen and the finest father I have ever seen pops his head in to the room.

Alice looks relieved that he's here.

"Oh hey, ready to go?" she says quickly.

"Sure," he says with a smirk that's entirely too much like Edward's. "Hey there, Bella."

"Hi." I say, and manage not to squeak. Suddenly, Alice isn't weird anymore; she just rolls her eyes and grabs me by the arm, hauling me out to the car.

Carlisle plays the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on the radio, and sings almost every word. I don't even stop myself from staring at his perfectly formed lips as he states that California can rest in peace. He doesn't actually say much throughout the whole ride, but I'm sort of glad because I don't know if I would have been able to form coherent responses.

When we leave Alice kisses him on the cheek and he gives me a salute goodbye. As soon as we step out of the car, a strange feeling drenches me like freezing cold water. I worry for just a second, before I push it to the back of my mind; I refuse to let any kind of emotion ruin what has turned out to be quite a good mood. That's unusual for me.

"Did you hear that?" I gush in an overly enthusiastic voice, as Alice latches onto my arm. "He wants me to have a good day...I think he likes me!" I squeal and laugh when she slaps me as hard as she can.

"God, my soul for an ugly father."

"You can have mine."

"With those shoulders and that moustache? Gladly."

"Ew."

"Not so nice when it's switched around, is it?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"That's what I thought."

"What are we talking about?" It's Rose. I'm glad to see she doesn't look as weird as Alice did earlier. I do, however, note the connection of their eyes, almost like a silent, momentary conversation between the two of them.

"Chief Swan's sexy moustache."

"Always a fun topic."

"I'll hurt you both," I say with a shudder.

"Cute hat," Rose says, tugging on a lock of my dark hair.

"Why, thank you," I respond with a small curtsy.

"It'd look better on my bedroom floor." She continues with a completely straight face just as Jazz wanders over. She's ridiculous.

"Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you, baby?" I purr back, giving her a wink.

"Well, I see I picked the perfect moment to join the conversation...No, please, continue." He rests his chin on Alice's shoulder and hugs her from behind, staring back and forth between us with a cheeky smile.

"Don't be a dick," Alice snaps, with a disgusted sigh. "You two," she points, "get a room." Then she hauls Jasper away making sure he stumbles up the steps behind her. Rose chuckles and shakes her head after the emotional rollercoaster that is Alice.

"She's mental."

"Tell me about it. This one time, she convinced All Hands to sprinkle Johnson's talc on his lunch, and then got mad at him when he wouldn't swallow." I snort.

"All Hands?"

"Tyler Crowley. Not all nicknames are winners."

"Well, that one's sort of self-explanatory." She throws her arm around my shoulders and we start to walk up the steps into the main building.

It's then that I notice what's wrong. Tanya and Emmett aren't lurking beside the steps like they usually are; in fact, I don't see any Greeks. I look at Rose, but her eyes are focused on the doors in front of us.

I look back over my shoulder, down at the side of the entrance, next to the bike racks.

There they all are; a huge group of Freaks gathered together. All talking in frenzy; hushed and excited, vibrating like bees.

_In war, we are stronger together._

I can feel the blood drain straight out of my cheeks.

...

I've been walking around this place like a zombie for the last couple of hours; the dread encompassing me seems to be growing heavier and heavier with every step and so when I'm suddenly not alone in the lunch queue, I can't help but snap.

"WHAT IS IT?" Tadpole's eyes resemble saucers.

"I was just going to say 'hi'," he squeaks, giving me a frightened look. I have to physically close my eyes to stop them from rolling. I sigh.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped; I'm just stressed."

"That's understandable," he says and suddenly he's even more annoying. "It must be hard for you, being your first time."

"...huh?" I say, not able to help myself. He gives me what I assume is a friendly smile.

"I understand completely what you're going through. Fry was the same way last year after the incident; it was the first time that what was happening was made a reality."

"What incident?" I ask, curiosity gnawing at my mind.

"Oh, you _know,_" he says, pushing me playfully, like I'm trying to mess with him.

"Tadpo-"

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

"Listen-"

"We should totally go out sometime...Oh! Or you could come over to my house for dinner! My mom makes a _mean _pot roast. She'd love to meet you, too!"

"Michael-"

"I know how hard it must be. But you don't want to have to talk to someone like Thorn about this kind of thing. You want someone that can actually relate to other human beings. Am I right? You know what I'm saying? Yeah? Chimes?" I slap hard on his chest, tighten my fist in the front of his shirt and shove as hard as I can until his back is up against the pillar separating the lunch queue from the rest of the canteen. My hands hold him in place.

He squirms as I hold him in place, like he's sickly relishing that we're actually having physical contact.

But his eyes tell a different story; I can see that he's scared, and underneath it all, mortified.

I can almost feel hundreds of eyes on me.

"You talk about my friend again and you won't have to worry about ever speaking again. Am I making myself clear enough, Tadpole?" I shove him again for good measure. "_Rosalie_ is the strongest and most poignant person I know. You should be _grateful_ that she has ever deigned to talk to you – be _very_ careful of who you insult around me." His face is frozen in a picture of shock, nervousness, and regretfully awe. I find my fist twitching, wanting to smash into his stupid face.

Ah, what's the harm?

But before my arm can even begin to move, I'm being scooped up from behind. I kick my legs out in front of me, struggling and wriggling on impulse.

"Stop squirming before I pull an Old English and throw you over my shoulder." It's Jasper that says this and I growl in response as he literally hauls me away from Mike, who is still backed up against the pillar.

"...So, is that a 'no' on the dinner?" he calls out, completely seriously.

Jasper's arms tighten like a vice as I scream a growl of frustration and struggle to lurch forward and rip his gelled hair off of his head. I can feel him vibrating with laughter around me.

"That boy is a lost cause," he says, pityingly, as he literally drags me towards our lunch table.

"You should have let me punch him."

"You're such a delicate creature, aren't you?"

"Be warned, my fist really wants to hit something."

"You'd never hit me, you love me too much." I scoff as he finally sets me down, right next to Wolf. "You're welcome, by the way."

"What for?" I yelp, wincing as I hear my voice go up an octave higher than humanely bearable.

"For stopping you from neutering a helpless, pathetic disciple of yours. It's not his fault you've put him under your spell."

"My spell?" I say, half incredulously, half sarcastically.

"Oh please, like you haven't noticed your affect on the masculine Freak population."

"And some of the feminine community," Alice chirps in; her foul mood has apparently evaporated.

"Oh, shut up." I snap and they all chuckle.

"Well, it is comprehensible. Little Chimes, here, has probably only noticed her affect on one specific male...populate?"

"Resident," Tex fills in.

"One specific male _resident_," Rose finishes.

"I have no idea what you're yapping about," I say innocently, taking half a slice of Jake's sandwich – for some reason he has three separate cheese rolls, a milkshake and a plate of chips. Why is he not obese?

"He's about 'yay' high; smouldering, sultry gaze; fucked up hair; sickly, pale skin?"

"Hey! I'm paler than he is," I complain, and she gives me a knowing smile.

"You know who I'm talking about."

"Well, I'm not exactly Nicholas Cage or anything, but it was hardly a mythical treasure hunt."

"You know." She gives me a sure nod, and all I can do is growl in response.

It's only now that I look around the rest of the canteen; the piece of cheese sticks in my throat.

There's a literal divide in the cafeteria; a full row of tables is empty between our side and the other closest to the door. When I look back to the inhabitants of my table, they are all fully concentrating on their food, refusing to catch my gaze.

"What's going on?" I hiss, unable to stop myself.

"What? Oh, nothing. Look, it's 2:00 already...Jazzy, walk me to my locker?" They both get up without another word and leave. When I look beside me, Jake is no longer looking at his food; mostly because there are only crumbs remaining (how the _hell_ did he eat all that food that fast?) but also because he is caught underneath the ball shrivelling glare of Rosalie Hale.

"Bye, Chimes." And there's nothing left but a Jacob shaped cloud of dust and bread crumbs.

"You know that I would never bullshit you," she says then, looking at me intensely.

"I know." The joking tone is completely lost.

"This is something I want you to discuss with Old English; can you do that for me?" she says with a strange echoing tone to her voice. I know then that I will do what she says; for some reason I find myself unable to disobey her.

She should be the freaking president.

"He needs to be the one to talk to you about this."

"Why?" I find myself saying.

"Because he's the one that you should trust the most." She doesn't elaborate on this; she just stands up and leaves - a soft touch to my shoulder acts as a goodbye.

So, for the rest of the day I don't pay attention to the odd absence of Greeks in the corridors or the bathrooms. I keep my head down and focus on my work, because I know that tonight I'm going to make everything right again.

...

My knuckles tap on the door; one, two, three. I find myself humming a Beatles song as I wait until the door swings open.

I have my stern face ready; my bitch glare prepared to pierce through the stupid, gorgeous red head that I expect to open the door.

Except I find myself glaring at a hard, broad chest.

My eyes slide up.

"Little Chimes!" Emmett beams and draws me into a bone crushing hug. My feet leave the safe ground and I'm airborne for a second. I grumble when I hit the floor with a body quaking thud.

"Hey, Emmett." I say and follow him into the house as he thunders back into the living room where he has a feast of popcorn and assorted candies laid out on the table and the box set of Rocky next to the flat screen. "I see you're putting your free time to good use."

"Well, I was supposed to have a friend over. But they couldn't make it, so you'll do instead – watch Rocky with me!" He grabs my arms in excitement.

"Em, I'm actually here to talk to-"

"Edward? I know. I'm not completely retarded." I give him a dry look that he ignores. "Can't you put it off for a few hours, pretty please?"

"I don't know," I whine, shoving his chest with my elbow, "I need to talk to him."

"He's not in anyway."

"What?" I stand still. "Why didn't you just tell me that? I thought he was sick?"

"Apparently not...Watch movies with me!" He's like a little kid.

"Fine. Just one." He makes a 'pshaw' sound, as if just one movie is practically unfeasible.

"Woo hoo!" he woops, diving down to press play and then tackling me onto the sofa.

...

I wake up with a crick in my neck and a numb bum.

I open one eye and take in Emmett, his fixated, smiling face illuminated by the light from the screen, a piece of lonely popcorn stuck to one cheek.

I nudge him with my foot about four times before he actually turns his head towards me. His eyes, however, remain absorbed in the movie.

"Emmett!" I yell using my socked foot to guide his face to look at me. He swats my feet off of his cheek with annoyance.

"Whhhaaatttt?" he moans, hitting me with the empty candy tray.

"Will you just phone Edward for me, ask him where he is?"

"You do it! This is the good part!...Who am I kidding? There's no _bad_ part."

"Emmett!" I scold, trying my best to snap like Rose. "All you have to do is reach into your pocket, find his number, and click call. Then, ask him where he is and how long he'll be. Bob's your uncle."

"Coincidentally, I do have an Uncle Bob."

"I can see this conversation didn't have the desired effect," I grumble with finality. I sigh. "I'm just gonna go home," I say with obvious disappointment.

"But you'll miss the end."

"I'm sure I'll live."

On my walk back over to my house I can't help but stomp.

Stupid Edward and his fucking no-show.

Sick my ass.

Boy was probably out with Two bit.

_Oh my dear God, if he _was_ out with two bit, I will rip him a new one!_

I plod into my kitchen and grab some orange juice, deciding to just take the bottle upstairs with me, then I pluck the box of cookies out of the cupboard.

I plan to lie in my bed and blast some music, drowning myself in sugar and possibly singing at the top of my lungs.

I have to open my door with my ass as my hands are full, so I back into my room then switch the light on with my tongue.

When I turn, my heart stops, and my cookies and juice ricochet off of the carpet.

Sat on the floor leaning against my bed, with one knee propped up and a toned arm casually rested on it, is Edward. He looks up at me, and my eyes instantly go to the angry, red – albeit incredibly sexy – slash through the side of his plump bottom lip.

I gasp and walk over, sinking to my knees in front of him. I reach out and with my thumb I trace his lip, stopping at his wound.

His hand traces down the side of my face and lifts up my chin. I feel myself mentally asking questions; but they don't come out. I can't speak.

He stares at me for some time. Then his fingers move down my arm, leaving gooseflesh in their trail. He scoops up my hand and makes to lace his fingers through mine.

But I stop him; some kind of subconscious urge spasms my arm and makes me pluck his fingers out of the air, grabbing them harshly between both of my hands. We're both shocked when I grab his hand and hold it to my face.

I remember looking at them just yesterday, tightening against the wheel of his car, perfect and white.

Not anymore.

His knuckles are swollen and black, like he's dipped them in smudged paint.

He watches me.

When I look up, his eyes spark like hellish flames.

"What have you done?"

**Anyone know what a cloche hat is? Lmao! Like those cute little bell hats...just me? Okay then.**

**I'm listening to my Beatles albums - I can't help it, it's like I'm addicted! Does anyone else get that with some songs? It's like they make me so happy I can't stop smiling! No one? Aha!**

**Well, Good Morning Good Morning, It's Been a Hard day's night, and I've got a Ticket to Ride, but Here Comes The Sun. **

**Anyway, You Like Me Too Much and You've Got To Hide Your Love Away. But With a Little Help From My Friends, Baby You Can Drive My Car – Hello, Goodbye!**

**Okay, I'll stop.**

**...**

**We All Live in a Yellow Submarine.**

**...**

**I'm done.**

**Review!**


	15. You're Messed Up Too

**Note: If you aren't mental, please feel free to skip this A/N**

**A/N PUT DOWN THAT PITCHFORK! RIGHT NOW.**__**Alright, now that we're a little more civilised we ca- Hey, HEY! STOP JABBING ME WITH THAT POINTY STICK!**

**I'm really sorry that I haven't posted in a while, I've been majorly distracted; it's just this raccoon unlatched and then jumped **_**through**_** my window – I'm pretty sure he had accomplices because, as far as I know, raccoons don't have thumbs...then again, I've been wrong before. **

**- Are you a raccoonologist? Do they have thumbs? Can they plot in an organised fashion? Get back to me. -**

**Then he knocked my laptop out of my grasp just as I was about to post the next chapter - I know it's a guy raccoon, because he sniffed around my underwear first. **

**Anyway, he snarled, in a southern British accent, "That'll show you, Rhi, how dare you try to post another chapter in a reasonable time limit in order for people who may – for some unknown reason – actually like what you write!" A highly verbose rodent if you ask me. So, I picked up my empty Starbucks coffee takeout cup and launched it at him screaming "THIS. IS. CAFFIENE." **

**For some reason he took offence to this, claiming that coffee granules had slaughtered his entire family...Highly irrational if you ask me, as coffee was in fact created to do only good. **

**Next thing I know, he's crying. I can see the huge fluorescent green teardrop magnified in his monocle, his tailcoat shuddering in the breeze. So I roll my eyes, but I do what any reasonable psychopath would do; I take him out to the Indian in my village – He jokes that he'll take the 'Roadkill Rogan Josh.' **

**Oh, how we laughed. **

**...But that's when I woke up and realised that I had law and history mock exams to revise for, not to mention some ridiculous amounts of coursework deadlines; Who wants to learn about the non-cooperation campaigns of Gandhi? The civil procedure for a negligence claim? **

**...Who let those crickets in here?**

**OH, HEY! I took part in Breath-Of-Twilight's Christmas one shot countdown to 2012 thingymabobby, so you should totally go and check that shit out and see if you can guess which one is me! Here's the link my pretties! But you know, read this first. Don't y'all be skipping out on me, ya hear? Hmm? My one shot is based on a true story, so if you guess which one it is, it might come as a surprise!**

www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/7348457/1/Countdown_to_2012_Farewell_to_2011

**Disclaimer: My client has fully and inexorably denied any preposterous claims at her even resembling Stephenie Meyer, and she will in fact take severe measures to ensure that all of you two legged Freaks comprehend that she just likes to mess with Ms. Meyer's characters, even perhaps place them in awkward positions and take hilarious and slightly provocative photos of them. **

**Yours Sincerely, **

**Mr. Rack ****Ún, Attorney at Law. **

***Cough***

**Chapter 15**

"Bella."

My back is pressed tight up against the back of my door, my shoulders rigid, my eyes open and frantic. His pale face is cast in shadow, making him look beautifully sinister.

He stands up and takes one step closer. My outstretched hand stops him. I can't even think straight right now; my mind is travelling at a million miles an hour, different thoughts thundering through my brain with each second.

_Is he okay?_

_Who has he hurt?_

_How did _he _get hurt?_

_Why is he here?_

_Why didn't he talk to me about any of this?_

"I'm sorry."

"You don't even know what you're sorry for." My mouth moves like a reflex, my brain has shut down. I feel detached and scared. My heart thumps in my chest.

"A lot of things," he whispers, but in the empty darkness of the room, his hushed voice almost echoes.

"What are you doing here?" My eyes start to sting. He looks at his feet and then back up at me. He shuffles for a second.

"I know that I've messed up, Bella. Big time." I stare at him, unmoving, not reacting. "The whole time that I knew I'd hurt you, I was in actual pain. I never want you to be upset with me." He takes a small step towards me, but there's still a huge gaping distance between us.

"What are you doing here?" I repeat, biting out my words.

"I need us to be okay again."

"So that you can stop feeling so bad? Wow, that's thoughtful."

"That's not what I mean! Don't do this, Bella. Don't put words into my mouth and paint me out to be worse than I am. I know that I've done wrong, and I refuse to let you sabotage this."

"Oh, you 'refuse', do you?" I hiss with my sarcasm dial fully turned up. "You know what? I wanted to make up with you, because for some reason I'm miserable without you. But I can't even stand you right now, and I don't even know what it is that you've done!" I point at his knuckles, which he hides behind his back.

He strides forwards, and suddenly he's right there in front of me. I can feel the heat radiating off of his broad chest. He's not touching me, though; he doesn't have to. I feel like a magnet, my whole body longing to charge at him and never let him go.

He places his hand up against the wall next to my head and lowers his face to mine.

"What I did was fucked up. I'm really sorry - I hate that I did that to you...But mostly, I hate that I did it to _us._ We're so amazing together-"

"We've never _been_ together, Edward!"

"I know. I know that's my fault too." I growl at the back of my throat and seriously consider ramming my forehead into his perfect nose.

"I hate that! That stupid 'blame me' shit. We're both responsible."

"Then why won't you accept my fucking apology?"

"Don't hiss at me, you dick."

"Then don't be a bitch."

"GET OUT!" I scream, squeezing my eyes shut and slamming my palms down on his shoulders. I slap and kick, shouldering him backwards. "I hate you!" It takes him a second to react, the shocked 'oh' shape on his face disappears when he clamps my forearms to my side and kicks my feet out from under me, slamming us both down hard on the ground, knocking the air out of me.

He puts his knees on either side of my waist and tries to catch my flailing hands as I scratch and slap at him. When he does, he pins them beside my head.

I blow a strand of hair out of my eyes in annoyance.

We both stare at each other, my chest heaving from exuberance.

"I lied to you," he says eventually, and it hits me like a physical blow. I hear myself whimper and I squeeze my eyes shut. "When I told you that nothing matters, I was lying through my fucking teeth. But I couldn't stop myself. You hurt me, and I wanted to hurt you back. I know that I shouldn't have done what I did in the first place. I can't sleep at night thinking about what could have happened to you at that party." I feel him press his forehead against mine and suddenly I find myself wanting to cry. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I need you to forgive me, please. God, I don't know what else I can do. I have to make this right, I just-"

He stops when I press my lips against the corner of his mouth. I don't know what it is that makes me do it; the heartbreaking plea in his voice, or the beat of his heart against mine.

When I open my eyes, his are right there staring so deep into mine. I wonder how he does that, how he looks at people so intensely that they can still feel his gaze hours later.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just obsessed.

We don't move for what feels like ages. When he finally does, he lets go of one of my wrists and twirls a piece of my hair between his fingers.

"I don't know what you've done to me," he murmurs, "you're constantly on my mind; you challenge me, tease me, and fucking annoy me to death." I can feel the corner of my serious mouth twitch. "Sometimes I don't even know how to talk to you, it's like I'm nervous every time I see you."

"You're such a pussy."

"I like that I can share things with you without being ridiculed." He deadpans, giving me a reproachful look. I smile a small smile now, unable to stop myself.

He edges forwards to touch my lips to his, but I turn my head.

"No. We need to talk first."

"Everything's so complicated." He huffs, like a child denied ice cream.

"So let's _un -_complicate things."

"It's not going to be that simple, Bella."

"Is anything between us ever simple?" We stare again for a moment before he sighs and sits up, pushing himself back to sit up against the bed. I join him and we sit shoulder to shoulder.

I don't really know where to begin. I know I have so many questions that I need answers to, but I just can't think of anything that I need to know right now. In this moment everything is fine; I feel neutral towards everything – part of me wants to stay in this blissful ignorance forever. Save myself some regret.

But then something Jazz said runs through my head;

_The blinders are off now, Chimes, I hope you're ready._

And the thing is I am ready.

The blinders need to come off. I can't stay in the shadows anymore; I need to know, I need to understand so that I can feel completely accepted. Finally.

Right then I realise that I don't need this information for anyone else; I don't need it so that I can get to know Edward better, or help with Rosalie's problems. What I really truly need to understand is how I fit into everything.

I'm used to being this broken jigsaw piece, that just won't slide right into the next. My jagged edges repel, no matter how hard I shove myself into the space where I feel I should be.

But this is all new. I feel like I'm on this completely new board game, where all of the pieces are twisted, deformed and half burned – and yet, they all link together. They all have purpose. And they are all needed to form this larger picture.

I look up at Edward; his strong jaw clenched and his lip thick and swollen.

He moves his hand first, edging towards mine resting on the carpet between us. When his fingertips touch mine I feel myself twitch; skin on skin.

I lift up his bruised hand gingerly, resting it on top of mine on my drawn up knee.

"Look what you've to done yourself." I find myself saying, and I can hear the airy tone of my voice. Distant, separated.

"I haven't been honest with you right from the beginning. I need to remedy that." He says, taking me by surprise, it almost doesn't seem like he's talking to me – more like he's trying to convince himself that what he is saying needs to be heard. I don't look at him, because my legs are already twitching to run away and hide in the rain. "My life has never been simple...But I want you to know me. I know you haven't told me everything about your life, but you've told me fragments. When I heard you talk about Renee and Phil I felt like I needed to know more, and that by you saying these things to me, you were letting me be a part of your life," he pauses, letting himself breathe for a second. "I want you to be a part of my life...more than anything."

"I can't believe you remember Phil's name." For some reason this is the only thing I have to say - I baffle myself with my defence mechanisms sometimes.

"I remember everything you say to me." I watch as his hand slowly slides down the inside of my thigh, pulling me closer to him. I take a deep breath. "This is going to be hard for me, Bella."

"Just take your time." I say, feeling like every nerve on my body has just been activated by some master switch. I know that I need to hear this.

"I'm not sure where I should start."

"Tell me what you want me to know." My mouth moves in its own accord.

"Carlisle and Esme adopted me when I was four." He starts, in a voice so low that I shimmy closer just to hear, his arm tightens around my leg. "The woman who gave birth to me she was...um...unable to look after me. I saw her from time to time, but she was- she wasn't in the right state of mind for company." I rest my chin on his broad shoulder, waiting as he tries to get the words out. "She died about two years ago, and I was kind of in a really bad place – I wouldn't talk to anyone, and I made Esme cry a lot. I hated being that guy...but, everything kind of changed after then. I was already a Freak, but being the way I was made me more segregated than the rest of us. I guess I thought I was kind of better than everyone else – I didn't trust anyone, but Alice and Emmett still looked out for me, even though I was a dick." He stops now, like he's trying to think the story in his head before he can tell me it.

"I was walking back from the store, my car had broken down. It was raining a bit, not much though. It must have been about half seven, but it was November so it was just about pitch black out." I want to scream at him in annoyance; I feel like he's stalling, or being too remote from the whole situation. It's like he's reading out a manuscript rather than telling me what's really going on with him. I know that I have to be patient though – if I yell at him now, I might never know, and then we can't be close or have anything deeper than just a friendship, because I won't _know_ him.

"I walked past a group of guys; I was just coming up to the underpass so I had a good three minutes in complete echoic darkness to look forward to. I wasn't scared – or at least I was pretending I wasn't. I didn't care about things – girls, school, my family...I guess I thought I deserved no better than _her_."

"What happened to your real mom?" I can't stop myself.

"Esme is my real mother." He bites out, and I slacken my grip on his arm, leaning back against the bottom of my bed to put just an inch of distance between us. "Elizabeth Masen was...she wasn't healthy...She lived and died in the SMI-"

"The Sea-"

"-Seattle Mental Institute for the psychiatrically unstable." He's speaking to me with such hate in his voice that I can't help but take it personally. Then I realise that this is probably the first time that he's ever spoken this story out loud. I could only imagine some of the emotions running through him right now. I almost told him to stop, but my curiosity got the better of me. I didn't say anything else; I just waited for him to speak again. It took longer this time; he rubbed his eyelids hard with the tips of his fingers and then sighed deeply.

"I had my music on full blast; I couldn't really hear anything, so the first shove took me by surprise. I wasn't as big then; I mean, I was tall but I was still kind of lanky, with Emmett as my brother I could hold my own...But before I knew it, I was shoved up against the underpass bridge, and I recognised the guy's face; Victor Hunter, one of the most popular Greeks." Hunter? Who is...wait, wasn't Hound's surname Hunter? The Freak? This didn't make any sense. "In that moment I just felt so...I don't know if 'careless' is the word. More like numb." He's silent again for a minute. He must know that this is killing me, surely?

"The next thing I know is he's been ripped off of me, his friends have run away, it's just him left." He takes another deep breath, "Him and Emmett." For some reason, this doesn't shock me. "And I'm still standing up against the wall, like I'm stuck to it. Emmett tells me to _'Just leave it, Ol' English, let's just let it be done.' _ But I don't leave it. I kick Hunter, as hard as I can, and I just keep kicking. Emmett eventually tackles me back, but Hunter's not moving anymore." For the first time, he peeks out of the corner of his eye at me, almost as if he wants to judge my reaction. I keep my face stony. "He's back at school two weeks later, but by then it's already too late, everyone knows that I put him in the hospital – Emmett tried to take the blame, but no one believed he'd do that. It was almost too easy to believe that that's something I would do."

_He's the one that you should trust the most._

I'm finding that hard Rose, very hard.

"That's when it all started – it's my fault that dozens of kids get beaten half to death, and everyone knows it. Why do you think they all avoid me so much? Fear me so much?"

"Oh, get over yourself."

"What?" My eyes go wide as I realise I've just let my mouth run without thinking. Jesus, I need to stop doing that! Well, I'm already in it; I might as well dig my hole a little deeper.

"You were young. You were having a tough time and everybody gets that – you need to stop blaming yourself for things." He pulls his arm out of mine and darts up onto his knees, leaning forwards into my face.

"You don't get it, Bella. It's my entire fault. Forks High wouldn't be the hell it is were it not for me. Emmett wouldn't be a _fucking Greek_ if it wasn't for me."

"I thought he wanted Tanya?" I say, pushing him back out of my face, irritated.

"He says that, but I know I pushed him away. I flaunted her in front of him, just because he didn't have anyone and I did. He was the _best_ of us, Bella. I turned him into some backstabbing, awful person – he was never like that!"

"Do you ever think that maybe it was Emmett's choice?"

"Bella, my brother went from being the most respected and loved person in our friendship group – oh fuck that, in our whole school – to some conniving bastard that just doesn't give a shit. I ruin lives. That's why it's so hard for me to tell you this. This is the most selfish thing I've ever done in my entire life." I don't stop my eyes from rolling.

I sit up on my knees; mirroring, but not touching him.

"Do you ever think that maybe you think too lowly of yourself? That maybe you were just an irresponsible, damaged, scared kid who idolised his brother to the point of making him out to be this superior being and then got shocked when you realised he was just human too?"

"Bella," he says my name like a plea, and it just about breaks me into one hundred Bella flavoured pieces, "I miss him." And just like that all of the irritation and anger at him disappears and I want to hold him and make everything better. I reach my hand out and trace his sharp jaw – man this boy is like a work of art.

A confusing disaster of a work of art.

I know that he hasn't finished his story yet, and I refuse to miss any detail. So I cross my legs and watch him petulantly, until the sad look drains out of his green eyes.

I wonder then if I'm not being girly enough; if I'm not saying the right comforting things. I bite my lip.

"About a year later, they finally got me back – it was like they were building up the suspense with each Freak they attacked. I mean, sure, we gave as good as we got, but it felt like some kind of personal vendetta, like getting me was their greatest victory. I was out cold for three days, and by the time I was back at school my protector Teddy had morphed into pin-wearing Emmett." I trace the slit on his lip with my thumb, realising that he has so much more to tell me. I don't quite know if my brain will hold any more drama. "Everybody was shocked; even Tex broke his cool. I guess my brother just got sick of me; I'm surprised he lasted as long as he did to be honest. I just figured that if I cleaned my act up, he'd come back."

"You'll fix things." I say, slightly awkwardly. I literally cannot comfort people for shit. I think I even give his hand a pat – what is wrong with me?

"You're pulling a weird face."

"This is just how I look."

"No, you're cringing."

"This is just my face."

"Bella, tell me how you're really feeling about this." I take my time to answer; I figure I could go with a typical cliché; 'you're going to make it through this', 'everything will turn out okay', 'we'll grow together'.

All eye roll worthy.

But that's not what he's asking, and I really don't want to lie to him all of a sudden.

"This is an awkward silence."

"It wasn't awkward until you pointed it out. You invited the awkwardness into a comfortable, pondering moment." I retort, but find myself sighing when I realise that I still haven't answered him. "Look, Edward, I want to get to know you. Also, I'm really freaking curious about all of this stuff going on. I know I shouldn't be, but I just feel like I don't know as much as everybody else. I understand; I know you must be feeling awful, and you don't have anyone else to blame. I've never really believed that people can change – but Edward, you were a kid, and you've matured drastically in the past few years as far as I can tell. You've got to give yourself a break, because if you don't, you'll never be truly happy." I look up to see his eyes on my mouth, watching me babble like an idiot. But I feel like what I'm saying has worth, like he needs to hear this.

"I think I'm happy now." He says, leaning forwards.

"Yeah?" I gulp as he shuffles closer to me.

"At least I have been," he pulls my chin up and traces his fingers across my jaw, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, "since you got here anyway."

"Such a charmer." I try to say, with as much sarcasm as I can muster, but it comes out weak and breathy.

"I try my best." He retorts and he leans even closer. "I don't know what it is about you, Isabella Swan," His lips graze mine and my eyes flutter shut, "I'm enamoured by you." I pull his bottom lip between mine just once, my chest heaving as I somehow can't seem to find my breath.

"Edward, you haven't told me what went on. You can't just kiss me and expect me to forget." For some reason I'm whispering, like my voice just won't reach the correct decibels.

"I know," He whispers back against my lips, wrapping my hair around his hand, "I know."

I wait, patiently enough I must say. He inches away, but stays close enough that I can still feel his breath on my cheek. I close my eyes.

"It was supposed to be last night; when we hit back. Wolf had to be a part of it – so he, Tex and I went out, we'd already picked Eric Yorkie; he's on the football team and he's dating Lauren Mallory. Most importantly, he was just rejected by every single one of his college applications. He was a prime candidate. Wolf got to him first and I guess he was feeling a little, uh...vengeful," I breathe a bitter laugh, of course Jake would do that, "he wouldn't stop. That's when we found out that Yorkie wasn't alone. He'd been meeting someone."

"Who, Edward?"

"He was meeting Hound." I don't react physically; I make sure that I don't. But my heart starts racing and my head starts thumping. I can feel his hands on me, his lips against mine, his sour breath. "Bella, I-"

"Did he hurt you?" I ask quickly.

"He said something about...look, I can't even think about what he said, because I think my head will explode. I couldn't stop myself."

"What did you do to him?"

"Nothing he didn't deserve...problem is he's a big time influence on a lot of the Freaks. Not only are the Greeks going to be pissed at Wolf wrecking Tyler, but the older generation of Freaks are going to be after me."

"So, what are you saying?" I manage to get out, because my emotions are running wild. I'm actually glad that he beat up Hound, and I'm also kind of turned on at the thought that he did it for me. Then again, I'm scared of the ramifications this will have. I open my eyes to watch his face.

"I'm saying that it's going to be difficult for me to be close to people for the next few weeks, just in case."

"You can't be seen with me." I say void of much emotion.

"It's not that I don't want to – God knows, I'd do anything to be with you every single minute of every day. But if I want you to be safe – which I fucking do – you're going to have to stay away from me."

I sigh and then do what's rational; I slap him across the face.

"Okay, listen, you bastard. First, you tell me that you don't want a relationship; you just want to mess around. Next you beat some guy up for me, tell me that you're enamoured by me and that you wish you could spend all of your time with me. But then you tell me that you can't be seen with me, for my own _fucking_ safety." He just stares, his face stuck on shocked. "I'm done with you treating me like expensive china; man up and realise that I can handle my fucking self." I stand up, walk over to my bed and start to change into my pyjamas. He stays on the ground, frozen, but I know he can see me pulling off my clothes.

I pull the duvet down and shuffle in. It's now that he finally stands up, turning to me.

"So what you're saying is-"

"You either have me, or you walk out of that door and never fucking talk to me again. Your choice." I'm done walking on eggshells, hiding how I really feel because I'm worried I'll scare people away. "But if you chose to be with me, then you've got to know that I won't be putting up with any of your 'for your own safety' bullshit. I don't exactly know how relationships work, but I'm telling you, I refuse to put up with any excuses." He doesn't respond for a couple of moments so I switch off my lamp and tuck myself into my bed, ignoring the stabbing in my heart when I realise that he's going to leave.

But I took my chance; I did what I should have done ages ago. I told it like it is, and for that I'm proud of myself. For once, I know that I've definitely done something right – even if it does end up with Edward and I not together, at least I took a chance. I can't ever say that I didn't try.

My breathing stops when I feel a weight on my bed, and suddenly arms are around me, pulling my back up against a strong chest.

"I chose you." I'm still in a pissy mood, so this is far from sweet to me.

"I'm not a fucking Pokémon, Ash Ketchum."

"Bella, will you be my girlfriend," he rushes out, ignoring my sarcasm.

"No," I respond, and I feel him tense up behind me, "but I'll consider letting you be my boyfriend." His arm tightens around me, and he slides his fingers through the back of mine.

"I can live with that." I feel him press his lips against the top of my head. "So, you don't want to talk about-"

"No," I cut him off, "we can talk later. Let's just lie here and pretend to be normal." He tangles his legs with mine.

"I can do that."

**That was a long A/N, huh? But you enjoyed it, I know you did. **

**...What do you mean you skipped the whole thing? WHORE!**

**I'm sorry – take me back? **

**I figured that seen as I'd been gone so long, I might as well dial up the crazy. BOOOGADEEE BOOOGADEEE BOOOGADEEE.**

**Oh, please don't have me arrested. **

**Only the voices in my head think I'm crazy. No you're crazy. Nu-uh, you're crazy. You callin' me crazy, bitch? Oh imma get chu! **

**Lord. I need help. **

**Anyway, guess whose birthday it was last week? GO ON GUESS!**

**YOU GET TWO GUESSES!**

**That's right, well guessed, it's Frankie Muniz. Or as we (SHOULD) know him, Malcolm in the Middle. Let's all have a great bit cheer for agent Cody Banks. Wahoo. **

**Oh, gosh, I almost darn near forgot – it was my day of birth last week! How silly of me to forget! It just slipped my mind.**

**GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND BAKE ME A CAKE.**

**I'm sorry, that was inappropriate. But really, nothing says happy birthday like a cake. Don't just sit there with your mouth open, staring. Yeah you, with the hair, and the whole face and eyes thing going on...Get to work, sweetcheeks. **

**I'd make an awesome bastard husband wouldn't I?**

**Oh, life goals, how they tease us.**

**...**

**Hope you liked the chapter! **

**Do you really want my attorney knocking down your door? Didn't think so – hit that review button.**

**...You can knock without thumbs, right?**


	16. Unexpected

**A/N I understand that my last note got a little out of hand...there was a lot of coffee involved...I hold no responsibility for what I say or do under the influence of coffee...Coffee is a blessed beverage...the makers of coffee do not hold me hostage. Wait, what? **

**Anyway, I hope y'all had an awesome Christmas...or if you don't celebrate Christmas, a good break from work/school! Also, have a happy new year, are we all looking forwards to the end of the world? Huh? Are ya? **

**2012! Woo! **

**Anyhoo, ON WITH ITTTTT!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Any similarities of my characters to that of Stephenie Meyer's are simply ridiculous - I mean, come on, it's not like they have the same names, or basically look the same, or...oh, no wait...**

I wake up to the sound of tentative knocking; Edward groans behind be and his arm tightens around my waist.

"Bella?" Charlie calls out in a soft voice, almost as if he doesn't actually want to wake me.

"Yeah?" I croak back, and then clear my throat.

"Can I come in?"

"Um," I eye the large, snoozing man shaped boy next to me, and decide that I'm really don't want to give my father a heart attack, "I'm not decent. What is it?"

"Oh, okay," he stammers back nervously, "that's cool," he clears his throat now, "I just wanted to let you know that I...um...I'm having a friend round for dinner tonight."

"Okay then?" I respond, a little snappily – it is morning after all.

"What I mean to say is, I'd like it if we could sit at the table for dinner tonight, have a real meal."

"Whose coming, Dad?"

"Oh, just, ah...you know...my therapist, that's all."

"Your _female_ therapist?" I don't hide the smirk from my voice.

"Yes...I believe that Dr Clearwater is in fact a woman." He sounds kind of defensive now; it's sort of cute, but mostly annoying.

"So, you're saying you want to invite a person – of the female persuasion – into _our_ home, to eat _our_ food?"

"...yes?" his voice ascends a few octaves, I find it rather hilarious.

"Cool, see you at seven."

"Wait...you're okay with that?"

"Sure, sounds fine."

"Right. Fine." He pauses, "I'll see you...later then."

"Have a good day, Charlie."

The furnace behind me grumbles.

"Uh, Edward?"

"Mmm?" He responds digging his scratchy face into my neck.

"Hand."

"What about it?"

"It's in uncharted territory." I eye my chest.

"Nah, it's been there before. It kind of likes it there. It's thinking about setting up camp."

"I will hurt you."

"You're awfully pithy in the morning."

"You're awfully handsy in the...Actually, you're handsy all the time."

"Don't pretend you don't love it." He squeezes my boob one last time before I elbow him in the side. He takes the blow pretty hard, to be honest. I'm sure he's just being a baby.

"Oh, come on, I barely touched you." He pounces on top of me, then, and pins my arms under his knees. He then proceeds to jab my hips with his stupid fingers.

"E-Edward! Piss off!" I don't know what happens, but suddenly his face is in my neck, and his lips are all over my skin. My hands are wrapped tight in his wicked messy hair, and my shirt has somehow ridden up to my chest.

I hate to admit it, but I'm moaning like a whore.

His lips start to trail down my body, drawing patterns on the bare skin of my stomach.

"Jesus."

"Actually, it's Edward."

"Shut the fuck up." I pull his hair extra hard, but he doesn't seem to mind. He responds with a scolding bite to my hip.

I anticipate his tongue dipping beneath my pyjama bottoms; he starts to pull them down just an inch. Antagonizing slowly.

"Bella, do-" but he's cut off by an annoying knocking sound.

I immediately think Charlie, and grab my shirt, pulling it back down over my boobs. But the sound isn't coming from the door.

"For all that is fucking holy, every single bloody time." He angrily pouts and then throws himself down on top of me, half covering me with his body, burying his face in my hair. Is he in some kind of huff?

Its only when the window creaks as it opens that I understand.

"Good morning, children," the bitch says, hopping over my window seat and perching on the corner of my bed. "Edward, sweet brother, you may have remembered to lock your door – but you forgot about the bathroom. Rookie mistake."

"I hate you," He mumbles from inside the crook of my neck. I roll my eyes.

"You really do have the knack of perfect timing don't you, assho- I mean, Alice." She beams back at me.

"That's what Jazz always says when I'm su-"

"Finish that sentence and I swear I'll rip my ears right off." Edward lifts his head up for a moment to glare, but then he powers right back into my neck. I pat his head like I would a furry creature. His hand manages to slide back beneath my shirt, which appears to appease him. Surprisingly.

Alice's eyes his roaming hand with disgust, but then looks back at my face.

"So, is it official yet or do I have to bonk your heads together?" Edward lifts his head up again.

"If you even _try_ to make a play of the word 'bonk', I refuse to ever touch your penis." He closes his mouth and dives back down again. "I really don't appreciate this at this time in the morning." Alice face is a mixture of repulsion and wonder.

"'Won't ever touch your penis', that's all it takes? Why haven't I used that?" I snap a finger in front of her face. "Right. Focus, Alice." She shakes her head like a confused puppy, and then zones right back in on my face. "So, are you two a couple or not?"

I try to look at him, but all I can see is his wild mess of hair jutting out of the side of my neck.

"I think that's probably something that _we_ should discuss first."

"But it will be discussed, right?"

"Yes."

"What the hell did you do last night then?"

"Well-" Edward starts, his head popping up again like one of those stupid meerkats, but then he sees the look on my face. "Right. No penis touching – got it." Then he looks at Alice. "Get the fuck out."

"Rude."

"Says the girl who has taken up breaking and entering."

"The window was cracked open."

"You're still not welcome."

"I'm just making the point that I did, in fact, not 'break' as you say."

"But you did enter."

"That's beside the point."

"That is the entire point!"

"Edward, you're such a-"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" I scream, having to nudge his head out of the way to dig the heels of my hands into my eyes. "I hate playing mommy. You, pixie stick, get out of my room so that I can talk to your brother. And you, handsy McGee, get the fuck off of me." I roll out from under him and head to my bathroom. "You children are the reason people drink." I finish with a growl as I slam the door shut.

"She's pissy in the morning."

"I know, right?" I hear through the door, and I respond by wrenching open the door just a crack and launching a polar bear slipper in their general direction.

"Wow, I should go."

"You think?"

"See you in the car!" he calls to me happily, before she – assumedly – skips her way back to my window.

"I hope you fall off the roof!"

"Love you, too!" Then – I hope – she finally leaves.

I change into the stray clothing in my bathroom; all I'm missing is a shirt; I stroll back into my room, clean and shirtless.

"Morning." I say climbing on top of Edward, who's delightfully muscled back is on full display as he lies face down with a pillow over his head. He grunts. "Hey, do you swim?" I ask, because he's totally got the whole swimmers body look going on; I'm talking broad shoulders, sexy toned arms and slim waist. He grunts again, but I'm not that bothered about an answer anyway. "Are you sleepy, Edward?" I ask, placing my knees on either side of his waist, tracing my fingers up his spine. I lean down and place a kiss to the back of his shoulder. "That's a shame," I whisper against his skin.

Then he erupts; I've never seen anyone move so fast. One minute he's underneath me, the next he's turned around, scooped me up and thrown me back down on the bed. His lip looks extra sore today, so when he leans down, his strong forearms on either side of me, I kiss it gently.

"I like this whole shirtless look. I think it should become a thing. Not sure about this whole bra thing though."

"You'd like me to go to school without a shirt? Whatever you say, boss."

"God, no! All the guys' heads would explode. I won't even mention the state Tadpole's underwear would be in-"

"Ew."

"-I like this whole 'boss' thing though."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmm." He bites my bottom lip.

"Such a control freak."

"You like to ruin the mood, don't you?"

"I can't help myself." It's then that my phone starts to shriek and vibrate so much that it shimmies right off of my bedside table. "And that would be my alarm, which means," I tap his arms for him to let me up; he hesitates but then sits up with a growl, "school time." I hang upside down off of my bed and silence my phone, then drag myself back up again. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that he was staring at my ass.

"I don't wanna." He moans, sitting cross legged, then pulls me onto his lap. The crotch of my jeans rub against his thin boxers – it's then that I wonder when exactly he lost the majority of his clothes in the night. Is he a sleep stripper?

"Well we gotta," I respond, pecking his nose. His arms go around me and pull me tight against his chest. I realise that our downstairs regions are getting quite acquainted with one another, and I can feel the blood rising up into my face. And that's not the only place that blood is rushing to, if you catch my drift. "Unless you want to be stupid for the rest of your life," I try to say, but it comes out a little breathy. I kiss him one last time, and then attempt to escape his vice-like grasp.

"We really do need to talk, you know," he says, completely ignoring me.

"I know," I whisper back. He kisses my forehead and then lets me go.

"I'm just going to jump back over to my room to get some clean clothes," he says, pulling on his jeans and shoes. "I'll be back," he chuckles in a weak impression of the terminator.

"Meet me downstairs for coffee?"

"It's a date," He kisses me one last time before strolling over to my window.

"Hey, I don't know about the whole 'date' thing." I try to keep a straight face as I call after him, "I think you're moving a little fast."

"Shut up," is all he says, popping his head back through the window.

...

I'm on my second cup of coffee, when the house phone rings. Edward still hasn't come down the stairs yet, but we have about twenty more minutes before we actually have to consider leaving so I'm not that bothered.

"Swan residence," I say in a flat voice, because who the fuck calls before 9:00am?

"Isabella?" I just about drop the cup of coffee I'm cradling.

"Mom?" I respond, although I know for sure it's her.

"Of course it's me, who else do you know that sounds like me? Gosh!" Oh, I don't know, another menopause ridden, uber-bitch with an aging complex?

"Why are you calling?"

"Oh, that's nice, isn't it? No 'how are you?' no 'good morning, Mommy'. I can see Charlie hasn't done much for your attitude."

"Well we can't all be as peppy as you."

"You're damn right you can't. If only you'd take a leaf out of _my_ book, you wouldn't be in the situation you're in now."

"So, how's Phil?" I say, ignoring her completely.

"What on earth do you mean?"

"Well...generally, when someone asks how someone is, a polite person will perhaps reply how said person is doing. It's not that difficult, Mom."

"I see you haven't lost your hilarious sense of humour," she says dryly and I roll my eyes. My mood has suddenly descended below tolerable – I really don't want to get mad and take it out on the only person here, a.k.a. the person I want to be in a relationship with.

Ew, did I really just think that? A relationship? Fucking hell.

Edward has made me mushy.

"I meant, why would you ask about Phil? _I'm_ the one that decided to call you, not fucking Phil," I'm confused for a moment, never once have I heard her use the word 'fuck', in fact she tends to act all holier-than-thou, and scolds me for being – and I quote – 'a dirty heathen' when I swear. "You should be asking how _I'm_ doing."

"Hey, how are you, Mom?" I ask void of all emotion, just as Edward walks into the kitchen. He stops when he hears me, his beautiful eyes wide and his red lips in an 'o' shape.

"You okay?" He mouths at me, but all I can do is close my eyes and bite down on the side of my finger as hard as I can. His arms wrap around me then, and he eyes the phone as if ready to grab it.

"That's more like it," she says. Although, I'm guessing she's just purposefully ignoring my sarcasm. "I'm very well; in fact, I called to inform you that I may be in Seattle sometime soon. So, I'll be popping by."

"How soon is soon?" I say quickly, my eyes snapping open to look at Edward.

"How could I possibly know that, Isabella? If I knew _when_ I would have told you. For God's sake, girl, I don't know how I put up with you for so long."

"It must have had something to do with your fu-"

"Okay, got to go, see you sometime. Ta ta!" Then the line goes dead and her shrill voice equates to an equally annoying ringing tone.

Edward removes the phone from my face just as I slump against him.

"You're not going to be left alone with her."

"I can handle myself, Edward." I say, but he's basically holding me upright.

"I know you can. I don't mean to be rude but...your mom's a bitch." I look at him for a moment, and then shrug out of his grasp. "Bella-"

Then I burst out laughing.

Not just your regular laughter, but rather manic laughter - resembling a hyena.

"Are you- are you all right?" he says, eying me like one would a mental patient.

"Yeah," I say, wiping a tear from my eye and leaning on the kitchen table for support.

"Why are you laughing?" he asks, still wary but with a smile on his face.

"Just a few weeks ago that phone call would have killed me, I'd be a recluse for the entire day and I'd snap at everyone...but now, she still affects me, but its only for a moment and then the feeling is gone."

"She shouldn't affect you at all," he grumbles pulling out a chair and pulling me onto his lap.

"Nobody in this world is perfect," I reply quietly.

He closes his eyes for a second and breathes heavily. Then his eyes snap open and he rushes out his words.

"I've been trying to come up with some big speech about how you've changed me...but I know that you'd probably kick me in the balls if I even tried so I'll keep it short," I agree with a nod, "I thought once that I'd found someone I could be happy with, and then it turned out she wasn't who I thought she was. I hate to admit it, but she threw me off my game; I haven't been the same since. I didn't think I could find anyone that would make me happy. I know that we haven't known each other that long, and I've been pretty dickish most of the time...but I want you to know that I want to try this."

"I thought you don't do relationships?" I have to remind myself that I thought I felt the exact same.

"I think I was just scared," he admits licking his lips nervously.

"Me too," I mouth back, not trusting myself to actually say the words.

"So...what do you think?"

"About the speech? I mean, it was a little wordy, and sort of gushy but I like that you worked the word 'dickish' in there. Solid move."

"Bella," he says dryly, dipping me back a little so that he's looking down at me, and strapping me down with an arm around my waist.

"I think I want to try this, too." I stutter, closing my eyes under the intensity of his gaze.

I feel his breath against my cheek before his lips graze the corner of my mouth just once. When I open my eyes, he's smiling.

Then he reaches up and touches one finger to his nose.

"_You_ have to tell Alice."

Damn him.

**I got this movie for Christmas that I can't stop watching; it's called The Commitments, and it's about a Dublin Soul band. Has anyone seen it? It has me absolutely howling.**

**It's weird that a protestant Scot would enjoy a movie about Catholic Irish folk...and yet, I think it's awesome. **

**A little sneak preview: **

"And you... George Michael... you ever call me a fuckin' eejit again, you'll go home with the drumsticks stuck up your hole... the one you don't sing out of."

"That'll be the day."

"I'm tellin' ya it's coming, so keep your Vaseline handy."

**Me: Bahahahahahahhahahaaaa**

**What did you get for Christmas? Or what is the last amazing movie that you've seen? I like recommendations for films – helps me to procrastinate my actual work.**

**That I have yet to start, by the way. Oops. Looks like I'm failing.**

**Have a fantastic New Year guys - make this one the best yet.**


	17. The Process of Going Crazy

**A/N "Wazzup!" "Waaaaazzzzzuuuuupppppp?" "What ya doin' son?" "Just chillin', killin'." "true, true."**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

**Chapter 17**

**The Process of Going Crazy**

Her stupid, pixie face grins at me. With her pointy chin nestled on her fist, she sighs deeply. And then again.

I narrow my eyes at the figure of the guy I'd just agreed to go out with as he locks his front door, leaving me in the back of his car with the spawn of Satan. Or Alice, as she prefers to be called.

She sighs one last time before I flick her forehead.

"Dude," she scolds, scrunching up her tiny features. It makes me feel a little better.

"What do you want me to say?" I screech, and we both wince.

"I think it's pretty obvious."

"Fine, Edward and I are dating. Happy?"

"Deliriously so." She gives me another grin before she says the words I'd been fearing she'd say. "Tell me _everything!_"

I flick her again.

...

When we finally draw up to school I have to take a few deep breaths before even considering getting out of the car. To my surprise my door opens before I can even touch it.

I momentarily wonder if I have obtained telekinetic powers.

"Oh, now you become a gentleman?" I say to Edward, a little bitterly disappointed when I realise it was him who opened the door for me. He grabs my hand and spins me before taking my bag over his shoulder. I'm kind of stunned for a moment; who is this happy, smiley Edward? Where has broody, sarcastic Old English gone?

"I figured it was about time," he responds, pulling my hip to him with my belt buckle. I respond with a suspicious narrowing of my eyes.

"Who are you?" I say, kind of eerily. He rolls his eyes and drags me by my jeans over to the corner.

"The dickhead finally asked her out!" Alice prances away into the mass of people before she can be slapped.

"Huzzah," is the beautifully sarcastic response from Rose.

"I know I said I wasn't a relationship kind of gal, but I took pity on the poor guy." I grab Edward's face in my hand and squeeze his cheeks until his lips pop out. He growls and tries to bite my fingers, then pulls my back to his chest and rests his arms around my waist.

"Well, this is sickening," Rosalie says, trying to be sarcastic, and yet I see something in her eyes. Surely it's not hurt? Did she want me to be like her? Did she want us to be the sarcastically single bitches that date nobody forever? A few weeks ago I would have loved that.

Wait.

Does she like Edward?

No, she couldn't like him. Surely not. There was just no way.

I glance out of the corner of my eyes at Edwards head in my neck, and then catch her watching him.

She looks me in the eyes, and cocks her head at what she finds there.

"Are you alright?" she asks, looking both curious and worried. Her previous expression lost.

"Um...yeah," I say.

"Are you sure?" Edward's voice whispers concernedly into my ear, I just nod my head.

What if Edward was _the_ guy? The one that ruined Rosalie for any other guy.

Had they been together? Had he kissed her? Touched her?

Oh my God, I pale in every comparison to Rose.

How could she do this?

Wait...what am I doing? I'm thinking like one of _those_ girls. The ones that are obsessed and paranoid.

I sound just like-

No. No, I don't.

I refuse to even think that. I'd never sound like her. I'd never let myself be anything more that slightly similar looking.

...

"This is nice," I say as we walk to Biology hand in hand.

"Meh, I've had better days," he comments breezily and I huff. Then, I surprise attack and tackle him into a wall of lockers.

"How 'bout now?" I say, biting along his chin.

"I'd say it'd be in my top five," he says but he's grinning; I pull his bottom lip between my teeth. I make sure to press my boobs right up against his chest, and he knows it too.

Then, I snap back and push him away, his back clangs against a locker door, and he has a shocked look on his face.

I snigger and walk away.

"Top five, my ass," I call over my shoulder, and when I hear his footsteps quicken behind me I begin to run.

"Miss Swan, Mr. Cullen, to your seats please," Mr Banner says when we finally make it through the door, he doesn't look mad though. Edward salutes like the cocky bastard he is.

I avoid Tadpole's gaze, though I know it follows me as I walk to the back of the classroom. It bothers me. I don't know why.

As soon as we sit down, Edward's hand rests on the inside of my thigh, like it belongs there. It's great; I feel like I can concentrate. The warm heat of Edward's hand on my leg makes everything okay; it annoys me that he has this affect on me, and yet I can't seem to find the energy to get mad about it.

I feel peaceful.

It hits me then that I haven't been in the rain for a while; when I use to live with Renee I used to anticipate the rain, and be in awful moods if it didn't come. But now, I haven't thought about it in ages.

It's like I'm becoming normal.

I worry that I'm becoming dependent on Edward; the very _last_ thing I've ever wanted to do. I read somewhere once that you must never behave as if your life belongs to a man.

And that's something that I've stuck strongly to.

But now I'm starting to doubt myself.

If I keep thinking like this I'll likely psyche myself out, and probably have a panic attack.

What if I'm not ready?

For God's sake, Bella, snap out of it.

"Are you alright?" I feel like this is the hundredth time that he's asked me this, and it probably is. I blink slowly.

"Yeah," I say and trace his thumb with my finger.

The lesson ends quickly and in my haste to get up I scrape my hip across the desk and scatter both Edward's books and mine across the floor.

"Hey, Hey!" Edward says, pulling the heels of my hands away from my eyes. He doesn't say anything else; he just looks into my eyes.

He crouches down slowly and pulls up the edge of my t-shirt; his lips lightly touch the graze on my skin, and I shudder.

He pushes me to sit down on the table, whilst he kneels on the floor, scooping up all of our books. Most of the class is gone; some of them watch in mild amusement, though I skip over tadpole's gaze.

"You don't need to be anxious," Edward whispers to me, placing my books in my lap. "Take a deep breath, you'll be alright."

I like that he doesn't ask me what's wrong, because I don't know if I could answer him if he had.

...

There was still that nagging suspicion that something was wrong with Rose; like she hated to see Edward and me officially together.

I feel like I trust Rosalie more than anyone, and yet she hides so much from me. Granted, I'm not exactly an open book myself, but that doesn't mean that we aren't great friends.

So, why do I have this feeling? This huge pit at the bottom of my stomach – I feel like she doesn't want to see me with Edward.

Am I being paranoid?

Yes.

But am I?

My skull feels like it's cracking right down the middle, and I know for sure that this isn't what a relationship is supposed to feel like.

But I'm being stupid; I'm making mountains out of molehills.

Why do Moles make hills anyway?

Seems strange.

I mean, I get that they have to come up to get food and stuff, but why don't they make secret entrances through trees?

There could be like a little slide like on that Peter Pan movie. They seem clever enough.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asks as we walk up the steps.

"Do you think people still wear those long white night dresses?"

"You're not getting a long nightdress."

"Wendy looks cute in a nightdress."

"The places your mind goes," he says, although he doesn't sound surprised.

"Do you think Rose was okay with us?" Right away I wish I could stuff the question back into my big mouth.

"What do you mean?" He picks up my hand and starts messing with my fingers as we walk.

"I mean about _us_. She didn't look happy."

"Thorn never looks happy."

"I've seen her happy."

"Did all the living creatures in the general area die?"

"No."

"Did her face crack in half?"

"Surprisingly, no."

"Did-"

"Edward, I'm serious! She's a really good friend, and I felt like she wasn't all that happy with us together."

"You're getting a little clingy." He's joking, I hope.

"Edward!" I slap his arm.

"You should talk to her. Don't let your mind go into overdrive, try not to make things complicated and let her explain. And if she pisses you off, round-house kick her in the face."

"I'll round-house kick you in the face."

"What did I do?" I wrap my arm around his waist as his arm goes over my shoulder.

"I'd do it just because I could."

"Well, it's nice to know that my girlfriend can kick the crap out of me," he says, pretending to look scared.

"I think it was pretty obvious from the start," I reply and we both nod seriously. He breaks first, smirking before stealing a kiss.

"Girlfriend?" A voice says, and I drop my arm from his waist as we turn to the side.

"Emmett," I say, smiling lightly. I don't know why it feels so uncomfortable, but the three of us just stand there. It's then that I realise that, outside of work shop, this is the first time I've seen them together in school.

"Congratulations, I guess," he says, with a weak smile.

"Thanks," I say, unsure of where this is going.

Then a hand sneaks around his huge arm, bright pink claws digging into his muscle. I see him wince.

"Well, look who it is," the wicked bitch of the west says with a saccharine smile, "my leftovers and his charity case."

Edward's arm tightens around my shoulder, as if he's ready to steer me away. This pisses me off; if it was any other person he'd respond with a sarcastic comment, but because it was this whore, it was like he was scared to say anything.

"Careful, Tanya, wouldn't want me to ruin that expensive nose job," I say, but this time I stand my ground. I don't walk away and leave it at that; I'm the one in control; not her, not Emmett, and certainly not Edward. I'm the one that gets to choose what's going to go down here, and for the first time in my life, I feel free to do what I want. I don't feel run by anger, because Edward's fingertips are touching my skin and igniting me with calm. I don't feel suppressed by my mother, because her voice doesn't grate in my ears anymore. And I really don't care that Tanya went out with Edward, because now he's _mine_ and I plan on keeping him.

She seems unnerved by my smile, and she should be.

"I hear you pissed off Hound," she says eventually, directly to Edward who's looking at the end of my hair he has between his fingertips. She looks satisfied when Edward freezes up.

"Heel Scrappy." I've opened my mouth, but it's not me that says the words. "I'd be very careful about what I talked about if I were you, because your fake acrylics wouldn't stand a chance."

Rose is stood beside me, like some valiant warrior. She's steely, her eyes a piercing metallic blue. She seems angrier than she should be, and my traitorous brain tells me it's because she's standing up for Edward. Her eyes trace Emmett's arm, like she's about to snap Tanya's fingers one by one.

Emmett pushes Tanya, and walks away with her. His movement is so jerky that I jump a little, it's like the air has suddenly become white hot and none of us can stand it.

"Well that was severely uncomfortable," Edward says and I shrug out from under his arm. "Hey, what is it?"

"Seriously? You didn't see the problem there?" I push back his hand as he reaches out and turn away from both Rose and him, too.

"Bella-"

"Just...Just don't." I storm away and don't look back, trying to stop my mind from conjuring images of him and Rose together. Why didn't he stand up for himself? More to the point, why didn't he stand up for me?

I don't know why I feel betrayed. In fact, I feel a little guilty at how angry I am at him.

And I guess because I refuse to let myself be mad at Rose, all of the confusion and anger I feel like I should have towards her is directed towards him.

But now I'm getting madder for being angry in the first place.

Oh my good god, I think my brain is about to explode.

I'm so in my head that I don't even notice that I've crashed into someone until I'm actually on the floor with all of my books scattered around.

"Oh, hey, sorry!" Good Lord, just what I need.

"Sorry, Tadpole, I wasn't looking where I was going," he gives me a big grin, like knocking me to the ground has been a great pleasure. He starts to gather all of our books up, shuffling papers and messing things up. I want to bash him in the head with a textbook, but I figure that would be counterproductive.

"That's alright," he gushes, shoving my books back into my arms and propelling himself up. "Shall I walk you to class?" he asks, and I respond with a tight smile.

"Sure," I say, though I wish I had an excuse to say no.

"I heard about Old English," he says as we walk, and I'm guessing he would. In fact, it's no doubt the entire school knows about what he did to James. Though I'm guessing they don't know why. "He gets possessive, you know."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"That's what he did with Tanya; he got too clingy so she dumped him."

I don't think he realises that I've stopped walking, because he keeps talking away. I decide to just scuttle down the adjacent corridor, hoping he walks all the way to my class without ever stopping to look at whether I'm still there.

How dare he? It's no wonder Edward's so pissed off all of the time; all of the rumours covering up the truth. It must be so infuriating to have people believe a lie.

Then, I get angry at myself. Of course Edward wouldn't know what to do or say in Tanya's presence, she broke his heart, and then ruined the relationship he had with his big brother. He must be so scared to say anything in case he loses something else.

And then I make matters a hundred times worse by flipping out when he doesn't stick up for me.

God, I'm such an asshole.

I have a splitting headache for the rest of my classes, and I don't absorb any information. If I keep going at this rate, there's no way in hell my grades will stay good.

I see him as I'm walking towards the canteen, he's leaning against my locker with his bag over his shoulder and one leg propped up, looking spectacularly aloof and sexy.

"Bella." His eyes widen when I stand in front of him and he leans forward. "I'm really-" I pull him towards me and press his lips to mine. He drops his bag and wraps his arms around my back, dipping me a little. I wrap my fingers around the soft hair at the nape of his neck and sigh a little into his mouth.

"I'm sorry," I say when I pull back. "I'm a bitch." He still hasn't put me down; my chest is still pressed right up against his.

"No, I'm sorry. I just...freeze up around them. Then, I hate myself afterwards. I must seem like a total douche, but it's like my brain goes blank." He whispers this to me as if someone might be eavesdropping, and I instantly feel twice as bad.

"Let's just forget about it," I say and press my lips quickly to his again. I twine my fingers through his and drag him towards the steps that lead down to the canteen. When I first look back he's smirking, like he knows something everyone else doesn't.

When we pass a group of people, I look back to him again, for some reason he's scowling.

I cock my head to the side, like a puppy, silently asking him what's wrong. His eyes subconsciously flicker to the side. The group of Greeks, all looking our way. He pulls me close and throws an arm around my shoulder, like this is some kind of warning. He's not cute Edward anymore; he's angry Old English, with a death stare to match.

I pinch the skin on his neck, and he looks down.

"Why?" He says exasperatedly, like I'm a mental patient that won't let go of him.

He'd better not be thinking that.

"Why so angry, Mr. Pouty?" He directs me to the queue, relieving me from his arm but walking me from behind, like a child first learning to walk. I slap at his hands on my hips.

"I don't like it when people stare, it unnerves me."

"Because your stare is just so friendly and approachable."

"I don't stare."

"You're right; you glare instead."

"Do not."

"Hmm, like you're banishing people to the fiery pits of hell."

"If I was thinking that, I'd be smiling."

"We should see other people."

"Whatever you say, Wendy."

"I didn't say I wanted to _be_ Wendy, I just said she looks cute in that nightdress. Plus she can fight pirates and stuff in it...I wish I could fight pirates."

"We should see other people." He repeats my words like a stupid, sexy parrot and smirks to himself as he grabs both our trays and sets them down on the table.

"Well, that lasted long," Tex says from the seat in front of mine, but he's smiling that drowsy smile so I know he's all cool.

"I just got sick of his attitude, you know what I mean?" I say and Alice nods seriously.

"Plus, she just wants it all the time. I mean, I'm just one guy, after about the seventh time I'm like 'can I have a breather?' You know what I mean?" I slap his chest with the back of my hand so hard that it throbs.

"You're such a dick."

"What's that about my dick, Bella?"

"It's miniscule."

"You're delusional."

"I must be something for agreeing to go out with you."

"Why so touchy, darling?"

"Don't call me 'darling', _sweetheart._" He leans down and bites my neck a little too hard and I squeal like a mouse.

"Look what you've created," Rose comments to Alice who just beams a Cheshire cat grin. I don't ask her what she means, because it's believable that Alice will have messed with our lives to get us together...but I'm kind of grateful. I'll never admit it though.

...

Wood shop is tense.

As soon as I sit down Tex greets me with a silky grin and a tip of his bowler hat.

"Knock knock,"

"Who's there?"

"Daisy."

"Daisy who?"

"Daisy me rollin', they hatin', Patrolling they tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty." I crack a smile.

"Never took you for a hip hop fan."

"Serious? I am straight up G, yo." I snort because this boy is in a different realm than the rest of us.

When Edward and Emmett reach us it becomes hella cold. Like the air freezes up; Jasper catches the vibe and doesn't say anything more, so I'm forced to do my work.

"Books." The command is bitten out by a bitter man who has lost any love for life.

"Excuse me?" I say, and then regret it. His tiny eyes pierce into mine. I'm not feeling so headstrong today.

"I said books. As in, give me yours. Now." The three boys around me scramble to their work books and hand them over. He takes mine last and looks at it as if it might self-destruct at any time. "Pick them up on your way out."

Then he's gone, leaving behind an unsettling mood. This accompanied by the harsh separation between the two brothers makes my head ache.

Edward pulls my hand away from my temple and rubs the back of my neck. I give him a crooked smile but I know that he'll want to talk later. I just don't know what I'll say.

...

We're curled up on the couch in the living room, all of the lights are out and the soft glow from the TV screen illuminates his fantastic bone structure. I'm making him watch America's Next Top Model, but he doesn't seem to mind.

"See, that's the bitch I hate."

"Hmm,"

"She's so needy, she whines all the time; it's like Gina, suck it up you stupid slut."

"You're a lot meaner than I remember."

"This show brings out my inner bitch."

"...you mean there's _more?_"

"Fuck you."

"If you insist." He starts to prod my hips and I kick him until he's flattened me fully on the couch.

"We're in a deadlock."

"No, you're in a deadlock. I can move if I want to." I squint at him. "So, are you going to tell me what's up?"

"What would you like to be up?" I say with a ridiculous wink. He doesn't respond with anything productive though, he just gives me a look.

"I'm just feeling a little weird is all. I feel like my brain is running four hundred times faster than it should be."

"Is this about your mom?"

"What?" I push him upright with all of my strength and he kind of flops back. He's still pinning down my legs though. "No, it's not. In fact, I specifically told you that I was starting to get a little better about her."

"Okay, I'm sorry, I am. I just needed to know."

"I would have told you if it was about my mom."

"Okay," he says again, and then looks down at his hands. "If you regret...you know...it. You can just tell me." I sigh and pull my legs out from under him, sitting up on my knees and holding his face in my hands.

"I really don't," I gulp, "I haven't felt this good about something in a long time." I wet my lips with my tongue.

"Good," he responds and pulls me up onto him, "because I don't plan on letting you get away."

...

After realising that it is about twenty minutes past the time I'd told Charlie I'd be back over for dinner, I quickly dive out of Edward's house and sprint over his garden and into mine.

The car in the drive surprises me at first, but then I remember Charlie's 'guest'.

She's pretty; her hair is a soft jet black and pulled back with a tribal band. Her smile is warm and white and her hand is squishy.

"I'm Dr. Clearwater, but call me Sue."

"I'm Miss Swan, but call me Bella." She blinks and Charlie flushes.

"Come into the kitchen, Sue, I've set the table up." If looks could kill, there'd be lasers coming out of Charlie's eyes a la Cyclops. I snigger silently and follow behind.

"Oh, this is lovely Charlie." He flushes again; what is wrong with this man?

"Yeah, Dad." His eyes snap to me, daring me to say something sarcastic. "It really is nice," I finish with a satisfied grin.

And I mean it too.

He's used the nice china, and the clean table cloth. There's a bunch of daffodils in the centre of the table.

Has Charlie brushed his moustache?

He sees me eying it.

The dinner conversation is sparse, on my part anyway. Charlie seems to be saying just about everything to keep me from butting in with something hilarious. And believe me, I've had my share of opportunities.

Like when she said: "It's hard to find time to relax when you have such a hands-on job, I rarely have ten minutes to myself."

I had something about "minutes" and "Charlie's specialty" lined up, but he wasn't having any of it.

I ate my spaghetti in silence.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow for your appointment?" I hear her say, as I eavesdrop from the landing at the top of the stairs.

"Can't wait." Ooh, smooth one, Charles.

Then there's silence, and I try to smoosh my face against the carpet so that I can see what's going on through the banister.

The door slams shut after her car pulls away.

"Did you pull?" I call out to the silence, and I can swear that I hear a responding chuckle.

I go to bed not long after that. I decide to write the essay I have for English in bed, no matter how scruffy my writing may be.

My phone buzzes.

_Night _darling_, Tell me about Charlie's date tomorrow._

I Smirk, there's no way in hell that will be my term of endearment.

**Good night, **_**sweetheart,**_** it was saucy. **

When I put my phone on my bedside cabinet, my bag decides to jump off of my bed.

I un-tuck myself from my blanket, grumbling about the minds of inanimate objects as I stuff all of my shit back into my bag.

I notice the folded piece of paper wedged underneath my rug, and I am forced to stretch to retrieve it. The writing is scruffy and unrecognisable, but the two words puzzle me incorrigibly.

**Sanctuary! Sanctuary! **

What the actual fuck?

**Sup, Son? **

**Where I come from, "Have you pulled?" means, have you hooked up/got a date/kissed etc. Just to clarify! Oh, my British banter is top class. Obviously...**

**Hope you're all having a good 2012, and haven't left me! I'm super busy all of the time, so I just cram chapters in when I can – don't hate me! Review and let me know whatcha think!**


	18. Memories and Mysteries

**A/N S'up? Come here often?**

**Looking back on previous A/N's, I begin to wonder if I have a personality disorder. **

**Shut up, bitch! Aww, you're such a cutie! I hate you. WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME? **

**Disclaimer: Will the real Stephenie Meyer please stand up, please stand up, please stand up. **

**Chapter 18**

**Memories and Mysteries**

Boy is flipping out.

I hold up one hand to stop him from pacing back and forth across the room.

What had started as a lovely conversation about my father's sex life had somehow morphed into Edward turning into this severely paranoid, schizophrenic who had a problem with standing in one place.

"Explain it one more time," he demands and I consider throwing a textbook at him.

"I'm lying in bed, I'm writing an essay, I knock the bag off the bed and all the stuff falls out," I talk slowly and patronizingly but he seems to be listening intensively regardless, "I see a folded piece of paper, I pick up said piece of paper, unfold paper, read note. The end," I finish with a small bow which he doesn't appreciate.

"So, it fell out of your bag?"

"Well, unless someone crawled into the room and wedged it under my rug...come to think of it, I do have a few unwanted guests that have a habit of trailing through my window."

"Who?" His voice is hilariously high.

"Well...you."

"I'm unwanted?" I pull him by the hand to stand between my legs as I sit on my bed, he looks adorably confused.

"No, I was just being facetious."

"You do that a lot," he says, although his heart isn't in it. I can see his eyes darting back and forth, as if his brain is working at full speed, coming up with a number of different scenarios.

"Come here," I say, lying back and pulling him down on top of me as I do so. His hand goes around my back and the other rests on my ass, but I don't say anything because he's all pouty. I think he notices this.

"This is what I was worried about..." he mumbles into my hair and I roll my eyes.

"Quasi-mysterious Disney references scrawled on paper?"

"It _means_ something," he insists.

"Or maybe it doesn't."

"But maybe it _does._"

"Edward,"

"Bella,"

"Don't do this; I've already told you, you can either have me or don't. But you can't hover in between. We're together now and you have to accept that."

"That's the problem, though, isn't it? We're together, so that means that you're in danger. What kind of selfish bastard would I have to be to allow that?"

"The selfish bastard that actually wants to be with me?"

"Oh, god, is that what you think? That I don't want you? Bella, I think I've made it pretty clear that I want you. I'm like a moth to your flame, a bee to your honey, a badger to your-"

"Enough with the analogies, I get it." I run my fingers through his hair. "Where were you going with that badger one, by the way?"

"I was hoping you'd stop me before I got to that."

"Solid move."

"I thought so."

"So, are we not fighting anymore?"

"That was a fight?"

"Well you seemed to do a whole lot of yelling."

"Bella, I didn't even raise my voice once."

"Well, it's still morning, I may have made a few things up; in my head you were really mad."

"Of course I'm really mad!" He pushes himself up onto his forearms to look down at me, "some whack-job is sending you suspicious notes, without telling you who they are or what they mean. Not to mention the dangerous situation I'm in at the moment; it's natural for me to worry that my girlfriend might get hurt, and it will be my fault."

"You're worried about being blamed?" I say, half joking, half hurt.

"Of course not! I don't ever want to see you hurt! But if you were and I was the cause, I'd never forgive myself." He pauses for a moment, and then he sighs. "It's like I'm torn between wanting you so badly that I can barely think about anything else, and wanting to protect you."

"I can protect myself," I remind him, because I feel it's necessary. He touches his forehead to mine.

"What scares me is that you're going to bite off more than you can chew."

"I have a very big mouth." He ignores this.

"I need to know that you're going to be careful."

"Damn, there go my evening plans of bungee-jumping, eating poisonous fish and accepting candy from suspiciously friendly guys in vans-"

"Fine, I just won't ever leave your side."

"Because that plan worked so well in the past..."

"We're going to be late," is all he says before pulling me up, holding my jacket for me to put on and following me downstairs for another day of school.

...

"So, I'm thinking like purple spikes; it would totally match the nose ring."

"Yeah, I refuse to let you dye your hair."

"But the nose ring is a go?"

"Sure, if you want me to call you a pussy for the rest of the year."

"...I'm not sure if that's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Probably not."

"Then again-"

"Jake, let's not poke an extra hole through your face, alright? You're far too pretty."

"You're right, I am. Everyone would be devastated."

"That's one way to look at it, I guess."

"_Everyone_," he repeats, "would be devastated."

"Right."

"As long as we're clear."

"Yes."

"Everyone."

"Got it."

"They'd be devastated."

"Let it go." Someone saunters up beside me, and I don't need to be the brilliantly intelligent person I am to know that it's Edward. "Oh, look at that, you managed to leave me alone for more than ten seconds."

"That was more than ten seconds? I was sure I counted eight."

"Have I mentioned I hate you today?"

"Very probably."

"Good."

"Wolf," he says with a nod of his head, Jake gives him a tight lipped smile. His hand hovers in the air for a second, as if about to pat me on the shoulder, but he decides against it apparently because he hurries away without a word.

"Bye," I drag out, long and sardonically, hoping to make him feel bad. He probably doesn't.

"So, have you noticed anything suspicious?"

"Gee, I don't know, Bond, have you double checked the security camera in my bra?"

"No, but I could do that now. I mean, you did ask-" He bends down to breast height, but I slap him away because we're in public. And people would be freaked out. Assumedly.

"I'm serious."

"No," I say with a sigh and a nonchalant wave of my hand, "nothing bizarre-o, though I'm beginning to believe you have some weird tracking device imbedded in my head."

"I've been following your tracks," he says with a serious nod.

"Ah. Well, Bear Grylls, I'll just be off then. Considering we don't actually have a class together."

"I'll walk you there."

"I'll manage."

"Just trying to be cautious."

"Just trying not to head butt you." He hesitates.

"I'm gone," he says, then pecks me quickly on the forehead as I push him away and stroll on.

Except it's not long before once again I'm not alone. What does it take? I mean really.

"Hi, Chimes,"

"Hey, Tadpole," I feel like he's a little too panty today, like he's just ran a whole corridor to get here.

"How's your day been?"

"Considering it's only second period, I'd say it's been just dandy."

"You're so funny!"

"So I'm told," I say with a nod, except he nods back, so I think he thinks I'm serious. Oh, boy.

"Did you get that English essay finished?" He asks and I look to the ceiling, hoping something will come crashing through to squish him.

Oh, I'm being mean. He's not_ that_ bad.

"Yeah, I think I rambled a bit with the conclusion though. I wasn't sure whether or not to add Kainene's disappearance as a portrayal of the strength of women, or as a factor of the destruction of love. I ended up integrating the two ideas, but I think it turned out a little pretentious. What do you think?"

He pauses.

"You're so smart, too!" I close my eyes for a second, and then just give him a weak smile before hurrying a bit ahead, worrying he'll start spouting out a whole new reel of compliments and I'd be forced to drop kick him.

...

Edward stands up as I walk towards him in Biology.

"Hey," he says kissing me briefly before I sit down.

"Tadpole is about to get launched across this room," I growl, slamming my head down onto the table. I feel Edward's hand brush through my hair, but it doesn't help.

"What's he done?" he asks, although it sounds a little too innocent, as though if I looked up from my position now, he'd be punching Mike in the face with his other hand.

I sit up quickly, just in case.

Edward's eyes flick to me.

"He's just been following me around, that's all. He made sure to catch up with me to walk here. I know I sound mean, but the boy just annoys me."

"I wonder why he's chosen now to be so clingy..."

"Oh, nuh uh, get that look off your face. It was _not_ Mike that put that note in my bag!"

"How would you know, Bella?"

"He's too innocently creepy."

"Okay, I know you're the English nerd, wouldn't 'innocently creepy' be like a paradox or something?"

"An oxymoron."

"Same difference."

"Technically, a paradox is a statement or a group of statements which contradict each other, whereas an oxymoron generally applies to a combination of two incongruous terms. For example, the rule might even apply to the phrase 'same difference', where-" His forehead hits the table with a thud and he lets out a fake snore. "I sincerely hope that hurt."

"It was worth it," Then he gasps, his eyes go wide and points at me. "You completely just distracted me without using sexual intonation," I smile innocently; "you're an evil genius." He slaps a palm down on the table with finality. I roll my eyes in return.

"Oh, please, if you didn't know that before, you don't know me at all."

"But, seriously, I'm not letting this go. I'm going to talk to Tex, he has the in about everyone in this place,"

"Has the _in_?" I say with a look of disgust, "I think I might have to reconsider going out with you."

"Hey, I accept you and your geeky obsession with words, your manly strength and your scariness. The least you can do is accept me and my use of awkward 90's phrases."

"Manly strength?"

"Uh...you're pretty?"

"Scariness?"

"I don't-"

"That is the sweetest thing you've ever said to me." I kiss his cheek, then he looks at me for a moment.

"Oh, Lord."

...

"No problem-o," Tex says, slouching back on the chair like he's about to melt right onto the floor, "I'm coming round tonight anyway, I'll let you know everything then."

"Thanks, man," They do a weird handshake and I exchange a look with Alice, who looks as equally bored as I feel.

"Why is it I love you again?" Alice asks, and Jasper sighs, throwing an arm around her shoulders.

"I've explained this; my incredible intelligence, unfaultable cool and effortlessly wavy hair," he drones, though I don't think he appreciates the snort I give him. I pretend to be absorbed in my apple juice.

"I think you might have to write it down."

I eye Rose when she sits down in front of me, but it's Alice who points out the obvious.

"You have lipstick, like, all over your face." Rosalie's eyes widen and she accepts my mirror from my hands, scrubbing at her lips until I think they might fall off.

"Well, well, sister," Tex says with a maniacal twitch of his eyebrows, "are you being courted this fine day?"

"Remember, you're virginity is the most valuable gift you possess," Edward decides to add, with a stupidly mimed tip of his imaginary hat.

"Is he dapper?" Rose glowers at Tex.

"Jaunty?" Edward doesn't escape her glare.

"A fine, young man?"

"Is chivalry really dead?"

My hand and Alice's both move at once, and in a moment of pure comedy gold the sound of slapping resonates through the room. Edward rubs the back of his head as Alice and I fist pump across the table. Jasper doesn't seem to have been affected at all, though he stops with the remarks.

"Well?" I say after a moment's pause.

"Who's the guy?" Alice asks then.

"What makes you think it's a guy?" Rose responds, wiping her clean mouth again just in case.

"Scandalous!" Edward flinches when I move my hand again, "I'm done." He assures me, snaking his arm around my waist.

"It's cool if you don't want to tell us," I say, and then hate myself when my eyes flicker to Edward's mouth for any traces of Very Cherry Berry.

But that would be impossible.

"It's nothing, honestly," she says, with a diverting shake of her head. "Let it go."

...

"I'm just going next door," I say, almost out of the house, not really expecting a response.

"Actually," he shouts after me, running into the lobby with a wooden spoon and flour all over his shirt. "I was thinking we could hang out."

"Seriously?" I say in a voice a few octaves higher than my own, my mouth hanging open.

"Yeah,"

"Why?" I can't help myself; the word is out before I can stop it.

"Honestly?" I nod my head slowly, "Sue told me that she recognised a little tension between us, and thought we should do something. Just you and me. Clear the air a bit."

"The air is fine, if a little floury," I say, kind of petulantly.

"I know you probably don't want to...I mean that's totally acceptable, considering...But I did tell you I'd try, and I was hoping that you would too...But I get that-" I stop him with a sigh; I think of Jasper and Edward one door over, plotting a place to dump Tadpole's body, and then I look at the expectant face of my dad.

"I'm not bloody baking," I say, slamming the door shut a throwing my jacket off of me. "By the way; Sue?"

"We're on first name terms now," I follow behind him into the kitchen.

"Is she forcing you to destroy our kitchen?" I say, eying the mess on the counters and the floor.

"The packet burst open," he defends, holding up the limp paper bag. "She thought baking would be a good way to bond."

"Well I have a better idea; it's called, let's just watch a movie."

"Ah, see, she told me you'd say that," he says, with a stupidly excited grin, "but I'm the parent, so what I say goes," he sounds like he has rehearsed this.

After realising cupcakes do actually require flour, Charlie forces me to take a drive with him to the store. He then switches off the music when I slot a Kinks CD in.

"We need to be able to hear each other to talk,"

"Why can't we bond over good music?"

"Just go with it." I sigh for what feels like the fortieth time in the last hour, but I keep my mouth shut and don't complain again.

"Oh, looks like we'll have to head back, another night maybe?" I say hopefully when he draws up to a road blocked sign.

"No need," he says defiantly, "We can go the old farmer's route." I slam my head back against the headrest.

Although he wanted to talk, he doesn't speak for another five minutes. I wonder if he's trying to think of something to say.

The road that we're on is weird; there aren't any houses, just rows of dark buildings that look like they've seen better days, the road is a little dusty, too, and I can hear pebbles launching themselves at the base of the truck.

He cuts the silence with one phrase.

"That's the hospital you were born in." He doesn't point at a building; he doesn't even look at me, he just stares straight ahead as we pass a long, two-story building with wide windows and bright lights. It looks empty, though, with only two ambulances parked outside. "They opened a new one closer to town, but I don't think they'll ever shut that place down."

I feel like I don't control my hands as I stroke the edge of my window with the tips of my fingers, imagining the panic driving my mother up to those doors. Little me, Charlie and Renee. A happy family.

I wonder if she was happy then.

"That's the church we used to go to." This time, he tips his forehead to the tall building, with the huge, curved, double doors, the wooden steeple and the mammoth tower encasing the dark, hiding bell. "They used to call all of the time, but after a while I think they realised we weren't going back." The dust billows up around the window shrouding the regal, wooden structure in a powdered haze as we roll by. "They imported the bell from Europe, it's about two hundred years old...or that's what they say anyway. I think they just like to make it seem cooler than it is. I don't think it's ever even worked, it's just an icon, you know?"

I take a deep breath.

"They call me Chimes at school."

"Really?"

"Because bells chime." He snorts.

"I'm guess that was Whacky-tobacky's logic."

"Wacky-Mcwhosits?"

"Those guys get a reputation with the officers of law, if you know what I mean? When we don't remember their names, we just improvise." The howling laughter surprises both Charlie and me. It takes me a moment to realise it's me that's laughing.

I wipe the corners of my eyes with my sleeve.

I glance at him and notice that he's holding back a smile.

"You're one of those, then?" he says next, and I almost wish he hadn't.

"A Freak? Yes."

"You know what happens between those two gangs."

"Gangs? Dad, this isn't West Side Story."

"I want you to be careful,"

"Charlie-"

"Don't. Tell me that you'll be careful. Tell me you won't do anything stupid."

"I won't."

"Now, I know you, Bells. I know you don't want to believe that I do. Your temperament is just as fiery as mine – and I know that you can hold your own...But I've seen those boys. They don't care if you're a girl. It's all a part of the game, Bells. I can't stop you from being one of them; in fact, I'm sure as hell relieved that you're not cavorting around with a sparkly, gold pin on your chest. But it get's dangerous around about this time. And you need to promise me that I can trust you to know when to fight, and to know when to run for your life. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir," I say, but for once it's not sarcastic. The heat in his voice is strong, and I know exactly what he's talking about. This is dangerous; this is war.

He's not saying that I can't be a part of it – which is strange, as that's what I would expect. He's telling me to be smart about it, and that's exactly what I plan on doing.

"Good," He finishes, then switches the radio on a little, but keeps it at a low level.

"So, I'm guessing this would be a bad time to tell you that I'm dating Edward Cullen?"

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	19. Phones

**Chapter 19**

**Phones**

**A/N Yo, how's it hanging?**

**That just reminded me of that part of F.R.I.E.N.D.S where Chandler's like "I'm hanging in...and a little out." **

**Good times. **

**Disclaimer: Ain't no other, A-ain't no other Meyer...Stephenie Meyer wrote Twilight...**

"You're totally overreacting!" I shout, not meaning to sound so vicious.

"It's not even that you're dating one of _them, _you're dating the fucking ring-leader!"

"It's not a circus."

"It might as well be! Isabella, he's dangerous!"

"Oh, it's 'Isabella' now, is it Charles?"

"Now you listen to me, young lady-"

"For fucks sake, 'young lady?' When did you age forty years?"

"This is outrageous! I can't even think straight right now!" With all thoughts of cupcakes gone, we drive back to the house in silence. It is only once we walked through the door that he'd started to yell.

He paces back and forward, like a caged bull.

"I like him." He stops moving, closes his eyes and just breathes for a minute or two.

"_You _would, wouldn't you?" He sounds defeated, and it hurts me that he isn't the strong man I know he can be.

"I'm allowed to choose who I like, what's up to you is whether you accept it. If you don't then I'll just have to live with that...But I need you to know that if I were to break up with him, it will be on _my_ terms, no one else's." He sits down on the couch next to me, in silence.

"You're so much smarter than I was at your age," he says then, with a surprising smile.

"I've had to grow up a little faster than other kids," I point out, not realising how this might affect him until I've actually said it.

"I'm sorry for that." He takes another deep breath, "I sometimes wish that I was one of those dads; the perfect ones with the awesome jobs, the beautiful loving wife, and the authorial, respectable but cool image as a father. But I'm not; no one in this world is perfect, and in order to live a true life, we need to understand that."

"Wait," I say, holding up a palm, "Rewind."

"Cool image?"

"No, after that."

"True life?"

"Dad! Did you just say, 'no one in this world is perfect'?"

"Yeah, my father used to say it to me when I was younger. He'd say that as long as you work hard, and you stay true to yourself, you can get pretty damn close. But you're always allowed to make mistakes."

"He sounds like a motivational speaker." This isn't what I want to say. What I want to tell him is that I remember; I remember him telling me those exact words. I live by that rule, because in my mother's house, it was only me that wasn't perfect.

"My dad was my favourite person in the world; he adored you. I'm pretty sure after you were born he visited every hour on the hour. I was actually a little jealous at the time; he didn't visit all that much before you were born. He didn't like Renee all that much. I like to think that I was his favourite son; with five brothers it's a little hard to stand out. But he always made me feel special."

"I wish I could have met him properly,"

"I haven't talked to my brothers in years. When pop died we each went our separate ways."

"Maybe you should talk to Sue about that," I suggest, leaning back against the soft cushions.

"I think I might." He flips the TV on, and no more is spoken.

For the first time since I can remember, I sit and watch TV with my father. We don't even talk; we just sit and watch in comfortable silence.

...

"Transformers?"

"I know, right? Of all the bonding movies, it would be Transformers."

"I'm happy that you're happy." He places a kiss on my stomach and I pull his hair.

"That's corny."

"I think we've discovered that I'm oozing corn."

"That's an awkward descriptive."

"I realised when I said it." He crawls up to lie beside me.

It's quiet for a moment; the only sound is our breathing. Mine is faster and shallower, whilst he takes deep, long inhales.

"I think I like you, Bella Swan," Edward whispers, next to my face. I turn my head to look at him, my nose brushing his.

"Why, thank the Lord," I whisper in return, in my best Scarlett O'hara.

"You're an odd one,"

"I think we've discovered that I'm oozing odd."

"Well, look at that, you brought it back." And then he kisses me, and I forget whatever it was that we were talking about.

...

"So you whores all better go, because I've worked my ass off for this, and none of you showed up to my rehearsals." I cough and raise my hand like a child, and for some reason Tex throws a grape at me. "Friday. Seven. Everyone. Including," she swings round and points at Edward, "you."

"Why am I being singled out?" Because she's in love with you and she doesn't want you to miss her play so that she can be the centre of your attention for an hour and a half.

Damn it, I'm a bitch.

A jealous, paranoid, narcissistic bitch.

"Because now you don't have the excuse of being the third wheel amongst Dingus and Donut over there," she flails her hand in the direction of Tex, with Alice draped across his lap and Edward sighs before pulling me in closer to his side.

"Hey," Alice bites out, "Who's who?"

"Be there," she snaps then turns to go.

"Wait! I'd better not be Dingus!" Alice yells after her. She is awarded with a middle finger that Rosalie gives over her shoulder as she walks away. "I'm Donut," she huffs to Jasper, who just tightens his grip around her waist.

"Yes, you are."

"Are you calling me _fat?"_ she screeches, forcing Edward and I to endure their crazy argument about how much he actually loves her.

"If I'm ever that mental," I whisper in his ear whilst Alice yaps away to a regretful looking Jasper, "I give you permission to punch me in the face." He snorts.

"Are you allowed to punch back?"

"Yes,"

"Then, no thank you." I nudge under his ribs with my elbow. Then, realising that I'm being half of one of those sickly sweet couples, I shrug out from under his arm.

He catches my belt loop with his thumb and I let him leave it there, so that he can touch me without being too clingy.

"Tex," he says quietly after a moment, "have you noticed then?"

"Yeah, I have, actually. It's odd."

"Noticed what?" They both ignore me.

"Do you think we should have a meeting then, or-"

"No, I don't think that's necessary. We should just wait it out."

"Wait what out?" I ask, jabbing Edward in the side with my bean covered plastic spork.

"Is that safe?" I give him another jab.

"There's nothing else we can do really."

"Okay, you two are about to get your heads bashed together." They both finally look at me, and I cross my arms over my chest. "What's going on?"

"Old English just thinks it's a little weird that nobody's said or done anything about Hound. It's making us a little uneasy because the guy is insane – he's completely unpredictable and we can't do anything until we work out what's actually going on."

"Why don't you just be happy that he's not getting you back?"

"That's the thing with Hound," Edward says in a low voice, "he _always_ gets you back."

...

Rosalie is waiting outside my math class when I get out, one heeled boot propped up against the wall.

"Howdy," I say, digging my hands deep inside my leather jacket pockets.

"Hey...Good class?"

"Yeah," I say slowly, and suspiciously.

"Cool."

"Did you...have something you wanted to say?"

"Um," she looks over my shoulder for a second and then flicks her eyes back to me quickly, "just reminding you about Friday."

"I got the memo."

"So, we're getting changed at Alice's at six,"

"I remember."

"Then leaving at seven."

"It's only been an hour since lunch...I also got the text you sent," I hold up my phone. Her eyes flicker back over my shoulder again, and I consider spinning around as quickly as I can to see who it is she's looking at. She looks back at me,

"Right, of course, I was just making sure."

"Rose?" I want to ask her so many things, there are so many suspicious thoughts running through my head all at once, but I can't do it. I just can't ask her anything like that, because saying my suspicions out loud would make them too real. "Are you nervous?" I'm a pussy.

"Not at all, I live for that kind of stuff. I have to go, okay?"

"Yeah," I say and watch as she smiles then barrels past me and down the hall.

When I get to wood shop, everyone's already there, forcing me to walk past Professor Aro alone, with his huge boots up on the desk. It's then that I see the twinkling chain around his neck and the huge, gaudy cross nestled between the folds of his shirt. Classy.

"Tardy," is all he says, and I'm surprised that he doesn't do anything further to punish me, he just points at my work station with a sausage finger.

"Sorry," I say, although I'm really not.

"S'up, nugget?" Tex greets, and I don't question it.

"Hey," I say with a small laugh.

"I've got some new jokes," he continues, "I think you'll find them up to your standard of humour,"

"Lay them on me;" I say, sliding down next to Edward as Tex fishes out his phone.

"This morning on the way to work, I drove into the back of a car at some lights. I wasn't really paying attention," he begins, reading off of the little screen, "the driver got out; he was a dwarf. He said, 'I'm not happy', and I said 'well, which one are you then?'"

I blink at him.

"That's awful."

"I thought it was funny..."

"You thought wrong."

"I mean, do you get it though?"

"Am I mentally deficient?" He looks to Edward, as if he will somehow confirm or deny this. "The answer you're looking for would be no."

"Well how about this one-"

"I've lost respect for your sense of humour,"

"Now, that hurts." He holds out his phone to me. "Just read it then. It's funnier if you read it,"

"No, fuck off."

"I'll just text you it then."

"Tex, don't," my phone vibrates in my pocket. "Of all the wastes of time, you have got to be-" As I begin to pull my phone out of my jeans a shadow drops over our little work station.

"Oh look at that, the delinquents are playing on their phone's when they should be working,"

"Delinquents?" Emmet echoes Aro with his eyebrows cocked. "That's hardly appropriate."

"And you know who doesn't give a fuck? That'd be me. Phone's, now."

"But I-"

"You too Cullen...or, ah, Cullen's I guess."

"I don't even have my phone out,"

"Does this face look like it cares?"

"It looks like it-" I begin but Edward pulls my hair to stop me. He takes my phone out of my hand and passes it to the dickhead of a teacher, along with his own.

"What the fuck?" I mouth to him but he gives me a look. Professor Aro smirks then dawdles off with all four of our phones in his hands. "What the hell was that?" I screech, then, smacking Edward on the arm.

"You're already on the wrong side of Aro, there's no way I'm going to let you bitch him out. He hates all of us, but he seems to _really_ hate you. And it doesn't surprise me actually. Of all the bone-headed moves, Bella, you really made a great first impression."

"I don't know why you're snapping at me, Cullen. I'm not the one who just handed over our phones to some psychopath with a serious grudge against me."

"What else was I supposed to do?"

"Um, how about not give him my phone?"

"Think about it, Bella-"

"Go and fucking think about it yourself."

"Bella-"

"Stop talking to me." I notice that Emmett is barely talking; he's in the corner scribbling away at his clipboard. I wonder what's wrong with him, but I'm too mad at his stupid brother to even make clear sentences.

We're all silent for a little while until Jasper decides to speak up.

"It's cool; I can remember most of the jokes anyway."

...

"Just stop walking and talk to me for two seconds,"

"No,"

"Bella!"

"Just fuck off, Edward."

"I don't even get why you're so mad at me."

"You're shrouding me; I can make my own decisions. I've managed just fine in the past deciding what I can and can't say."

"Okay, I'm sorry for that, but I was trying to help, really. You can be a bit brash, and I didn't want you to get into trouble. Especially with Aro."

"Brash? You're one to talk, Old English."

"You know what? I'm not doing this!" He snaps, pulling at his hair before storming off down the corridor. People are looking, but I don't care.

"Just run away then, Cullen, great way of dealing with your problems." He's almost all the way down the corridor, so I am forced to shout, "Pussy!"

I don't even look at anybody else, I just storm down the stairs to get to my locker, carrying all of my shit in one hand. I closely inspect my phone, checking the texts and then my pictures, just in case he's tampered with it. It appears fine, though, as far as I can tell.

Stupid Edward.

Stupid Tex.

Stupid phone.

Stupid Aro.

Oh, and look at that, stupid Mike leaning against the row of lockers next to mine.

"I'm not in the mood, Tadpole."

"Oh." He blushes a deep red, but I don't seem to give one flying fuck. "I just...I saw what happened and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

I take a deep breath.

"I'm fine," I say as calmly as I can manage, then I get to work opening my locker with just one hand, my folders supported by my other arm and my knee. Mike doesn't seem to notice that I'm struggling.

"Well, if you ever need to talk-"

"You'll be the first one that comes to mind," I drawl back asI jam my books in.

"Really? I'm glad you think that actually, Chimes, because-"

"Tadpole! For the love of all that is holy, give it a break." I punctuate my words with a shove to my resisting folders.

Unfortunately, my locker has decided to be a bastard today. When I go to shut the door, it spits all of my papers back out onto the ground. Notes everywhere.

Both Mike and I just stand and stare at the mess for a while, I'm seriously considering just walking away.

Instead I sink to my knees and start to gather everything together, and eventually Mike starts to help, too.

I'm beginning to think he's bad luck when it comes to me carrying things.

I thank him when everything is fixed and hurry away as soon as I can, but as I'm about half way down the corridor he stops me.

"Chimes!" I stop and throw my head back.

This is really not a good day for me.

In fact, this is the worst that I've felt since I've started going out with Edward; for the first time in a while my skin longs for the cool, wet drops of rain.

"Your phone! You left it on the floor, silly!" I snatch it out of his hand and shove it into my pocket.

I feel like an awful person, because I barely say thank you before darting away. This day needs to be over.

...

I'm lying face down on my bed, so I don't hear or see Edward in my room until he clears his throat.

For some reason I'm not surprised, though.

"What?" I say, but I'm muffled by my pillow, so it sounds more like "ffffat?"

"I come in peace," he says and when I flip over I am awarded with a yellow rose in my face.

"Did you raid your mother's garden?"

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

"I'm not in the mood, Edward," I say sitting up and shuffling backwards, I do accept the flower though.

"I know," he hesitates but then sits down on the edge of the bed. "I really didn't want to make you feel like I was telling you what to do; I was just trying to protect you. I didn't really think about how you would react."

"I might've overreacted a little...I just can't stand it when people tell me what I can and can't do without even considering my opinion, I've grown up in an environment where everything had to be exactly so. Renee's word was law...I don't want to live that way here; I escaped her here."

"I'm sorry," he repeats and touches his hand lightly to mine.

"That's okay," I lean forwards and kiss his temple lightly, "I know that you just try to do what's right, I guess I'm not so good at that."

"Don't be stupid-"

"Not the best apology strategy..."

"You're good at everything." He slides up so that we're sitting in the same position, both with our backs up against the headrest of my bed. I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, I am aren't I?" He snorts then links his finger through mine.

"Are you staying?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No." I suck his bottom lip between mine and he moans huskily.

"Cool," he says and clears his throat.

"It's PJ time,"

"Pyjama's are overrated," he calls after me as I skip into my bathroom.

I'm in the middle of brushing my hair when he shouts at me again.

"Your phone just went,"

"Check who it is," I say, walking back into the room like a crab with my head flipped upside down as I drag a brush through my hair.

"It says unknown number."

"What's it say?"

"Just a...bunch of vowels,"

"A bunch of what?"

"Just letters." I flick my head back and crawl onto my bed. I get momentarily distracted, because he's got _those_ glasses on again. "Bella?"

"Right, yeah." I cough. "Let me see."

It takes me a minute, but I get it.

"What does it mean?"

"Read it out loud."

"E. I. E. I. O."

"ee aye ee aye oh," I sing, and his eyes narrow.

"Old MacDonald?"

"Edward, who could-"

"Come here." He pulls me to his chest and hugs me a little too tight. "We need to call a meeting."

**Opinions? Lemme know! **

**Some of your reviews have me howling! I loved that "this is all pretty fucked up" – see, that's what I was going for! I figured I would spread my 'fucked up-ness' to the fanfic world.**

**I'm a good person.**

**My "crazy rants" are literally just how my mind works...I think people are jealous. They'd better be, anyway.**

**Review, boo! **

**Ha. **

**Because it rhymes?**

**No?**


	20. Explain, Chimes

**What do you mean you don't recognise this beautiful face? It has only been...oh...that long? Shit.**

**Life gets in the way guys, hope you ain't mad, brahh. **

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 20**

**Explain, Chimes**

"Guys, chill the fuck out," I say, my coffee nestled in my one hand and my other held up flat in a patronizing 'calm down' fashion.

"This is a highly sensitive matter," Tex tells me in a voice which indicates he is being completely, annoyingly serious.

"You're about to get hit by my highly sensitive fist."

"Bella, don't you get it? The first note was suspicious, but it wasn't dangerous...Whoever has done this has your phone number. Do you know what that means?"

"That I should be expecting a flurry of prank calls?" Edward looks scathingly back at me.

"That you are in danger, Bella, I told you us going out together was a bad idea."

Whoa.

Hold up a second.

What the fuck did he just say to me?

I watch the scene unfold; Rose, Tex and Alice both cringe away, but they seem to drown out in the hazy background. My eyes are focused on the six-foot-something dickhead in front of me, who looks like he's backpedalling his words.

"What I meant was-"

"Well, here's a _good_ idea," I say, and my voice is that regretfully familiar toneless drawl, cold and sharp, "you get out of my fucking house, and go die in a hole."

I stand up, then, bypassing Tex stood by the door. No one calls after me as I leave and start to ascend the stairs up to my room.

I want them all gone.

I don't think Edward slept at all last night, I could see his brain darting and diving to conclusions the whole time, and I knew that when morning came, he would expect everyone to show up to talk about it.

The damn text; for all I know, I accidentally subscribed to a children's nursery rhyme programme. Perhaps today's text will have something to do with rings of roses.

Edward didn't appreciate this genius idea; in fact, he didn't appreciate any of my conclusions.

"You're not taking this seriously," he says. "You have to look at the facts."

Well, fuck him.

I don't need him yammering on about the seriousness of a handwritten note and a suspicious text. I'm not scared of the Freaks _or_ the Greeks, not anymore, not now that I know that I can be myself, and if myself means kicking some ass, then be that as it may.

Tex wasn't helping my mood either; he was being far too Columbo for my liking.

He brought a freaking flipchart.

A flipchart.

To write notes and shit.

Regardless, I did enjoy the game of Pictionary Alice, Rose and I began before Tex complained that we were 'abusing his utensils' and took the dry wipe pen away from us.

He'd drawn a neat Venn diagram with the word 'Sanctuary' and the letters from the text; granted the middle section was still empty, but Edward called it 'progress'.

Alice called it 'shit' and was promptly banned from talking.

It was all too Scooby Doo for my liking.

And don't get me wrong, I love Scooby Doo. In fact, I'd happily spend a full Saturday watching Scooby Doo by myself rather than hanging out with real people.

Despite this, it does not mean I want to spend the morning before a full school day discussing the inevitability of my demise at the hands of a Disney loving farmer.

So when I looked out of my window and saw that their cars were not in fact gone, and therefore they were still in my living room, I picked up my phone and dialled the only person I could actually bear to see right now.

He was just far enough removed from this situation that I wouldn't be reminded so much of Edward, and yet far enough away so that I might actually think about something else.

He gets to my house in record time; I don't know if he was just nearby my house, or if he was that shocked by the tone of my voice that he rushed down here in case I did something drastic. I like to think it's the latter - that seems more badass.

I don't even look into the room as I pass, calling to Alice to lock the door behind her when she leaves. I swear I hear Edward growl, whether it be in frustration or anger, as I slam the door shut behind me.

But to be honest, I really don't care.

My mind is so set on getting away, just out of that place.

I am starting to think the heavy, Rose-esque makeup I'd gone with today was a symbol of how my day would pan out. I was in that sort of mood.

The fuck off mood.

And I think he senses it, because when I get into the car, Wolf doesn't say a word. He just waits until I' buckle myself in, then he revs the engine hard.

...

"You don't want to talk about it, do you?" He lets out a startled laugh. "Judging by that look, I'd say that'd be a solid 'no'."

"Gee, ya think?"

"Look, just know...you can talk to me. Okay?" I sigh and rub my forehead with my palm.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, after all he did go out of his way to drive me to school, and then sit with me in the parking lot until I'd calmed down a bit. He'd spent the whole ride with his hands clenched on the wheel, because I'd decided that the only way to cool off a little was to play REM as loudly as I could.

He seemed a little startled that I'd started screaming "it's the end of the world as we know it!" But he said nothing against it.

To be honest, it did actually make me feel better.

"I've been getting these notes...okay, there have been two but...they're really weird."

"Weird how?"

"Is there a scale of weirdness?"

"Think on a scale of Johnny Depp to Jim Carey."

"Jim Carey being?"

"Borderline hilarious peculiarity."

"And Johnny Depp therefore being-"

"-so mysteriously weird as to morph into sexily secretive."

"I think we're probably working off of a different scale."

"Well, that's hardly interesting."

"And yet it has Edward's panties in a twist-"

"I knew that guy was too scarily manish, he had to have something girly going for him!"

"-the problem is," I continue, completely bypassing his – surprisingly happy – outburst against my boyfriend, "all of the signs seem to point to Tadpole."

"What?" He doesn't look so jokey now. In fact, I've never seen Jake like this before. His face is so straight that the normally permanent laugh lines look practically nonexistent. He sits straight and still, and I marvel at how he doesn't move, because I've never been able to sit still for longer than five seconds. "Explain, Chimes."

His voice is deeper than I feel it should be, and for a moment I consider grabbing my bag and darting out of the car. After all, the only reason I'm here in the first place is that I was pissed off at Edward for overreacting.

Then again, if this is how Jake is acting too, am I perhaps under reacting? Am I not taking this seriously enough?

I begin to wonder if I truly know enough about both the Freaks and the Greeks to accurately adjust my level of fear. Perhaps because I am segregated from the other members - as they have been a part of these groups way before me – I'm not seeing the bigger picture.

"Bella!" he snaps out, and my hand instantly raises up to smack him, but I hold back and it hovers in the air. I let it fall down into my lap with a smack.

"The first note fell out of my bag in my room; it was handwritten and it had the word 'sanctuary' written twice."

"As in-"

"The hunchback of Notre Dame."

"Was it spelled correctly?"

"Yes,"

"What was the handwriting like?"

"Inexpressible, it had no character, it was just...generic."

"Then how does it link to Tadpole?"

"He helped me pick up my books when I dropped them; Edward seems to assume this means he planted it there, but I just can't see it!" He sits quietly for a moment.

"What was the other note?"

"Well, it was a text message." His fist tightens.

"This person has your number?"

"Well yes, but, Tadpole already has my number. So, the other day when he picked up my phone because I'd dropped it, wouldn't have been relevant, because he already has it."

"Chimes, what did it say?"

"E.I.E.I.O."

"Can you really blame Edward for freaking out?"

"I guess not, but that's not all he did!"

"I don't particularly want to hear about your relationship."

"Oh."

"I don't mean that in a mean way. I just...I don't want to hear about you two."

"Well, why not?"

"I don't like him, Chimes," he says with a sigh, "but I like you. You can date whoever the fuck you want. I just can't stand him being happy."

"But...Why?"

"He acts like he doesn't care about anything. He struts around this place like he owns it, but he doesn't. He's already pissed off Hound, not to mention the repercussions of beating up that Greek. He's ruthless, he doesn't think about his actions, and he sure as fuck doesn't care about the impact on you."

"Jake, I-"

"No, you listen. He might be some 'God' in your eyes and in the eyes of all of his other groupies in this place, but he is a selfish bastard. He lets his temper destroy his life and he's going to end up dragging yours down with him. He doesn't deserve someone like you; he doesn't deserve someone funny, and smart, and gorgeous, with an amazing life ahead of her. He didn't even deserve Tanya, and she was a skank whore. No one can stop you wanting him, but he's a destroyer, Chimes, he destroys things. He chews people up, and then he spits them back out again. Do you think I would have gotten beaten up if it wasn't for what he did in the past? Has he even told you about that? It's his fault, Chimes, all his fault." By the time he is finished, his chest is heaving and he has closed his eyes in frustration.

To begin with, the words weren't really sinking in. The tone he was using was a familiar one; stern, strict, and opinionated. So I was programmed to ignore it completely. But then what he was saying started to register.

And I really didn't fucking understand.

I actually surprised myself; my eyes started to tear up, and my nose started to tingle.

"I," I have to clear my throat because my voice breaks, "I don't know why you would say that to me. Why you would try to highlight the flaws of my boyfriend. And that's exactly who he is, Jacob, he's my boyfriend. I'm not perfect...I'm laughably imperfect. When I'm with him, everything feels different. I don't feel stupid, or ugly, or useless. I know that he's fucked up, but don't you _dare_ place all of this shit on him. Because every single person in this hell hole is messed up. Every single one." I open the car door now and slide out, because I'm seriously worried about losing my shit in front of him. It appears a nerve has been struck, and when my nerves are hit, it's like a two tonne truck. "I don't think we should talk for a while." I slam the door shut and hurry into the school with my bag clutched to my chest, heading straight towards the ladies bathroom.

When I look in the mirror I close my eyes. I can't bear to see the red blotches on my normally pale cheeks, or the flush about my neck. I most certainly don't want to see the pools of muddy brown behind my eyelids.

I feel disappointed when I cry.

Like I'm losing strength.

So, I don't let the tears fall, they just stay, brimming frustratingly in my eyes.

"This sucks," I say to my reflection, then bat at my cheeks as if this will somehow reduce the redness. Unsurprisingly, it makes it worse. I'm such an idiot.

When the door swings open, I jump. It slams against the wall and the sound reverberates around through the stalls.

"Well, he said Friday, so I-"

"Shut up," Tanya hisses to her babbling friend, who immediately turns bright red and silences herself. "Crying over your misfortunes? If so, you'll be here for a while."

"You're so funny for being such a dense bitch," I quip, picking up my stuff and heading to barge past them. I am not in the mood for petty bickering, as fun as it sometimes is.

"You'll sure be crying over a lot more soon."

"Brittany, shut the fuck up."

"Was that a threat?" I say, unable to stop myself. My hands fall to my sides and I can feel my whole body tense up. I take a step towards her and she flattens up against one of the stalls.

The blonde girl with the huge hazel eyes looks back and forth between Tanya and I, as if they are somehow communicating telepathically. She squeaks like a mouse and eventually Tanya breaks.

"For God's sake, let's go. I can't believe we have to share facilities with those disgusting freaks of nature anyway." She wraps her talons around Tiffany's tiny arm and drags her out.

"Hey, it'd be great if you would keep refusing to use the services in this school, it'll stop everyone else from worrying about catching your sordid ailments." _Sordid ailments?_ Jesus Christ, I've been spending _far_ too much time with Edward. Only he could infect my delightful come backs with his ridiculously uptight jargon.

I feel he should be punished for this.

...

It all goes down in Biology.

And by all goes down, I mean that Edward and I made up.

Unsurprisingly.

This whole relationship thing is easier than I thought; when he screws up, he apologises. When I screw up...he apologises.

Simple.

He wasn't exactly taking this opinion this time though, in fact, he came in as frosty as Rose.

"Let's sort this."

"What?"

"Let's sort this, right now." I don't know why I sound like a determined school teacher.

"But I was just going to-"

"Edward, I want this fixed. I mean now. I can't cope being mad at you, and I most certainly don't want you to be mad at me.

"Let me explain-"

"I overreact, I know that. But what you said...it really...it hurts...I don't want us being together to be a bad idea."

"I don't think that at-"

"What I mean is that it's hard for me. You know it is. When you say things like that, it just...I can't take that, Edward, I just want things to be-"

He presses his mouth firmly down on mine, his fingers pushing my hair behind my ear, but not letting go. I can't breathe for a moment.

"-Good."

"Things _are_ good. I know I sound like a broken record, but I'm sorry," he whispers, his eyes inches from mine. "All this is stressing me out. I can't bear to think of you in trouble. I say stupid things all of the time, and I don't mean them at all...You believe me don't you?" He places his forehead on mine for a second. "I need you to believe that I don't want anything other than you."

I take a deep breath.

"I know."

...

For the first time since I'd been here, Jake isn't at the table at lunch.

I try not to care too much.

Rose doesn't seem that happy that Edward and I are okay; I like to think it's because she thinks he doesn't deserve to be forgiven for what was said, rather than that she's madly in love with him.

Shut up, brain.

The afternoon flies by, and before I know it, I'm in Wood Shop. Except, I'm alone, because none of the guys seem to be here – which is quite strange, because I'm sure Emmett left Maths in front of me.

Tex is the first to get here, loping in like he's in slow motion or some shit.

"What is up, in the land that is Chiming?"

"New hammer," I saw, waving the shiny metal object in the air.

"Sexy."

"I know, right? I'm the handy-man's dream."

"You're my dream," Edward says, sliding down next to me and for some reason biting my shoulder.

"That was gross, never say that again."

"I thought it was cute."

"So you said it to me? You should know better by now..."

"I probably just shouldn't talk at all."

"We could get you a board or, like, a chart that you can write all of your thoughts on," I don't know why Tex sounds so excited when he suggests this.

"What the fuck is your deal with charts?" I ask, just as Emmett ambles over.

"Just because I like to present ideas in a set fashion-"

"Dude." Emmett shuts him down mid-rant with a shake of his head and a disappointed look.

"I hate you guys," he says, then pulls his beanie over his eyes and folds his arms, apparently in a huff.

We all realise we're sat staring at him at the same time, and all turn back to each other together.

"Edward told me, Bella,"

"Edward told you what?" The shock isn't from the idea of Edward sharing things, but rather from Edward actually talking to Emmett out of wood shop.

"About the messages," I groan a little too loud, and Edward narrows his eyes at me. "Come on, guys, let it go!"

"Chimes," Emmett says, leaning forward, looking far too serious for my liking. "We'll work this out."

We didn't need Jasper's comic raise of one side of his beanie, revealing just one eye, to realise that what Emmett was saying was a big deal. A Greek looking out for a Freak? Sacrilege!

I have this strange philosophical feeling like something is changing; I can't exactly put my finger on it, but I know that something is about to go down.

**What do ya think? **

**Review for me, my pretties. **


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